Father/Daughter dance without father????

Question

I asked this question a little earlier, but didn't realize I put it in the FAMILY section. Sorry....


I'm getting married next year and the only thing that I am stressing about is the "Father/Daughter" dance. I haven't seen my father is over 10 years and don't plan on ever seeing him again. My question is, for the Father/Daughter dance, what do I do? I have talked to my fiance about this and he says to ask his father if he would dance with me. The only thing about this is that I feel it would be stepping on his sister's toes. That is her father and not mine. I don't have any other male figure in my life. Any suggestions???

Thank you for all of your answers. I do want to have the dance included. My mother is giving me away. I know that she would feel very ackward dancing with me so I don't want to put that on her.

Answer 1

A very good friend of mine danced with her mother instead. She figured since her mom supported her and her siblings the honor should go to her mom.

Answer 2

First off let me just say that you are not alone. I was in that same boat. I am getting married in May 2008 and me and my father have not spoken to or seen each other in over 11 years. However, that is by his choice. I actually decided to have my uncle give me away......and as far as the father/daughter dance it will be my uncle and I. I think that you have a option you don't necessarily have to have a father/daughter dance at all. On the other hand if you had a male figure in your life that has been very supportive and/or someone you thought highly of. That person could be a cousin, brother, best male friend, and even uncle. Whatever you decision is just remember this is your special day and it is all about you and want you want. I wish you the very best and be happy......Good Luck and Congratulations!!!!

Answer 3

Hmmmm. Is it absolutely a must that this tradition is included? Who is walking you down the aisle, or are you doing this alone?

I have imagined my daughter's wedding. Her bio dad is in and out of the picture, and I would have a hard time "holding my peace" if he were the one to do the honors of giving her away (or dancing with her, except we are Baptists, so I imagine we will skip that part anyway). However, I can see how it would also cause resentment and hurt to her father, her paternal grandparents and others if she asked my husband her step-dad to do this. We have discussed it at times, and I think when the day finally comes she either plans to have a destination wedding and separate receptions for various "factions" of the family to avoid tension, OR will ask her older brother to escort her.

Do you have a male cousin, uncle, or anyone like that even if you weren't that close? Perhaps someone related to your mom as an homage to her if she has "been there" for you?

If none of those suggestions fits, I think if I were you, I'd just skip it and go straight to the bride & groom dance and then maybe allow his mom to cut in with you guys and you dance with his dad, and do it in that sequence instead.

Answer 4

If you are close to his father and would otherwise take his advise and ask him if it were not for his sister, then talk to his sister about it....tell her you feel very close to the family and feel honored to be a part of it soon, but want to be sure that you don't step on her toes.

You technically don't have to have a father daughter dance, but you could dance with ANY male figure if you choose to do so! Do you have a close male friend....possible the best man even?

Answer 5

You don't have to have Father/Daughter dance at all. You can have a Daughter/Mother dance or make it a dance with someone who was a significant part of your life male or female. It's your wedding and you can do what you want. Congratulations by the way and good luck!

Answer 6

I did answer this earlier and still stand by that answer. Hope you find one that is helpful. Sorry just saw that my response isn't there. Anyway what I suggested was that you speak with your future sister in law and see if she would indeed be offended, she may be honoured that you'd want to dance with her dad. You could also ask your father in law to be and I'm sure that he would be honoured also. There are many brides now a days that share this special dance with their mom's as they grew up in single parent families and mom had to play both roles. Also if you have any brothers, future brother in laws, or other family members that you are close with (IE: uncles, cousins) you could choose to dance with them. What might be nice if you had your special dance with your future father in law. Then you husband have his mother/.son dance with his mom. Then the four of you remain on the dance floor and have a dance all together and change up partners half way through. Best of luck and happy marriage.

Answer 7

Of course, ask your future father-in-law to dance with you! I bet he would be delighted! Besides, by the time you two dance, he will be your father-in-law. Why should your new sister-in-law be bothered? Obviously your Fiance doesn't think it's a problem, so why should you? If you really have doubts just talk to her. Tell her that you would like to ask her something in confidence. She'll tell you how she feels. Then you can have the pleasure of asking him yourself. Frankly, the only toes I see being stepped on will be yours or his, depending on how good dancers you two are. Congrats and many blessings.

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with asking him.
My father had died two years before my wedding, and I had my older brother dance with me. It wasn't a great choice, I should have chosen a brother in law, but overall since my husband's mom wasn't there, we should have just done away with this specific dance altogether!
And about dancing with your mom -- after about an hour of our wedding dance, my mom DID come and get me for a dance, and it was really cool. Now, note, this was my very conservative, older mother - so it surprised me! It was nice and relaxing and gave us a great chance to talk -- and the picture of us is priceless!!!
Good luck.

Answer 9

I'd say 'is this really necessary?' If it's a traditional affair, then who is giving you away? If your father is doing that, then I reckon you can manage to dance with him.

If no 'giving away' is taking place, then speak to your sister-in-law to be (it's her father, but your wedding) and see if a dance with your father-in-law is fine (and you may wanna check with him, too). If not, then why not dance with your mother? Show the importance of that female figure in your life.

Answer 10

well... maybe you should ask your fiance's sister if she wouldn't mind, if she says it's ok, then you can ask your fiance's dad ;3
but if it doesn't work, you can just skip the dance - it's not THAT important, is it? The wedding is supposed to be *fun*, the beginning of something new and (supposedly :P) awesome, don't make it stressful just because one thing like that! As some previous comment said - most won't even notice ;))
anyway, good luck ;D

Answer 11

Wow! Is this me? I had the same issue. I just did not have a father/daughter dance. We had the bride/groom and groom/mother and that was it. Plus I think people at the reception appreciated that. I hate sitting at receptions waiting for all the traditional dances to be over. It is usually very boring for everyone else.