I was at McDonald's with some people from church, and the guy across from me asked if anyone had money so he could buy a cheeseburger. Then someone else asked me if I had money to give him, and it kind of rested there so he started staring at me and wouldn't stop. I was still eating. Okay first of all, he already ate some fries, second of all I don't have a lot of money to dish out and he's not even my close friend, and thirdly I don't even believe in eating their cheeseburgers so why would I pay for someone else to have one?! Then I felt sorry for him and I said I'll give you money, but only for a salad, and he bought a salad AND a burger, AND kept the change! I didn't even know what to say. I did ask for my change back. How would you have handled this situation?
2007-10-26 01:29:27 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No I told you, I was only eating a salad--no burgers! And I didn't have the right change to only give him enough for the cheeseburger. AND I DID share, but I thought it was rude the way he asked.
2007-10-26 01:38:00 · update #1
Mommabear: He wasn't sitting there hungry. He already had fries to eat. And I did give money to him, but no one else offered to pay after he asked all of us. At least I gave him some cash instead of just saying NO. Don't you think it was rude of him to stare at me while I was eating, and then buy two different meals with my money and keep the change?
2007-10-26 07:10:16 · update #2
No, she didn't say SHE was eating a cheeseburger. Some people don't READ the whole thing and then jump to rude assumptions. THAT's rude.
It's hard to say what was rude at McD's though as I don't think I would've had the heart to stipulate what someone was going to eat just because I was paying for it.
I would have just claimed not to have any money. If someone had seen cash in your wallet, you could've just said you need it for something.
2007-10-26 01:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Nice church you go to, where the members don't feel the need to help out other members, and are willing to eat in front of others who have to do without.
You let yourself get hustled. If he was truly short of money, then when the person asked you if you had money, you could have said, "Hey, everyone, let's each pitch in a quarter to help Joe buy a hamburger!" It turns around and puts the onus on the group, and takes the pressure off of just one person.
"No one can take advantage of you without your permission."
And, BTW, it was rather rude of YOU to made judgemental decisions on what the guy could and could not eat. You aren't his mother.
In response to your edit: I still maintain that you allowed yourself to be taken advantage of. So he was staring at you -- so what? Assume that you're good-looking and let it go at that! And apparently he WAS hungry, if he bought a burger AND a salad with the money. Saying, "Well, he HAD french fries!" sounds a bit like a rationalization. So, if you went to a pizza place, and you all ate pizza, you'd probably say, "Well, at least he could eat the crusts!"
Again, I don't think you listened too carefully in church that day. JMHO. But it's ok, you've worked it all out in your head so that this is all HIS fault that you didn't have the cajones to say, "Nope, sorry, can't lend it to you, this is my lunch money for the week." I can't figure out what you're more steamed about -- giving him the money, or the fact that he bought a --gasp! -- hamburger at a hamberger joint! Perhaps he thought you said, "Get a salad TOO", not "But you can ONLY get a salad".
Either way -- if it bothers you this much, ask for your money back. Be sure you call or text him every day to remind him to bring it to church or to your next group meeting, so he doesn't forget and always remembers that the $5 means everything to you.
2007-10-26 11:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was rude of the other person to put you on the spot like that. You could have refused, or said you didn't have any more cash, but that would have made you seem rude. Instead, you did the polite thing and offered him money. While you really can't tell him WHAT he can eat with the money you're giving him, he should NEVER have been so greedy and bought 2 things with the money you gave him! And how tacky that he made you ask for your change!!! I am outraged on your behalf. At this point, there's not much you can do about it, but be prepared next tiime. Just say no, or tell them you don't have any more cash.
2007-10-26 09:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by Katie G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of whether you were eating a salad or burgers...I'm sorry...but 'I don't believe in eating there burgers' sounds awfully pompous.
But that's beside the point. Yeah, they were being rude. Very rude. And as I learned a long time ago, once you start lending people money - a buck here, a buck there - they start expecting you to all the time. I would have got up and moved to another table if they kept staring or prompty finished my lunch (threw the remainder away if need be), got up and walked out side or something.
2007-10-26 08:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was rude and he should not have stared at you. I would have given him money though because I can't stand the thought of someone being hungry. He should have given your change back. I would not have told him that he can only have a salad. Because you do not eat meat does not mean he can't eat meat. He could have had a double cheeseburger for a dollar. I would have asked for my change again.
2007-10-26 08:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are people that really look for someone to give them money to eat , but some only want money for wine or beer, cigarettes etc..... but on that situation you should have told him from the beginning that you wanted your change back . especially if it was a certain amount . but if it was like 2 or 3 dollars left , i would have let him keep it , but yes, it was rude. be careful next time .
2007-10-26 08:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by o 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was extremely rude. No way would I have given that person money just because he was staring. His behavior, from the staring, to refusing to give you your change, suggests that he felt you owed him something. You don't; you're not his mother.
But it was rude of you to tell him what he could eat because of your anti-burger ideology.
2007-10-26 09:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by julz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did not have to give him ANY money. You are not his mother, and he would not have starved. We are talking about Mcdonalds, not like he just walked out of Louisiana after Katrinal. He wasn't desperate, there was a reason why he did not have enough money in the first place. He took advantage of you, so be more aware next time.
2007-10-26 09:49:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did a nice thing and I might have done the same, but you have to watch out for people these days. I don't think it would be rude to say no.
2007-10-26 09:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by Tina L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real easy, you just say "No. Sorry I don't have any spare change to lend you". That usually puts an end to the staring and makes them move on.
2007-10-26 09:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Len 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋