If you grew love someone and you never seen them, if when you seen them they were not what you expected would you just leave them alone never speaking again?, or would you stay with them reguardless? Why or why not?
2007-10-25 21:42:18 · 16 answers · asked by Mattie T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, I don't see how you could love someone without getting to know them, up close and personal. You might fall in love with the idea of them, or with the image they create in your mind, but you have to spend time with someone to know the real person.
Second, love is something you do by choice, not merely a feeling. Love involves caring for and seeking what is best for the person you love, not just getting a thrill from being with them. Thus, if you truly come to love someone, you will love them no matter what they look like.
2007-10-25 21:52:36 · answer #1 · answered by Gee Wye 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing by your question that you are asking about the emotional vs. physical aspect of loving someone. What do you do if you love someone deeply emotionally but the physical aspect just leaves you high and dry?
Love is a complex emotion, and timing and circumstance can't be discounted any more than personality or looks. The fact is, someone can love the physically ugliest of people if the situation was right, or they had time to adjust and get past the looks to see what was underneath.
You may want to give yourself time to adjust to this "body shock" you are going through and see if his/her personality traits outweigh their physical shortcomings. You might very well be surprised; after all, beauty fades in time anyway, and as your love grows, they'll look different to you.
Of course, it sounds like this relationship started long distance (online?), and so, one might question how really well you knew this person in the first place. As well, one may also wonder how very real it was up to this point of actually getting to see each other (meet?) and perhaps some of your disdain comes from not liking the whole package when presented in "real life"/once there was a real face to put to the "idea" of this person.
I am not sure what you mean by "stay with this person" as I don't really know the true nature of your relationship (online? penpals? etc?), but one might say that your relationship may be tenuous at best anyway. Even if it wasn't long distance, the sad fact is that physical attraction (note I did not say physical attractiveness) DOES matter in a relationship, and if it isn't there--especially since you already think you love this person--it probably won't be.
My suggestion is to hold out for someone here (local), in the now, in the flesh. Someone you are attracted to and can know in and out, not just in little bits here and there. Someone that you can have a life with day by day, not in little visits from time to time.
Best wishes to you in this matter.
2007-10-26 05:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be in a minority but I think love encompasses everything, and that therefore, by necessity includes physical attraction. You need to be attracted to someone's looks as well as their personailty in equal measures.
Fo rthat reason I can't believe you can fall in loe with someone without seeing them. You could form a strong bond with them, but it will never be love in the true sense of the word until all of the boxes are ticked.
2007-10-26 04:55:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course I would stay with them, i'd be a fool to leave them behind and miss out on something just because they're appearance was somewhat different from my expectations!
2007-10-26 05:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't base everything on looks. It's a lot of marriages and relationships that ends very drastically because they had bad chemistry, but they were only connected physically. I'd say try it out for 2 months, if ya don't like it.....get a refund......(my honest opinion)...
2007-10-26 05:03:10 · answer #5 · answered by timmy boomstick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean...if they're physically unattractive?
If so my friend, that's really up to you.
Well, let me tell you a personal story too. My former bf always wanted to date me...he said he loved me, and that I was amazing. He didn't even know me. Therefore, I didn't want to date him for a long time. But I finally asked him out....eventually, he broke up with me....because, like I told him-I'm weird, distant, and not interesting. Loved him though for everything...go figure.
Let me tell you though--I believe he followed his heart, and that was the RIGHT thing. Don't feel the need to force yourself, ok?
2007-10-26 04:47:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay with them regardless of what he/she become. you can start a relationship with them even only as friends because you might never know that they have the qualities that you can like about them.
2007-10-26 04:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by bebe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Physical appearance is important. First look might be deceiving but it is important. Another factor is chemistry.
You might fall in love with a picture or voice of a person but you may not like him after meeting.....
Cyber crushes usually crash after first meeting .....
2007-10-26 05:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough question. Depends on how "mentally" you like them and how willing you are to fogo looks to be with them. You need to decide what is important to you and stick with it. If you couldn't dream of kissing someone that looks like them, even though you like their personality, then they are not for you. Go with your heart
2007-10-26 04:45:49 · answer #9 · answered by sden2616 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they aren't what you expected...meaning not as attractive as you had hoped? If you really and truly loved the person it wouldn't matter. If you were infatuated then it matters cause infatuation needs attraction. If it's just infatuation leave.
2007-10-26 04:48:59 · answer #10 · answered by Amzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋