Is anyone truly capable of lying to themselves... or is it that they just think they are?

Question

How brutally honest have you been with yourself lately? ;-)

{{{{{{{{{{{cosmic honesty}}}}}}}}}}}

Answer 1

Don’t confuse levels of awareness. At some level we always know the truth. People have even had dreams that warned them of diseases before the symptoms arise, that’s from a study in Scientific American not in religious literature old or new.

Still at the physical level there’s no denying the fact that we lie to ourselves all the time. Just watch American Idol and watch those people that are convinced they have a “special” talent fall apart when faced with the truth.

Most of the time when people ask one another if they can be “totally honest” with someone they are asking permission to be brutal. Such truth looses value when the teller benefits at any level for their devastating revelations. Validation of truth is difficult and we have to develop discernment to know when critique is appropriate.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw myself on videotape. I’m 48 now so any of you in my age range or older know that what we take for granted now in technology was almost science fiction once. The shock was I didn’t sound like my ears told me I sounded, I didn’t look like I thought I looked. My mental image of myself was different. To my perception I have the features of a leading man. What I saw on tape was at best a character actor if not just an extra. I was shocked and felt sick about it for a few days.

We all have moments of clarity and if we’re interested in growing in awareness it requires courage to look at ourselves from other perspectives. Even when we try daily, even moment-by-moment we are confounded by our ego constantly running a public relations game with our minds and opinions.

I find the illusions in life to be the greatest challenge of living. It would be great to see ourselves in the mirror but even that image has been around long enough to not see the true self. Even when we do see we tend toward humiliation rather than humility. I’ve discovered that as Buddha taught there is a middle ground. Moderation in all things means moderation in everything, even things we think we’re reasonable about. We give power to our fears because what we fear may not be worshiped but we can make it be a God in its effect on us psychologically. I’m reminded of all the people scared to death of quigi boards. If you know God such fear is silly and self defeating, as aware beings we shouldn’t fall for such superstitions.

Answer 2

I think this is more of a religious question - As to how can you tell if your religion is lying to you?

To doubt your religion is the worst you can do? And so people like to look the other way, and not see the bad aspects of their faith. Because they put too much trust in what their religion tells them.

I think this is why the unconvinced and non-believers far outweigh the numbers of those who actively participate in religion. The numbers are always with the unconvinced and non-believers --- because they would rather trust in their own common sense (ordinary reason and logic) which they use everyday - and not to believe in something they cannot see, touch, sense, and smell, etc etc.

Answer 3

People are EXTREMELY good at lying to themselves. In a lot of cases people are entirely incapable of being honest with themselves on certain details of reality. The existence of a God is one of those.

The term "faith" explicitly states belief without evidence. There really is no evidence of the existence of a God, or any other non-corporeal entity. And yet people will insist with absolute conviction that God MUST exist, and they will commit every logical fallacy in the book in their attempt to convince others that evidence exists.

Brutal self-honesty is like an extreme sport. If you're honest enough with yourself, you will eventually get hurt. The effects of cognitive dissonance ensure that bad things about us are difficult to believe, so we naturally build up a false positive image of ourselves. Peeling away those false self images is psychologically about as comfortable as peeling away layers of skin and, like skin, we naturally grow more. We're not just capable of lying to ourselves, but complete self-honesty is painful.

Answer 4

Everyone is capable of lying to themselves. If they "think they are," they are. I try to be honest with myself, but I am aware of the fact that I have no excuse for certain of my failures. Nonetheless, I "make up excuses" on a day-to-day basis because basically, I'm a lazy procrastinator. I'm honest enough with myself to admit that, but not honest enough to make a commitment to change and carry it out.

How often is "I'm tired" a euphemism for "I'm lazy"?

Answer 5

Hello clever chameleon,
To lie to oneself is to avoid, to ignore the things we are in disagreement with our self about and not make the change to harmony. Sweet honesty means nothing hidden, no secrets, nothing to avoid. What a beautiful thing, honesty. How freeing to hide nothing from oneself.
You ask a mean question Mr.CC , honestly!

VC

Answer 6

I am too honest for my own good according to lawyers that I've met but I have to answer to the face in the mirror. I lied to myself for years when I said <"I love you" to anyone because I hated myself. It's impossible to love another human being under those circumstances. I know how controversial that bit of knowledge is. It took me a lifetime to accept it. Now, that I treat myself with love. I understand it more completely and I give it more honestly. I used to love those people who fulfilled some need in me, now, I fulfil myself and love everyone.

Answer 7

I can be very honest with myself, but I do think people are truly capable of lying to themselves, its call denial!

Answer 8

Lying to yourself is easy, it's the honesty that smarts.

Answer 9

lol, yes, i do think it is possible to lie to oneself, and most people do it without even realizing it

i know for a fact that i lie to myself frequently, but im trying to stop that

edit: i really like ennoae's answer. he's right. at some level, we all know the truth, but humans seem to be really good at denying it to the point that it's *almost* totally forgotten :)

Answer 10

i am the only one that I can be completely honest with. Other than my soul mate who knows my heart before I do and still chooses to love me, I tend to keep what I know to myself.