my boyfriend, roommates and I were drinking....we all passed out and when I woke up my boyfriend was having sex with me....I was drunk and kinda pretended to sleep more, but was really awake. I would turn over and stuff and he would still go at it. Finally I woke up woke up.... Pretended I was cold to cover up and he got really really mad.... I sat up and was like what are you doing... he's like it's me it's me... and I started crying. then made him sleep on the floor. I am REALLY scared and don't know what to do.
2007-10-26 04:21:06 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i pushed him off before he could finish... it's just the thought of what he was doing when I was unconscious... and i don't know if he's done it before??? I know i'm not pregnant.
2007-10-26 04:29:29 · update #1
we've been dating for almost 2 years, and have sex many times....
2007-10-26 04:32:39 · update #2
That's rape. You need to report it.
2007-10-26 04:25:22 · answer #1 · answered by G.V. 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
okay, so a lot of people are seeing this as black or white, which it isn't. i've been in two similar situations, myself.
one was everything minus the history/bf part (def rape, no doubt about that! and very very traumatizing. it made me lay off the drinking a bit, so i'd never 'pass out' again--which is actually a sign of a drinking problem, btw, but that's moot).
the other was with my current husband, minus the drinking part. we'd been together about 2 yrs as well. i'm a heavy sleeper, esp when i feel safe. well, he basically did the same thing. only, he was sleeping too (sounds weird, but he does all sorts of things when he sleeps)...
so, i know what it feels like to have someone that you would normally consent to, basically take advantage of you... it still feels cruddy!! like being used. it's not your fault, you were asleep minding your own business. he was in the wrong.
NOW, you have to decide *how* wrong. and take his state of mind into consideration as well. he was drunk too. he made a mistake & hurt you. how bad of a mistake was it? did he continue after you said to stop? from what i can tell, he didn't. maybe he just wrongly assumed it was okay because he was using bad judgement & you two had been intimate so many times before. i think the two of you need to have a big talk about this. while i think it could technically be seen as rape, would you *want* to press charges against him?? even if you did, nothing would come of it due to the history & the drinking, and the fact that when you said stop, he did...
but feel free to email me, if you need to talk more.
i know the situation, and i know it feels cruddy.
2007-10-26 13:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ember Halo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Edited on reading the additional details. Well, in future don't drink so much if you can't trust yourself or your boyfriend. Alcohol does that - basically makes you stupid. I'm not entirely sure what you're scared of, though - if you've already been having sex, and have been gong out with this guy for 2 years, and you know you're not pregnant, how has this changed things?
2007-10-26 11:54:03 · answer #3 · answered by John R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's right that he just went ahead and did his thing without your consent. I think you should go to the police. The boy overstepped his bounds. Regardless, if you both have had sex in the past, the boy has to learn that it's not ok to just do whatever he wants to someone else's body.
Stand up for yourself and don't let him get away with it. He might scare some other girls the same way. And, if he thinks he can get away with it now, there's a good chance he'll do worse later. Please defend yourself, stand up like a strong, classy lady and yell "I'm not going to take it." and look for those people who will back you. You have many friends.
2007-10-26 11:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by barchanon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What are you scared of? If it's his attitude, then you have every right to be scared, he is not very pleasant. If it's the fear of pregnancy, you should see your doctor as soon as possible. If it was unprotected sex, you should go to your G.I. clinic and get checked out. I suppose the lesson is 'don't get drunk'. Hope everything works out well for you.
2007-10-26 11:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by resignedtolife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had the two of you been having sex before that, meaning before that night? I mean you were in bed with him naked...it was just a sexy way to wake you up was probably what he was thinking. My b/f does that and it doesn't bother me but I don't know if it was something you guys had been doing on a regular basis or was it the first time...that would be rape!
2007-10-26 11:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Now you know better. It's over and done with, now keep your head on and find out if you're pregnant. If you're old enough to drink. you're old enough to make your own decisions, and face the consequences like an adult
2007-10-26 11:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by just in case 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey! Take an emergency pill immediately. NOW. Get a HIV test done NOW. Check for pregnancy NOW. Consult a sexologist AND a gynac if needed. Fast!
2007-10-26 11:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by Drools over home made food 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
uhmmm well you say you kinda pretended to be sleeping and was really awake...it you dint want it to happen you would have pushed him away and stopped it. In my opinion you werent really scared because u knew wht was going on and you didnt stop it. Now maybe what your scared of is getting pregnant!
2007-10-26 11:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by txladybug_2 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Grow up! You knew what you were doing when you started drinking. You knew what you were doing when you got naked. Now you want to go and scream rape? You are going to try to accuse him of something that will ruin both your lives? Grow up. Be accountable for your own actions. Women like you make true victims of rape less credible because of your false complaints and bullsh*t.
2007-10-26 11:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by CmP 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
THAT is very very bad
unless you gave him permission to have sex with you when you are passed out drunk , you should just leave him
2007-10-26 11:25:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋