Why do stay at home mom's say it's the hardest job in the world?

Question

I am married, I have a 5 year old, and a 10 month old, both boys. I was in college when I had my 5 year old, I went back to school, worked, and took care of my child all alone. Then when I got married I worked a full time job, had another baby, took care of home, my kids and my husband. Now my husband is in Iraq, and I was still working a full time job and taking care of home and the kids, well now I have resigned from my position at work and this was my first week as a stay at home mom, well I love it! This is so easy, my life is stress free! I just don't understand why stay at home mom's says this is a hard thing to do. What was hard was getting up at 6am, getting myself and 2 kids ready, taking the kids to daycare and school working 8 hours a day, picking the kids up, cooking, cleaning, giving baths, reading stories, and getting ready for the next day. Why do stay at home mom's say this is Hard??? Real world experiences please.

Now, for those of you who are judging me for asking this question, I didn't give all the details...When my 5 year old was born I dropped out of college and stayed at home with him for a year, then I went back to college full time and worked and graduated with my B.S....now from July until October this year, I worked full time, took care of home and the kids, and I'm in graduate school working on my MBA, so for you to say I have never been a stay at home mom and reality hasn't sunken in yet is totally wrong. I have been a stay at home mom before and I know how it is, and it was easy for me then too like it's easy for me now, so don't judge, just answer the question nicely as possible.

Answer 1

For me personally, I was more stressed staying home with 2 boys, who were 14 months apart, than going to work 8 hours at a job. That doesn't mean I don't love my boys any less. I believe that there are some moms that were made to stay at home with their children and some who weren't.

Answer 2

You chose to work while your husband was in Iraq, which I know for a fact the money is great and you wouldn't have needed to. Maybe some Moms want to stay home with there children while they're young and once they go to school, then get a job. Exactly what I am wanting to do. It is hard and some people can't afford daycare ($800 for my 2) a month so they have no choice BUT to stay home. You only have 1 to watch anyway cause the 5 year old should be in Kindergarten. Since you only have one and no husband there to please it should seem pretty easy to you. A job is no way compared to staying at home. You work a 40 hr week full time, being a Mom is 24/7 job and you get no sick days, vacation etc. Not until their older and can care for themselves more.

Answer 3

My first thought was that apparently you are not a stay at home Mom. But I see that my thought were wrong. Your life was very exciting and very active. No time to think and worry about things as to what should be done or proper. No dull time or bored with repetition. Aside from this you didn't miss much. Just a very special person, apparently. May your husband come home safe and soon. But to answer your question stay at home Moms take on so many tasks that are of assistance to family members. You get to go to a place that keeps you busy for eight hours that is not structured to keep you going for that eight hours. A stay at home Mom is constantly on the clock having to be here or there time is of the essence. Rush , rush, rush and out of love and caring they give their all but lets face it when something is not of interest to ourselves the time spent is taxing. I am sure you can relate when you attend a meeting that really has nothing to do with the job you do at your work. Enough said. Hope this helps you to understand. If not at least you have that piece of paper at the end of the week that they don't have.

Answer 4

First off, I applaud you for being able to do all the things that you did, and my prayers are with your husband over in Iraq.

I am a stay at home mother I have raised three now adult children and now am raising our 8 year old adopted daughter.

To me what makes stay at home mom's jobs hard is your on duty doing the same job 24/7 not a 9-5 the same cooking and cleaning and being totally responsible for everything without time off, Some don't see anything outside the 4 walls of their home for weeks, But not me I also volunteer at my child's school 10 hours a week, then I babysit for my adult kids children. What I think most upsets stay at home parents is when working people think that they are lazy and just complain, but Stay at home parents do allot and they keep the home front running smooth, I tell people when they ask me if I work, I say Yes, when they ask what I do, I tell them I am a Family Manager. Not all children and households are good and smooth running so I feel some stay at home parents may have it harder then others.

Answer 5

You will see first hand when the novelty wears off. You do not have adult contact, soon you lose yourself in the world of cartoon drama, and diapers. Although one child is in school, the other is still at home and will be for quite some time. You will slowly slip from being employee, wife, mother, and who you are (you as an individual woman) into wife and mother, but mostly mom, because you're husband is away. It doesn't happen immediately, but it does happen. It gets better as your children get older and are in school. Just try to remember who you are, or were, so that when it comes time to to be her again, you will be able to remember.

PS I am not a stay at home mom, but I am on the clock 24 hrs a day, my bosses (even though I run my own business) are 4 and 5 yr old boys!

Answer 6

Ok I will tell you EXACTLY why stay at home moms say it is a full time job.

Some women put thier all into everything they do, whether it is working outside the home or inside.

You might not realize it, but by you working, you can't give 100% to everything. It is split up between work, kids, cooking, cleaning, husband. Stay at home moms can focus more on one thing and give more devotion and attention to their family. Some women have different priorites than you. So please don't say "real world experience." You chose your life to be split up between a bunch of different jobs. Other women chose their own paths.

Now that you are staying at home, put yourself in another woman's shoes. Tomorrow wake up at 6 am, start cleaning, strip all the bed sheets in the house, clean behind all the couches, inside cabinets, behind the tv, etc. Make sure breakfast is made for your family, run all the errands, make sure finances are in order, cook a healthy and well planned dinner, and then come back and tell us how it went.

Answer 7

I agree with both of the 1st two answers. It's not hard the 1st week, but wait about 5 years and see how you feel. I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost 13 years now. I wouldn't trade that time with my kids for anything, but it's hard. It's not the physical work that makes it rough. It's the feeling that because you aren't getting paid, then you aren't making an equal contribution. It's the fact that as adults we feel validated by what we do...and unfortunately, staying at home is looked at as lazy. I work hard...and I know my kids. I've never expected anyone else to raise them, but that doesn't mean that my choice is easy. I also have to control spending so I am able to keep staying home. Now, with a child that is about to become a teenager, it doesn't make the most sense to him that what I am giving him is my time as opposed to things....which I may be able to provide more of if I were working. However, they aren't suffering any, but we are ruled by a society that believes the more you have, the better you are. Ah well, I think I'm going off the subject a little bit, but you get my point. Staying at home is hard, and I commend you for making that choice.

Answer 8

I think it's hard because it's not a job you get a break from. You can't go home at the end of the day, no weekends off, and no vacations. Except for the occasional sleepover at grandparents (if you're lucky enough to get that), you're at work and on call 24-7.
I agree that it is the absolute best job in the world, but it is a lot of work.

Answer 9

Give it some time.. I worked full time for 4.5 years with kids and ran the house.. I was so excited to finally be able to quit my job stay home with the kids when our most recent baby was born.. It seemed easy at first.. but wore me out after a few months.. I am grateful to be able to stay home.. but 8 hours of office work and adult conversation was much easier.

Answer 10

being a stay at home mom is a 24hour job, you dont get to punch out and go do what you want. i dont beleive its that hardest, but i think it can be hard and sometimes i miss my freedom to be honest. somedays in the morning when my husband is getting up for work i feel bad cuz i can still sleep a little longer andi dont have to go stand on my feet and manage a store like he does, but i know how important my job is at home. but then sometimes when he gets home he may lay down or say he is gonna go here or work outside on his car or go help so and so do this. he has more freedom than i.
and when most woman are the stay at home mom they get little help from the man cuz we already worked his shift and she can be expect t handle eerything at home which can be very overwhelming.
i have a 14 month old and another due in 5 weeks and sometimes it scares me, but i still love being a mom. i know its gonna be more challenging when the new baby is here. but sometimes i wish i can just punch out and do whatever i feel. that doesnt make me a bad person. its hard when i call my friends and they dont have children and they are going here and there and if i wannt go its such a challenge to fiugre out how thats possible.
anyways, staying at home takng care of your kids is hard, but its also a joy and even thou sometimes i miss my freedom i wouldnt take back being a mom for anything :-)