How long before the drama started for you?

Question

My boyfriend & I just began talking about getting married last month. We haven't bought the ring yet (that will be very soon, though). I've only told a handful of people about our intentions and the drama has ALREADY started.
We're looking at Oct 2009 and I'm ready to scrap our plans and go to Vegas already!
So how long did your families let you enjoy planning to get married before they started the drama?

we're paying for everything ourselves. our first inclination was to just elope, but we thought it would be a nice opportunity to be happy and celebrate with our families - BIG mistake.

Answer 1

We got to enjoy our engagement for about 2 weeks until all the drama started - his cousin complaining that we "stole" her date, his mom bombarding me with a million ideas that I would unfortunately NEVER use in my wedding, my family pressuring me to decide whether or not to invite my estranged sister, my Dad starting in on the "Run away now while you still can!" jokes with my fiance....and the list goes on.

In the end, you've just got to ignore it all and realize that there's only so much you can do about all of that stuff. I am lucky enough to have a VERY understanding hubby-to-be who lets me complain and moan about our crazy family whenever I need to! lol...

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

Well, first of all, your mistake was in talking about it all with your families before he's even proposed.....big mistake. Now, they have that much longer to obsess and plan things in their heads.

If you go into your engagement thinking there will be drama, then there will be. YOU two set the engagement tone and wedding planning tone. If the 2 of you have a positive attitude and let it be known that you are in charge, then you can start things out right. But this has to be done from the beginning. Once you let people start making decisions over you, then it's over....you might as well just go with it. My husband and I were lucky I guess. Neither of our families were intrusive, dramatic, or controlling about what we wanted for our wedding. It was totally up to US. They both wanted this wedding to be a reflection of US, not them. I did butt heads with my mom a couple times but nothing really bad. My parents always invisioned this huge 500 person wedding but that's not us...so we had to kindly explain that we didn't want that. It was a little difficult since they were paying but they both accepted it no problem.

Answer 3

I suppose it was luck, or just good planning, but we just had no drama! We hosted 200 guests to a really traditional wedding, and everything went well through the planning, and on the day itself.
Part of the problem for you is going to be that your date is way too far away. I wouldn't start planning anything til a year before the wedding, or move the date sooner.
Keep in mind, though, to listen to the input of both families, and handle things nicely and respectfully.
GOod luck.

Answer 4

You need to just listen, you may get some nice ideas. After you decide on what you want to do. Just do it. If someone has a "suggestion" tell them you already decided what you want and I wouldn't tell them. Unless its your parents or parents to be. The more people you tell, the more they talk about it and make your plans for you. If someone gets real adamant about something, tell them, "Sure, we can do that, if you chip in like $1,000. to cover costs."
It is your wedding, your life, your dreams. I find that with weddings, everyone tries to get you to do what either they couldn't afford, or didn't think of.
Just wait until you have a baby, oh the advice.
The one thing I have to say about weddings is that, no matter how much you plan, and strive for perfection, something will go wrong, it has too. It is how weddings are memoriable. Nerves are also a part of the ceremony. Just make your plans and stick to your guns. You have an awful long time to streamline and save. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well I'm getting married in three weeks, and it seems like the drama is going to go on even AFTER we get married! We both say that we should have just eloped, and it is so stressful. Just enjoy the time you have with your soon to be hubby, and don't let everyone else try to tell you what to do with your OWN wedding.

Answer 6

We had a very short engagement. A little less than 3 months. There was a little drama, but thankfully not much. There have been times when I wished we had just gone off and eloped! But I know I'll be glad once it is over and I'll have nice memories of the day. Good luck!

Answer 7

There's no drama for me (yet), as I am not engaged to my bf (but will be soon). However, his sister is engaged and is planning a destination wedding in the Bahamas - their parents are paying for basically everything. Their (my bf and his sis) mom is really controlling and has been causing all sorts of drama for them. For example, we all (me, my bf, his sis and her fiance, and my bf's parents) went to Tommy Bahama together and my bf's sis was showing us what they were thinking of having the groomsmen wear, and my bf's mom blew up! She started shouting about how this is their wedding, not "Rod and Amber's" (which I guess was some big fancy tropical wedding they saw on TV), and starts grabbing other clothes she thinks would be better. She was startling a lot of the people in the store, because she looked pissed and was shouting at them! And my bf's sister told us right there in the store "You two should just elope - if I had known this would happen, I would never have signed the contract (for the place in the Bahamas)."

Needless to say, my bf and I agreed that night that we will pay for our entire wedding ourselves, so as not to allow his mom to control us like that.

Answer 8

I've been engaged for 2 months...nothing but drama. Changed the date of the wedding twice before we settled on one. His family is from out of state, so we have to do two separate celebrations, here and there. Very hard to come to agreement on a lot of things, yet he refuses to elope- he thinks his parents will be upset, whereas my folks are all about a trip to Vegas...grr its frustrating!
My wedding is next June- a 10 month engagement- it couldn't come soon enough- I'd say the shorter the engagement the better, less time to torture yourself!
Also, all my friends, mom and aunts have all of a sudden become professional wedding planners and know exactly how they picture my wedding, and aren't afraid to give their "suggestions."
It's been tough! I thought this was supposed to be all fun and frilly?!?!??!

Answer 9

not long lol....now that everything is mostly planned we cant just go elope, but sometimes I wish we could! But, on the other hand, Im glad we cant because I think if I gave in to avoid the drama I would be sad that I missed my chance for a beautiful day with my family and friends. You just need to calmly tell people what you are feeling and stick to your guns. If you do have family paying for your wedding, there's not too much you can do to completely keep them out of it, but if you let them know it is stressing you out, they may try to handle it differently. I was bummed at first that my F and I were paying for everything on our own, but now that no one can tell me what to do with their money, I'm ok with it! Good Luck!

Answer 10

I never had drama between the families. But there was an immediate discussion between the two mothers, and constant "what about..." questions for the entire year.

Just ignore everyone else when you're planning, unless someone else is paying for the wedding, tell them you'll take their concerns and ideas into consideration, but its so stressful to have to make promises to so many people.