OK, here’s my version of events that transpired last Saturday at an Under 10 Soccer match. I am not claiming in any way that I am perfect but wanted some other peoples view on this.
During an Under 10 boys recreational soccer game last Saturday, there was a vicious foul where one of my team had his legs taken out from under him and was shoved to the ground, where he landed face first in the dirt and was unable to get his hands out to protect himself. The referee didn’t blow up for the foul or even stop play as this lad was on the floor screaming and in obvious distress. I am the assistant coach on the team and waited as long as I could (Approx 15-20 seconds), before running on to the pitch to check on the lad. As I was running onto the pitch in the heat of the moment I evidently said “God Damn” out loud, not at the top of my voice, but probably loud enough that some people heard it. The referee then blew his whistle, turned to me and told me to watch my language, to which I replied “you blow your whistle”.
When I reached the lad who was in distress it was plain to see he was hurt, so I carried him off the field and helped him out.
After the game the Head coach of the team came to me and said she was offended by my language as I ran onto the field, to which I said I was sorry but it was a pure exclamation due to the fact there was a kid hurt and nobody was taking any notice.
Here’s where it get’s interesting, I thought it was all over and settled, but come Wednesday I get a call from the league Director of Coaching who says that my Coach has complained that I ran onto the pitch and cursed out the referee, without mentioning that someone had been fouled and injured and that she (The Coach) wants me suspended for 1 week. I told this guy my side of the story, but he wasn’t receptive to hearing anything different from what he had been told and told me that my presence at games and practices this week is not welcome. After this, later on Wednesday I receive an e-mail from the Coach telling me that unless I apologize to the whole team for my language she doesn’t want me back on the team, in her words there was no justification for saying the 2 words that I said.
There have been multiple e-mails back and forth but the main gist is I have already apologized to her for inadvertently offending her and explained again it was an outburst in a stressful situation where the kids wellbeing was foremost in my mind, not the language I used.
The end result is I have now been kicked off the team because one person (in my opinion), is putting 2 words which can be heard everyday in the real world above the safety of the kids we coach, after already having had an apology.
Sorry that this has dragged on but I am very interested in others opinions.
2007-10-26 02:19:02 · 26 answers · asked by LimeyinAmerica 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's in R&S due to the fact that the sticking point of the whole affair are two words "God Damn"
2007-10-26 02:24:01 · update #1
I would agree with you that this situation blew up for absolutely no good reason. The coach is letting her personal feelings affect her rational thinking. I too, as I'm sure many others, would have said something similar in the same situation. My daughter plays soccer and I have heard other people use expletives when someone gets hurt or even if they felt it was a bad call. You apologized for saying something in the heat of the moment that offended her, but she's out for blood. I do not know where you could go from here, but you have nothing to feel badly for.
2007-10-26 02:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by Elphaba 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
My opinion is that many Christians will use curse words here and there...the tame ones mostly. However, they will never use those two words. I think that if you had left God out of it and just said a curse word alone, you wouldn't be in the situation you are in right now. It sounds like your head coach is a Christian and perhaps even the director who called is as well. He may have just been reacting to how upset your head coach was. If I were you, I would express how you feel in a letter...the same letter to the coach and to the director. I would mention that you understand the words could have been offensive and that you said them in an outburst. Remind them of the situation, but focus on your action/offense rather than being defensive. Tell them it will not happen again. Tell them you feel that the situation was treated as a much larger offense than just saying a curse word, probably because of religious reasons and you understand that too...but that you also feel you deserve to come back and coach. Maybe you will get a chance to coach again, but after this season I wouldn't go back to work with the same head coach. She will probably treat you badly, but maybe you can get on with another team.
2007-10-26 02:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by snowbunny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't agree with what you said but I do understand why you said it.
Those kind of words are heard everyday. Does that make it right? No.
It would not hurt for you to apologize to the team and even to those who were all around you. Don't let pride stand in the way.
I would have ran out on the field myself. That was a good thing.
Matthew 15:11
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
Matthew 15:18
But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
2007-10-26 02:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Old Hickory 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
This is a typical response from someone with faith issues.
I was once told to leave my eldest sons baseball game for saying the exact same thing.
I suggest writing her a letter.
In the letter, explain why you initially apologized. State that you were in the heat of the moment and God Dammit just came out. And that you apologized to her right afterwards because you knew you shouldn't have said the words.
Then ask her what is driving her need to have you suspended? Ask honestly. Ask what denomination she is a part of?, and then ask if forgiveness is an important value for other people who share her beliefs?
Don't make it personal, just ask the questions and leave them open ended, without any commentary, so that she will be forced to evaluate her behavior.
One of two things will happen. She will come to her senses, and apologize. Or she will go for your throat and try and have you permenently banned from Coaching.
2007-10-26 02:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by ɹɐǝɟsuɐs Blessed Cheese Maker 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
If you are truly sorry about what you said than I would not have gone that far, pathetic really. You are right people say it all the time, but I believe it just slipped out and you didn't mean it. Do ask God to forgive you though.
2007-10-26 02:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I share your bafflement. My opinion is that you've been the victim of an injustice. The first thing that comes to mind is that the coach must be one of the fundamentalist Christian types whose notion of profaning the "Name of God" is as juvenile as the age group being coached. The coach's priorities also seem to be screwed to the max.
I, of course haven't heard the other side of the story. It'd be hard to justify your dismissal in my mind only on the grounds you've cited. If you're interested in staying with the team you might try to analyze the sum of your interactions with the team and the coach. I wonder, since you're from a part of the world which is much more into soccer than we in the US, if you're being perceived as a "know-it-all". That could come about not only from your behavior, but from the coach's insecurity.
Good luck. I hope you are able to find some resolution to this issue but, fortunately or unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be much hope in the face of such circumstances. If you have a child who is playing with this team I certainly hope he/she isn't treated as rudely.
Good on ya!
2007-10-26 02:40:49 · answer #6 · answered by wordweevil 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
If that is the exact version of events then I think that Coach has a very perverse sense of values.
A child hurt on the floor and she makes an enourmous fuss over a few words.
I'd say well done to you for actually bothering to apologise at the time.
2007-10-26 02:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by Mancloud 3 · 4⤊ 3⤋
This is my opinion. Swallow your pride, say you are sorry, and be done with it. The Lord says when you repent you are forgiven, end of story, period. Let it die down and be done with it. Soon they will find something else to attack. I realize you have apologized once but for the kids, do it again and be done. Tell them it must be over at that time
2007-10-26 02:27:49 · answer #8 · answered by kansas city gal 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You said, God damn. Say two Hail Mary's and an Our Father. That should be enough penance for it.
I think your coach and director coaching are seriously over-reacting to this. They should be more concerned about the injured player and the coach's lack of appropriate reaction to it.
2007-10-26 02:28:39 · answer #9 · answered by mollyflan 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
You must be American. In no other country in the world would anyone care less about you saying God Damn at a sporting event. Or anywhere for that matter.
Come live in Australia. We'll let you coach lol
2007-10-26 02:28:11 · answer #10 · answered by rj 2 · 4⤊ 4⤋