The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
2007-10-26 04:51:21 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!
- RIMSHOT ( badoom - psshhhh )
Okay, who's next ?
2007-10-26 04:52:10 · update #1
Too Little, Too Late
A guy is at the Pearly Gates, hoping to be admitted, and St. Peter says to the guy, "I can't see that you did anything really good in your life, but you never did anything bad either. I tell you what, if you can tell me one really good deed that you did, you're in."
So the guy says, "Once I was driving down the road and saw a gang of bikers assaulting this poor girl. So I pulled over, got out my car, grabbed a tire iron and walked straight up to the gang's leader--a huge ugly guy with a studded leather jacket, bald head but with hair all over his body, and a chain running from his nose to his ear.
Undaunted, I ripped the chain out of his nose and ear and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and, wielding my tire iron, yelled to the rest of them, 'You leave this poor, innocent lady alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
Impressed, St. Peter says, "Really? I can't seem to find this in your file. When did this happen?"
"Oh, about two minutes ago."
2007-10-26 05:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by TigerLily 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A sense of humor regarding religion is fine. What is not good is making assaults that are disguised as humor. I'm very often reminded of racist "jokes" when I see what some like to pawn off as "humor" in regard to religion.
2016-04-10 07:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Father Flaherty was conducting Stations of the Cross.
Verger:"Pssst. Fah-ther, His Eminence is on the 'phone for ya"
Fr. Flaherty:"Here,take the book, but whatever you do ---keep the service going until I get back"
After being shockingly dressed down by His Eminence over the 'phone, Fr. Flaherty went over to the rectory to recover.
Suddenly-----"OH NO! I forgot about the verger and Stations of the Cross!"
Running back to the Church, he saw the lights still on.
Cautiously opening the door a crack, he heard the verger's voice:
"Eighty Seventh Station, Pontius Pilate slays the Blessed Virgin Mary..."
2007-10-26 06:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by fr.peter 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Funny! Here's mine:
Jack was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Jack looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."
2007-10-26 05:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by t_rex_is_mad 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that was mildly amusing.
I'd give it a 4/10 on the humour scale, but I'll make it a 6/10 because it is a good effort for a Catholic.
Now the real challenge is whether you can make a joke that is actually CRITICAL of your own beliefs.... [though, being a joke, you don't have to be serious about it].
2007-10-26 04:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by Lucid Interrogator 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
nothing wrong with that. I believe God has a sense of humor. Very funny joke btw. I have one! There was a movie being filmed in Boston and the Catholic church allowed the filmmakers to use the church for dressing and etc. But they reneged on their deal because in the movie was a pizza shop named JESUS CRUST ( I thought it was funny) true story btw!
2007-10-26 04:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by mariposa 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No, humor is necessary to deal with those who are 'baptized in lemon juice" and are just bitter in their religiosity or irreligiosity.
Of course,cowards often cloak their bigotries and hatreds under 'humor".
2007-10-26 11:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by James O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like this joke and I have heard it told using the leaders of many different religions as the driver.
2007-10-26 04:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by Nora Explora 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Q: What is the only meat a priest can eat on Friday?
A: Nun!
2007-10-28 21:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by Stinky Badger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was kind of a long way to go for the payoff, but right on.
Have you hear the one about why Jesus can't tread water? Too soon?
2007-10-26 04:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋