My MOH has turned into a total b#tch and I don't know why. I've not been demanding AT ALL on any bridesmaids. She got irritated when I said I wasn't going to use programs at my wedding (don't know why). Met her up to shop, and she left after 15 minutes saying "I dont feel like shopping, I can't find anything". Told me that she couldn't make it to the rehearsal dinner because of some BS reason. Spent a conversation telling me how she is so smart, has a photographic memory (uh huh), and brags about how much money she and her husband have to spend. Stood me up another time we were supposed to meet. Craps on my ideas even though it has nothing to do with her at all. Overall she's been very negative, and I've come to learn that she is a friend "of convenience" ...she's only nice to me when she wants something. Unfortunately it took my wedding planning to see this. I'm 99% sure I don't want to save the friendship. Wedding is too close. Can I phase her out right away?
2007-10-26 05:59:24 · 20 answers · asked by High Fructose Corn Syrup 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh and yes I've confronted her nicely about her attitude. She says "nothing" is wrong, and she is "fine". But there's been a huge change in her attitude towards me and it's obvious.
2007-10-26 06:00:01 · update #1
If she's acting like this now I doubt she'll be clamoring for your attention post wedding so you may not have to do a whole lot of phasing out. More than likely she's upset you are in the spotlight which is why she's always bragging. If you get engrossed in the newlywed stage she won't be a priority anyway so she just won't be one of the people you reconnect with after the high wears off.
2007-10-26 06:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
How awful to find out about this "friendship" so close to the wedding. I've had friends like that and it's very hurtful. You do not need someone like that sucking your energy away. Do not allow her to take anything more away.
Sounds to me that she was mad about the programs because she won't see her name in print. It's not about her and she is being passive aggressive and trying to spoil it for you. So sad.
I'm glad you took the time to talk to her once. Perhaps you need to have one more conversation in regards to the wedding. This may be one of the times you have to be a "bridezilla".
Let her know how you feel about her attitude in a polite, but firm way. Tell her that you need her to be there for the rehearsal dinner and to support you, and she has not done that. Perhaps she no longer wants the role, but doesn't want to say so?
The rehearsal is pretty important for her to be at since there are things she needs to do and know where to go. Tell her that if she is still not able to be there and live up to her responsibility, then you will have to have another of your attendants be MOH and she can simply stand up with you. That way she is not out the money for the dress and you can have someone in the role that will actually be there for you.
Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
2007-10-26 14:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? This is your wedding we're talking about... hopefully "THE" only one you'll ever have! It's supposed to be P_E_R_F_E_C_T!!!! Stop wasting your time on that *****. This is YOUR day, YOUR decisions are the only ones that count or matter. A maid of "honour" is supposed to be someone that is very special in Your life, ie; sister, best -friend etc. If this girl doesn't measure up, GET RID OF HER IMMEDIATELY! Why waste your time on someone that doesn't matter and will be involved in THe MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE???? She's going to be in your pictures and everything....duh! Traditionally the maid of honour is also asked to be your first borns "GODPARENT"
Find another person that is SPECIAL and MEANS something in your life to have that "HONOUR" no matter how close to that day you are. Why take the chance that she will make your day any less pleasant and special than it should be?
2007-10-26 13:18:43 · answer #3 · answered by eva 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yeah after the wedding just do what she does. Come up w/ BS excuses for why you can't hang out or say "I don't feel like it" when she asks you to join her for something.
I don't know if I'd want her in my wedding at all now though. She doesn't even support you, why does she get to have the honor?
2007-10-26 13:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
this woman sounds completely bitter about your wedding- maybe because your relationship is good and hers is not. She will only make your wedding day as miserable as the recent past you described. Tell her she's no longer in the wedding party and not invited to the wedding. If she has paid for a dress, reimburse her. That'll shut her up.
2007-10-26 14:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Surely you can find someone else to step into the role of MOH before the wedding. Faze her out now!!
Do you really want to always look back and see her standing next to you in all your wedding photos?
2007-10-26 13:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Celtic-Candy 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Phase her out now. She hasn't been a part of the event anyway. Tell her that you can tell that she is unhappy about being in the wedding and that she is welcome to come as a guest but that you are not going to hold her in a position that she is not willing to be happy to be in. Tell her that you are not mad at her but you cannot have someone dogging every idea you put out, it is afterall, your day.
2007-10-26 18:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by country girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with the others, especially on the picture fact. Every time you look at your wedding photos you will cringe. I would let your next in line bridesmaid know that she has been promoted to MOH... Good luck!
2007-10-26 13:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by Kit 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, why would you even want her having that title for any longer?? Why would you want her in important pics of that day? Phase her out now hun, it'll only save aggrevation later. I'd just tell her straight out bluntly that you're not happy with her attitude and she's not fufilling the role of MoH!
2007-10-26 13:06:55 · answer #9 · answered by chaychayolei 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If she's that bad just ask her to step down. Bump up a brides maid to maid of honor and get another friend if it's enough time and you need another body to make it even. If she's out some money offer to repay her.
Ever think she may be jealous of you, that's what it sounds like.
2007-10-26 13:28:59 · answer #10 · answered by tetlitea 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋