why are parents in denial about what there kids are doing?

Question

i work with kids at differant sporting events i see them sneak off and smoke a cig, and come back i stand there and listen to them say how there parents are dumb and dont know they smoke or drink where talking about over 150 kids here not just 3 or 4.just that some parents are so dumb.half of my daughters 8th grade class smoke and drink.i heard one parent say iam glad my child dont smoke and iam like ya right just last week i seen her smoking behind the football feild

Answer 1

Some parents are oblivious to what their kids are doing.

Answer 2

I would have told that parent you say her child smoking behing the football field. If she is oblivious then that would be the wake up call. In our town there is a program called Project 7th grade. It was started by the police because they realized that most kids start drinking and smoking in the 7th grade, if they are going to start. Every parent I know has laughed at the idea. Who wants to believe that your child is going to start doing something like that? I go to the seminars so I can find out how to prevent it, but out of a school of 1,800 kids only 50-100 parents show up. My sister and brother both used to drink and smoke as teenagers and I never knew. Kids are good at covering up this. I know my mom never suspected anything either. It wasn't until they got older and it was more severe that we realized. I think I was just naive and didn't know what to look for. I watch out for my kids as best as I can, but if they were smoking or drinking and someone else knew about it I would hope they would open my eyes to the fact.

Answer 3

How are parents supposed to know what their kids do at school? If their child comes home clean and sober they will have no clue. Most of the time kids hide the obvious signs of alcohol and tobacco use by getting good grades, having 'good' friends, being nice kids, and just seemingly staying out of trouble.

So, this is where you step in. As another adult you should be telling these parents that you did see little Jimmy smoking yesterday. You aren't butting in you're doing the parent a favor. I, for one, wouldn't get angry at it I'd thank you endlessly.

I'm not saying that some parents who can't see what's right in front of their face aren't stupid but some parents really have no reason to think about that. If my kids were getting good grades and seemed to be on top of it all plus never drank or smoked near me I'd probably have no clue they were up to anything. Be a good parent and let these other people know what's going on with their kids!

Answer 4

Some parents dont want to know the truth and like to keep their heads in the sand. But I feel that this is worse then knowing what your chidren are up to.
Its really frustrating cause if your like me, when someone says your child has done something, you would tear strips of your child and probably ground them for the rest of their lives, then talk about whats right and wrong. Hoping and praying that your children turn out to be decent moral human beings. But then when the shoes on the other foot, these parents say oh my child wouldnt do that. I feel later on in life these children are the ones that have issues with adult life. They havnt learnt the right and wrong and dont take responsiblity for their actions or even know what consequences are. If that makes sense. You would be surprised how many have lost their virginity at the age of 13.Hmmm this is an issue and the fact is that this will go on for generations after generations.
I guess if you have a good relationship with your children, they will be upfront with you, and tell you almost everything.

Answer 5

In order to know what your kids are doing you need to be involved in their lives. Parental involvement is the single most important thing you can do. Kids also learn best by example, so how many of these parents also smoke and drink? If it wasn't viewed as "cool" they wouldn't do it. My daughter says that the definition of the word "cool" is "looking or acting stupid and pretending you like it." Smart kid.

Answer 6

Well, my kind step mother made SURE I got busted for everything when I was a teenager, yet her kids did the same things I did and she purposely looked the other way. I think it's a matter that they don't want to see it in their own kids, because they don't want to have to deal with the unpleasant experience of confronting it.

Answer 7

Yeah so true. I know heaps of yr 9 girls tht do drugs at school. And some parents are idiots. At a party one mum gave all th kids (under14) cigs and alcohol. Some are jus stoopid.

Answer 8

Sometimes parents get too busy. My mother had to work 3 jobs to support us after my dad left us, and my brother and I turned it into party time. We were alone, no one to answer to, and we acted crazy. My mom was home just to sleep, how could she know.

Answer 9

Keep out of it,the parents wont believe you over their little darlings! and you will lose all trust in the kids,instead hold tough,they will be caught but I wouldnt go down that road!as it's you that will come out worst.

Answer 10

This goes back to errant psychology. If I don't see it , it doesn't exist. Exists in many fields besides parenting. See religion, government , American Education, to name a few.