My 13yr old son told me yesterday that he would like to ask a girl out. I asked him what he meant and he said that he would like to take her to a movie or for ice cream. I mentioned that one of us(myself or my husband) would have to be there and he said that that is what his friends do....go to a movie and the parents go to a different movie.
My question is....do you think it's too young or do you think it's the norm for kids now? I understand and so does he that he's way too young for anything serious and there would be strict rules. He's a great kid(respectful, caring, honor roll) and very mature for his age.
Do you think we should make it a group thing(multiple friends) or do I allow him to go with her alone? Can I just skip to the part where he's grown??? Ha,ha!
Thanks for any help!
2007-10-26 02:00:40 · 13 answers · asked by SuVmOm 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
When I was younger, I was not allowed to "date" until I was 16. However, times change and children are growing up so much more quickly. I think your idea of allowing him to go out with a chaperone or a group is a good one... or even allow him to have his friend over to watch a movie. Either way if you give them enough space to let them feel like they're on their own, it will probably satisfy them, but you can keep a close enough eye to make you feel okay about the situation, also.
I think that the fact you're taking his feelings and wants into consideration already speaks a lot for your willingness to compromise with him, and his wanting to ask you about states his respect for you and your rules. Keep that line of communication open, and you should be able to trust his judgment and actions as much as he'll be able to trust your decisions.
Good luck :)
2007-10-26 02:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by Julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is too young. Statistics show that the younger children date the more likely they are to get into a physical relationship. If it was my son I would say no that its not the time and age to go out on a date alone. Tell him and say that you don't think the girls parents would approve eaither. Tell him that he can group date with you if he wants. I wouldn't let my son group date to the movies alone while I sit in another movie. Kids these days are experimenting with sex at a younger age and there is so much pressure for them to experiment. It is dark in the movie theater. YOur son might be a good kid and everything but his hormones are still raging and he might not be mature enough to handle pressure in this area. The brain doesn't mature fully until age 25. Good luck
2007-10-26 06:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by liliana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I only have one child and he is 15. Everything is new for me. I get the feeling that he is either your only one or your first child. I was quite shocked when he first asked to go out with girls at 13. It seems like times have changed and now our children mature faster. At first I allowed movies in a group type of situation. That worked for a while and then one night he wanted to just take one girl out. He did not want me to park the car but in the parking lot I ran into "her" mother and we both started talking and we realized we as parents were worried about the same things. She was just as uncomfortable as I was. So the moral of the story is that we tell them the good and the bad and hope that when they are in a tough situation they make the right choices. It seems like you and I have done our share of teaching and that we have great kids so may be it is time to let them go a little more. By the way if you think 13 is tough wait til he is 15. I cried when he started to shave!
2007-10-26 06:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by livewire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's too early for a 13 year old to start dating but there's no harm in going as friends :> You're right, there should be strict rules but since you say that your son is respectful, caring and on the honor roll, you must trust him right? Umm well I think you should allow him to go with her alone but you could lecture him about relationships and stuff. But he's too young! But I also think if he doesn't ask the girl out, some other guy would ask the girl out! And yet, he's too young. For me, the proper age for dating is 15 or 16. True love WAITS. HAHA. yeah they could go as friends. If you trust him, let him go with her alone. =)
2007-10-26 02:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by Regina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes not too young to start going out. I think its normal these days. Anyways, if u say ur sons mature and respectful,its not like he'll do anything bad. If he does go out, u or his dad shudnt go with him. It will be kinda embarassing for him-or any other 13yr old. If ur REALLY concerned about ur son, u can make the first one a multiple friend thing, but i think u shud let him go alone. If u come with him all the time or never let him go alone, he might think u dont trust him alot-and thats not so good for a boy his age.
So let him go alone- u wont regret it, and ur son with be glad with the desision!
Hope this helps! :)
2007-10-26 02:12:41 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband took a girl to the movies and got ice cream afterwards at the age of 9 years old.
They walked there and walked back.
I think if he knows the rules your son can handle a movie with ice cream with no problem.
2007-10-26 02:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it will make you feel better, 1 or 2 parents can sit in the front of a movie while th kids sit in the back just to make sure things don't get out of control
I know because just about every teacher's planning day, me, my sister, and about 8 of our friends (male and female) got to the movies and sit in the back while 1 chaperon sits in the front of the movie. After the fact, we all get into my mom or dad's truck and go to cold stone creamery
Hope this helps.
2007-10-26 04:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by Rayne J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that group activities are fine. Have him invitied this girl and a few friends. You should still take him a drop him off. Pick him back up when the movie is over, don't be late because that is when kids find time to smoke if one of their friends is smoking, especially if he thinks it will impress this new girl.
Dating one on one should be reserved for 16 year olds.
2007-10-26 02:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's in hat the 7th or 8th grade i think it's perfectly fine,to maybe go to the movies by themselves,i would'nt let them go hang out at the mall or anything like that,but being dropped off the movies in my opinion would be o.k.
2007-10-26 03:01:33 · answer #9 · answered by amy m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't see a problem with him having a girlfriend, as long as he has a healthy balance in his life.
he is human, and interest in the opposite sex at his age is normal. they are going to be in a public place, so probably nothing to worry about...
i hope you get some good answers here. take care.
2007-10-26 05:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋