So disappointed on my sister?

Question

Hello everyone happy Friday!
Well I am a little sad mostly upset at my sister.
She offered me as gift to take my future husband and I to Hawaii for our honey moon she had this trip in mind for like a year cause her husband is president of a company so they always travel with the employees as a reward
We called my fiancés parents and they gave us the idea to just get married at Hawaii all our family was gonna go. After a week of planning and being exited and happy she calls today and tells me that it might be cancelled cause she might get divorce?
She married this guy cause of the material benefits so that’s a different story.
But she’s done this b4 to me to my mom to my niece to my sister. And its not fair.
I just want to call her and let her know that I don’t need her GIFTS”
What you think? I even as her to me my bridesmaid and after all I just don’t even wann
See her.
I don’t care about Hawaii I care about how she offers the world to my family and it wont happen.

3 years ago she told me to pick any course and she will pay it here I am still waiting on it and with a 4000 bill

She's beed saying she will get divorce seens mmmm lets see I dont even remember and yes I believed in her cause she is family and no I dont care about material stuff Hawaii sounds nice yes! but what bothers me is how she turns you down with this ****

Answer 1

Sorry that everything is falling apart. in response to the others who commented on you not being sorry for your sister, it's never good to get a divorce..but on the same line she married for all the wrong reasons, so why should you feel bad? That's my oppinion, I think people need to give you a break. it totally sucks. why don't you plan a destination wedding a little closer to home? does she break promises often? if so..don't let her give you empty promises!

Answer 2

I know you are upset that the wedding won't go off as planned but as someone else mentioned your sister might be getting divorced. No matter why she married him that will be traumatic for her and she'll need your support. If you don't care about Hawaii and you really just want the family to be happy then plan for the best wedding you can have and try to help her out as well. Being more involved in the wedding could help her. I understand being disappointed but don't be upset with her when her life is falling apart around her.

Answer 3

first off...why believe her if she's been doing it to everyone and you for ages?
second: why would you count on something like that from your sister and her husband? it was something she said, so unless she'd gotten you a voucher that was for the tickets to hawaii, you should have known that it might not pan out. the saying is "dont count your chickens before they hatch" well looks like this hawaii trip was a dud egg. Im sorry to say that your sister sounds like a piece of work, and sadly in future dont trust what she says or offers you!
but i also want to mention that if you throw it in her face this could cause family problems in future...and she might be going through a tough time shortly due to her impending divorce!
take it easy, calm down. dont be too angry. just take what she says with a grain of salt in future, and dont get excited when she offers you a porsche....
sorry hon! you'll have a great wedding whether it's at home or in hawaii!

PS amy ego L2Spell crikey...

Answer 4

If you know you sister is unreliable, then you shouldn't have made plans to go to Hawaii until she actually handed you the tickets.
Yes, it's not fair and it's rude - but it's the way she is, and you need to stop expecting her to be otherwise.

Getting in a fight will only cause unhappiness. The best "revenge" you can take on her will at the same time be the best way to preserve your happiness - simply stop expecting anything from her. Don't believe any of her promises, don't expect her to ever follow through, don't depend on her for anything. Then you'll be pleasantly surprised when she does, and you'll avoid any confusion or stress.

Answer 5

I am sorry you feel disappointed in your sister BUT..she's going through some sensitive thing's right "now" and more than likely she's pre-occupied with her life...

Sometimes, people have good intentions, they want to be able to do nice things for you, they say alot of things but never quite can come through in the end. You must remember in the end, she does not owe you anything. Even if she keeps offering, you CAN say "no thank you"..since you already know that it most likely won't pan out anyway...

If you kick her out of your wedding now, then you would only be making things worse and you would come off as selfish and self-centered. If you don't care about Hawaii then why the retaliation? It is unwise to fight fire with fire hunn..

It also sounds like you are holding a grudge about things she has done in the past. You set yourself up everytime to believe in her, and then you are upset when she does not come through. BUT this ain't her fault, it's yours. Your expectations are directionally proportionally to you acceptance of ANY situation. Don't project onto her your OWN mis-givings and judgement(s)..People are who they are, and by punishing them, helps not at all..God bless ya hunn..

Answer 6

She obviously has a lot of problems of her own and you should know by now not to depend on her for anything.
She will definitely not come through for your "gifts" because in the first place the money isn't hers to give-it's her husband's.
Does he know she is being so generous with her offers then backing out?
Do not let her sucker you in to thinking she is going to come through because she is not able to follow through with her empty promises.
Does she even have any remorse about not following through on her promises or does she just pass it off as though she's done nothing wrong?
Don't "accept" any more offers from her and find a way to work through your current problems.
You and your fiance can work through this and find another place for your wedding and honeymoon if necessary.
Take care.

Answer 7

Many people talk first before they deliver. Your sister is one of them. She has all these plans, but has no means of delivering those plans. Maybe because she doesn't have the money yet, and gets all excited when she "might" get the money. Now you know that she is this way, you know how to take her word. Listen to her and, say thanks until she delivers. If not, learn to trust yourself in finding the means - don't rely on others, but thank them when they come thru. Your were planning your wedding, but she's planning her divorce. Today, I think, she needs your help and shoulder to lean on. Be a big person.

Answer 8

I know this can be frustrating because it has an impact on trust which has an impact on any relationship. I have a sister who is just like yours, always promising, but often not coming through. You know this about your sister and I know this about mine too. Can you change her (NO). Do you stop caring for her because she is like this (NOT ME). I accept her for how she is and modify my behavior to keep from getting burned. Do not accept anything she says as what will be. If she promises to pay for a course you can't afford, have her pony up before you sign up. If she says she wants tickets to go to an event with you, have her give you the money before you buy the tickets. Her inability to follow through is her problem not yours. You cannot change it, you can only modify your behavior to protect yourself from the fallout.

Don't be withholding of your love and care for your sister because she is this way. I suspect a withholding environment is precisely what made her this way.

Answer 9

hmmmm I'm a little curiouse as to why you believed her to start with since this is clearly a behavior of hers. And why do you have a 4000 bill for a curise you didn't take? In order to book the cruise you have to put a deposited down to hold your spot and have it paid off before you go. Then if you don't pay it off you don't go and they sell of your cabin at a dicounted rate. And what curise were you going on that cost 4000? Or were you brinning 2-3 other people?

That is not right.

But since she has done this before you have to blame yourself as well. And don't trust her when she offers something just say thank you and go on without it. Then you won't be sitting in this spot.

Answer 10

ok..well first off if she has done this in the past then why havent you leanred not to rely on her promises before now?..especially with such a big event.....what she has done is horrible but you have to admit some fault for putting this day in someone elses hands who in the past is not reliable.....

for now i would try to change your plans and the better you handle it the more it will hurt her..more then harsh words or not seeing her at all...be mature and for now concentrate on regrouping and getting your day planned first and foremost..

second of all keep in mind with the divorce going on it was prob a really hard call to you for her to even make...have you ever thought it was him saying yes to these things then not following through so she was also disappointed...i would try to find out more of the story before you judge..take from this a life lesson you wont soon repeat...and congrats on your wedding and no matter where it is held i wish you happiness

Answer 11

I'm sorry you have such a flaky sister....just don't take anything she Say's or promises to heart. Just always keep in mind when making plans w/her or anytime she makes a promise that it's tentative until it actually happens.As far as her being a bridesmaid I would just tell her you're very sorry but you have to know that you pick people you can depend on and her actions show she is undependable.....Good luck!