i'm confused. plz help?

Question

i'm a 16 yr old girl. i have a bro who is 2 yrs elder 2 me. the prblm is tht i feel jealous of my bro sometimes. he's simply perfect in all matters. he's good lookin while i'm fat due 2 hormonal prblem. he's a 90 % scorer while i'm an average student wth around 70%. he'a a genius in mth and science whereas i'm completely a dunce in those subjects. he's witty, humorous, stylish and has loads of g.k while i'm usually shy,scared to speak out, with hardly any gk. i'm constantly compared with him at home. i'm unable 2 bring myself up 2 his level no matter how much i try. i feel very angry and insulted when ppl compare me wth him. my bro also keeps teasing me bout my weak academic performance and though i know tht he does it in good sense and means no harm, it hurts me. no one has confidence tht i can fulfill my career goals. i love my brother a lot but i dont know why i feel so angry, dejected and jealous. i'm unable 2 sort my feelings. am i a bad sister 2 feel jealous of my bro???plz help

its not that i'm not trying. despite my best efforts i'm unable to cope up. i feel overwhelmed with contrasting emotions- jealousy, fear that i'm useless and will never b 'something worthwhile' in life, hatred and aversion to myself, senseless anger, depression, loneliness, resentment, and my deep love for my bro and family

its not that i'm not paying attention to my studies. i'm all ears in class and simply slog at home over my books. still i dont have the what it takes to score above 70%-75%.forget bout 90%.despite my best efforts at studies i'm unable 2 do it

Answer 1

It's completely normal to be a little jealous. Especially since at your age ppl are going to compare you a lot.

Don't hate him for doing the best he can, tho. He's just trying as hard as you are to fulfill his dreams. He's prolly insecure as well, about some things.

If you really want to shine - do the things you enjoy doing or are good at. Your grade score really won't matter 10 years down the road. Continue to do your best, make sure you have several classes you really enjoy, to make up for the ones you don't like.

Oh, and remember - he has 2 years on you.....and a completely different personality.

You said you had a hormonal problem - get that under control as best as you can. It prolly won't level out until you're all the way thru puberty, but you can talk to your doctor about the best way for you to keep it under control to keep your weight down. Make sure your getting regular check ups.

Ask your brother and family members to stop comparing the two of you. Tell them that you are trying very hard, and that you would appreciate it if they acknowledged all the work you put in.

And - Work on your goals! Do what makes you happy!! the more confident you are, the more people will stop comparing you. Shine at something totally different than what he does - and they can't compare it.

If you're still having problems, and can't figure out what to do (especially since you mentioned you were shy), print out this message, and give to either your parents, or a high school counselor. At least it will open the door.

Good luck sweetie, You really can do this!

Answer 2

Hi hon.

You really need to consider taking this up with your family. maybe ask them if they could take the time to listen. Tell them how you FEEL.. "I feel ________ because i'm always being compared".

You are an individual and you are not like your brother... no brother and sister are alike, really.

I see you are having problems, and it's because you have been taught and/or conditioned to compare youreself with your brother. It's not necessary hon.

Be YOU.. you are unique and i'm sure you have wonderful qualities and talents.

The website i have posted below has a lot of great information and helpful advice for teens on many subjects. I hope it's of some help to you.

You might also consider talking with your school counselor. Let him or her know how you're feeling too. Maybe they would have some sound advice for you. hugs

Answer 3

You will never be your brother. You can only be you.
Please try and find what you love to do and you will excel.
Do the best YOU can do and that should be enough.
Later on in life this should subside IF you pursue and do well in the things you enjoy. Be good at what you are good at not what others unrightfully expect.
Let your brother know he hurts you and be happy for his success.
I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. 16 is a difficult age but things get better if you make the right decisions. Like not getting pregnant or contracting a social disease.

Answer 4

You and your brother are different people. Be the best YOU that you can be.

It's okay to admire him for his strengths, but you have strengths, too, and you may not have uncovered them yet. Stop comparing yourself to him or anyone else, and don't let others do that either. Politely tell them, "Yes, I do have a wonderful, talented brother, but we're very different people. He's got a two-year head start on me, but right now, I'm working on being the best person I can be. Don't worry about me! I plan on succeeding in other areas."

Do the best you can in each situation you face, try new things and learn what it is that you have an aptitude for. You can eventually be known and appreciated for things that your brother isn't!

Answer 5

the thing is that u want to be in the category of your brother.it is normal but u can live above it.try taking a good look at yourself;look without bias and u will see that u are not as bad as u think. u are not a bad sis. if u can talk 2 him more often and try to enjoy his company .
u will feel better if u can love urself the way u are.live ur life as it is destined. u are a niceperson, all u need is to appreciate urself.

Answer 6

Eat right (salads, 100 calorie packs) and exercise like mad hell (run, walk, jog, pushups..)

Pay attention and study hard in class

Get a job so you can pay for college if you don't think you can get a scholarship somehow. Of course theres student aid as well.

Don't try to do things over his ability, do things that might slightly make him feel threatened, or maybe for once not like he's the good kid of the two.

Just stop slacking..

Answer 7

First of all you need to stop comparing yourself with him. It doesn't matter how hes doing academically just that your trying your best. and about everyone else comparing you: if its your parents that are comparing you to him there probably just doing it for you. they probably feel if they create competition you'll do better. AND if other people are comparing you such as teachers and family friends then just ignore them its you who knows how well your doing not them. All that matters is that your happy with who and what you are not everyone. Heres advise i was given stay happy no matter what forget about everyone else it doesn't matter if your happy with who you are.

Answer 8

develop your skills then use them to improve yourself. Take their insults as a challenge. give attention to your studies and once you have proven yourself to your family, they will begin to respect and love you. Don't be jealous with your siblings. show your worth, then you'll soon see, everything will be ok with you and brother.

Answer 9

everybody is good in his or her own way. im also jealous of friends i have, but as soon as i think that i try to convince myself that that is not the way to be. it is normal for you to be jealous. dont worry. you have your qualities and he has his.
hope i helped :)

Answer 10

you have the right to feel as you do it's natural among brothers and sisters, you gotta live your life your way be your own person, do as well as you can, be proud of who you are!!!!!