Yeling and screaming into a boy 6 year old's face?

Question

My grandson was crying and shouting at me the grandmother . He was angry and all attention was directed to me,as I proceded to handle with him calmly His granfather came bursting from another room sreaming at the grandson. The screaming esculated into which the granfather veins were popping out of his neck. There was no phycial contact. My grandson wrapped himself around me in fear. His mother did nothing but watch. She thinks this kind of behavior is okay . I think this is verbal abuse and I wrong... Need advice to protect my grandson

Answer 1

If you are the grandmother and the grandfather was screaming, that's your husband, right? Why did you expect the child's mother to intervene? I'm not sure if I'm missing something but clearly, if this was your husband, you could have said or done something. Does the grandfather typically react like that? If so, maybe something medically is wrong. And why was your grandson crying and shouting at you? That's not acceptable behavior from a six year old. Your entire family could use some counseling.

Answer 2

You've lived with this man all these years and now you want to do something to protect your grandson? Of course its verbal abuse and it was when he did this to your children, which is why your daughter thinks this is normal. Its alittle late to change that now.

I would sit down with your daughter and apologize for not protecting her and tell her that you now know this is wrong. Offer to go to some parenting classes with her to help both of you know how to appropriately parent a child.

As far as your husband goes, you have allowed this for two generations now, and while you cannot control his behavior, you can control your acceptance of it. Tell him that it was wrong of him to verbally abuse his own children and wrong for him to do it to his grandson. Tell him you are no longer going to tolerate it and he either gets some anger management education or you will advise your daughter not to bring the grandson around him.

And the grandson has already learned that yelling is the way your family handles things. Your daughter will need to undo that.

Answer 3

My father did the same thing to me when I was a child. I can't tell you how many times I wished that my mom would have stepped in to defend me. It sounds like your grandson is behaving in the only way that he has learned in 6 short years. I don't mean to be harsh but we live what we learn until we are old enough and mature enough to want to change this behavior.
Your husband and grandson both need to be counseled that yelling and screaming doesn't work. We can't function well in this world when we use this behavior. You have a wonderful chance to teach them this important life lesson. I suspect that the child's mother could be a victim of her enviornment.
I work in a high school and wittness poor self control by students and parents every day. Until adults step up and say enough is enough, nothing will change. We owe it to our children and grandchildren to model good behavior and choices.
Good luck!

Answer 4

As a grandmother you should learn ur grandson to not shout and yell what he feels, but try calmly to expers what he feels.
About the mother, she should not stand there and watch she should protect her son,
And grandson shouldnt yell at you, thats rude, tell him, teach him that, if he doesnt listen punish him, children need to learn to respect elders,
otherways he'll grow up and be disrespectful to everybody.
As to the grandfather, he sounds like my dad, with all the yelling, but he's not going to change, he's already old, but you can try to calm him when he starts yelling

Answer 5

While Grandpa was over the top in his reactions, he probably got angry because your Grandson was disrespecting you and that's just not tolerable. The best way to "protect" your grandson is to tell his Mother to teach the boy some manners.

Answer 6

As a mother of 5, and daughter in law to a man that sounds just like this one, I have to say, it IS abusive. My kids saw their grandfather do this to some of my nephews, and once tried to do it to my own daughter. My mother in law let him do this. I stepped in between and took my daughter home. After no visits for quite some time, he then came to talk. We discussed that we would not tolerate that kind of behavior from him towards our children. Just because it was not physical, does not mean that it wasn't damaging!
That was about 17 years ago. My children, AND the other grandchildren, have discussed this now that they are older. It truly hurt their relationship with their grandfather. They were afraid of him. It is so sad that he can be loving, and yet, over the years, he has caused a rift between himself and several of his 21 grandchildren. His behavior was as irrational as a out of control TODDLER...and he should have the control that the toddler doesn't!
Just because his mother is used to, or tolerates this, does not mean that you should! Maybe, in reality, she is actually JUST as afraid as her child!
You are correct...it is verbal abuse and it is wrong!
Good luck, and please, if his mother won't protect him, YOU must!

Answer 7

Then you should of started by setting the grandfather straight and popped his neck to shut him up. Obviously his mother has a problem with letting other people treat her son however they want.

Answer 8

I have been thru verbal abuse and it hurts as bad as physical abuse... No child should ever have to fear their family... I think you need to talk with the grandfather and tell him how you feel... The mother also needs to stand up for her child.... It's her responsibility to, not just yours...

Answer 9

why didnt you say something to the grandfather, was this your husband? If it wasnt then maybe its the mothers father..So maybe she was brought up that way..your right, its verbal abuse and its not okay...Get involved and make sure they know its not acceptable and do what ever you can to protect him...good luck

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