well, long story sort.
I am confused. Dated someone very seriously for years, but were friends and co-workers beforehand. The relationship has ended, and run its course. It has been 18 months, her choice. She said she would like to try to become friends. Problem is every time I approach, she shuts down, gets defensive etc. I have left things be for 6 months, but am hesitant to try gain, as she stated last time, she wants no contact.
What's up? I never had troubles with at least saying hi to an ex. And she is unwilling to even say why she is so anti-communacative...guilt, anger????
Should I just leave it? I would like to be friends, she is a great person, and our differences didn't help the relationship, but intrigue me and interest me....we could always talk, laugh and communicate.
Any advice. And before people say, i am just trying to get back...I am not, I am happy, but good friends are not easily found.
2007-10-26 02:15:25 · 11 answers · asked by someguy_in_halifax 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All I can say is, just sit her down and talk to her. There maybe a hidden problem that you don't see, that she sees as not being resolved yet. Have her tell you what her problem with you is, if she still won't, I'd then say go ahead and count your losses.
Good Luck!!!
2007-10-26 02:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be a reason that she is no longer talking to you. I'm not sure how the relationship ended, but whatever the reason, she doesn't want to deal with you. That's common for a lot of girls though. Don't take it personal, girls are like that. Try talking to her briefly about something that you both have in common, if she still doesn't want to talk to you, confront her about the situation and ask her whats going on! Tell her that she is a great person and that you would love to be friends with her again. if she still doesn't listen, then she has a problem because you sound like a sweet guy and she is missing out on a great friend. Also, if she doesn't listen, then you might as well stop trying because she's not ready, but she'll come around...
good luck!
2007-10-26 09:22:20 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly Bo Belly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are that she would like to be your friend too. But with the recent breakup I think she needs time before she can trust that you are sincere in maintaining only a platonic relationship. My advice is to leave it alone for now and when she is ready for a friendship she will come to you. I know that this is the way I would want it if it were me.
2007-10-26 09:33:39 · answer #3 · answered by dizzeeone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless what she says, everything she DOES indicates that there is no sense of friendship from her side. You've tried, and if you really want to make that one last-ditch effort go ahead, but this one seems to be smoking-crater pointless. (Don't expect any clarifying answers, you won't get them if you haven't by now.)
Write it off and move on. (If it'll give you better peace of mind, send her a very short note, to the point -- "Hi, I've tried, getting nowhere, you've not responded, oh well, it was good to know ya, have a life, if you want any contact you have to make it." No long tirades, no rehashes, no gushing, no bitterness, rather businesslike, and that's all of it. And hand-write it. No email.)
2007-10-26 09:36:12 · answer #4 · answered by Chipmaker Authentic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a relationship that followed the same course. I suggest that you just leave it be and let your ex resolve the issues she has with being friends.
You will more than likley find that when she is ready she will get back in touch with you and then take it from there.
2007-10-26 09:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by Chris D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right good friends are hard to come by, especially someone you've felt comfrotable to open up to and be in a relationship with....
Honestly, give her more time, she'll come around. If you two were such good friends before and are still trying to work things out she wont let you go completely, she needs some time to figure things out then she'll try to contact you.
Good Luckk
2007-10-26 09:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by Nicoleio<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. Move on. Let her make the first move.
I do not believe that it is necessary to be friends with ex's.
Sometimes things are better left alone!
2007-10-26 09:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did the relationship end badly
did you do something to hurt her
it doesn't add up to me normally a women isn't like that unless someone has done something bad to her
2007-10-26 09:43:51 · answer #8 · answered by jenniferevans32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have nothing to lose by not trying again. But don't waste too much time on her if she is just going to have an attitude about it.
2007-10-26 09:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by Alex E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eat a goat, and then throw it up on her face.
2007-10-26 09:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋