Relationship Advice.. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 months now. In the beginning when we met we both agreed that we found our soul mates, true love and the one we would marry. For the past 5 days she has become distant all of a su. Intially she told me just to give her a little space.(Not cheating) She just claimed to just want some alone time with herself to preserve her identity as a independant women. Last night we spoke and she is now telling me she does not know what is wrong with her and it is bothering her that I am hurting cause of her recent behavior. She stated that she feels resentful in a way becaue i may have smnothered her. She continusoulsy states that she is not breaking up with me or plans to and loves me.. She has started a new birthcontrol (ortho trcycline). I feel it may be that, because 5 days of her taking it this all began. Basically i am looking for some help as to understanding why she has pushed back when everything was great. Any advice would be great. Thank

Answer 1

ITS DEFINATELY THE BIRTHCONTROL

For one thing, I am not sure of your situation, but you seem a bit desparate, and clingy,

Give the girl some space, time to miss you,

Second, hormones are rising from the birthcontrol and it can make you emotional,
It could be guilt from Sex, and maybe she can't tell you,
( I don't know your age but i am guessing your young, as you seem to think 2 months is a long time, aswell as 5 days)

third thing, Smothering, YOU ARE
Stop and maybe she will start to like you again, because its really hard to dream romantic dreams about someone when they are always throwing reality into the mix, and constantly calling and stopping by,

Girls like romance, and surprises,
we like to talk to our Girlfriends about our Man, and speculate,
we want to be able to call him, instead of him calling us all the time,
we want space to get our nails done, sleep late on the weekends, and hang with the Gals, gossiping about or romances and pretending he is prince charming,

It may sound goofy, but its the truth, we do this even as adults

So i suggest just pretend everything is OK and call he only once every other day, anything more is OBSESSIVE and controlling.

If she doesn't pick up the phone leave her a simple message like
Miss you baby , and just wanted to say HI.

and DO NOT CALL BACK,

thats the whole point of space,
give her time to think about stuff, and miss your good qualities

this way she can say to herself,
HMmm, I know everyone says Tom is OBSESSED with me, but maybe they are wrong,

So first step, Leave her be,
second, leave her be,
3rd give the BC pills time to work into her system, and let er become accustomed to them, there is an adjustment period

4th, DON"T plan your whole life, let HER have a say so in the planning aswell, everything doesn't have to be so serious, be loose about it, and chill out and relax, and let life evolve, everthing doesn't have to be PLANNED, and rushed into,
scheduled, and forced,

I know you can't help it cause you want to be with her and your excited, but you need play it kewl, and give her a chance to love you back, how can she do this if your always pushing your dreams and desires ,

true love, real love is caring for a person So much that YOUR own wants and needs matter less to you than theirs.

Give her a chance she might just surprise you.

Meg

Answer 2

Dude, ah... same mistake different person... my mistake too about 4 weeks ago... when my gf and I broke up... My ex still talks to me and says the same thing... that she doesn't want to hurt me with what she's doing but she knows she is so she feels guilty... and that she loves me.... I did what you did... you can confess true love early but not that you're going to marry her... she might feel the same way but not be prepared for it... you did this after only 2 months... I was with mine for 8 before all that... you need to give her space... be there for her and comfort her and call her but don't say stuff like "You're the one" or "I still know we'll end up getting married" etc. because you are smothering her... this has nothing to do with birth control... she's probably young and intimidated by the thought of a life long relationship.... it doesn't mean she doesn't love you... things between my ex and I are getting better and she says that pretty soon she'll be ready to come back to me... but all I've done is reassure her than I'm there for her and that I love her... don't pressure her... she's probably to independent and unprepared to go from free independent girl to the Mrs.... good luck with this bro and God bless

Answer 3

It may be the medicine, but then again she maybe wanting a little space. Someone may have said something or she saw some guy all over his girlfriend and thought, "Is that what we look like?" It could be a number of things, men can't understand women. But I do know they work on a completely different emotional level that it doesn't take much to trigger.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Starting new birth control can result in change of hormones. I think that she is being honest when she states she needs some "alone time". Hell, don't we all? Just give her the requested space until things are back to normal. Birth control can give a woman mood swings so just be patient with her. In the end, things will be better for the both of you.

Just stick by her side through it all...she really needs to know you will still be there for her. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Wow amazing as it sounds to be so in love at only 2 months of being with her but I guess...Anyways yeah birth control is a hormone and can cause many side effect I wouldn't read to much into it just give her, her space and when the birth control kicks in she'll be back to her old self again,And if it changes her completely then "GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN" I am a woman I know these things I was crazy once myself you know lol.Good luck buddy.

Answer 6

Maybe she's just not that into you anymore, maybe it is the birth control. It's hard to tell.

Reality is, we can't really fall in love with someone in 8 weeks. We can love many things about them, but falling in love is a process.

If you are smothering her, back off. We all need alone time, and time to ourselves. Attaching yourself to someone else's hip and spending 100% of your free time together, can be unhealthy. When we are in a relationship, we can't cut off all of our other activities and friendships. There is a healthy balance to life, even when we have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Perhaps give her space to do things she enjoys without you. And you need to do the same.

take care.

Answer 7

Ortho Tricycline should not make her do that. Some stronger bithcontrol (ex. shots or patch) may change behaviour but not the pills. It honestly sounds like the way I used to act when I was geting tired of someone. It sounds like there maybe another possibility for her that she is just nnot sure about yet. Like she wants to keep you hanging on incase the other possibility does not work out.

Answer 8

Oy, here's a problem for the Talmudic scholar! I don't know if you need a Rabbi, a gynecologist, a shrink or an exorcist....

The last time my old lady told me she needed a little space, she took my house (and my lawyer too--the meshuggeneh bastard!---)

I never liked my lady being distant, unless she was like in Moscow and me in San Tropez watching all the naked chicks on the beach...and so had like a good excuse....

But then you might be like a Jewish mother-in-law and smother the poor moid half to death. Ever heard that nice English fellow John Donne. He wrote, "If you love something let it go. If it returns to you, it's yours. If not, kill it and find another...."

Do the ladies sometimes act weird when using birth control? You better believe it, meiner junge pisher! Mine really went all to pot esp. when the verdamnt pills didn't work resulting in her running off with my attorney (mentioned above) and leaving me with my liebchen Mamika.....

I hear now from the rumor-mill that my "Soul Mate" is now living in Rome, had an abortion and changed her name to Alotta, converted to Catholicism, and had our marriage anulled or something like that....

Next time you see some chick and say, "Hey, thatsa my soul mate" it's probably just gas or a brain tumor, whatever...

So much for soul mates? Who came up with such a concept. I asked my Rabbi, "Hey, Dude, whoever came up with the concept of 'soul mates'.... and he said "You talkin' to me? Soul mates! Oy Gevalt! What a stupid concept!" and I said, "You mean that you and your wife are not soul mates?" He laughed, "Soul mates? We haven't even shtupt each other yet with her mother living in the room right next to ours! You wanna know who my soul mate is? Sarah Silverman! That's who, but try getting her to believe it! Oy! "

Answer 9

ROFLMFAO Oh deary deary. give the woman some space and time you both saying that you're soul mates after 2 months is just silly!!. Take some time and both of you think what you want from this relationship

Answer 10

I hate to say it but you may have done something to irritate her and now she looks at you in a new light. If her birth control is messing with her mental like that, then she needs to invest in another birth control. Trust me, if it's meant to be she'll miss you when you give her some space. But don't let her play with your emotions.