It is a fact that my boyfriend is smart. Very smart. We're both in college and he has never dipped below a 4.0. Right now he is struggling in deciding what to do with his life (because he has so many choices) I'm an average student who tries my very best. I'm trying to decide what I want to do with my life with what I CAN do.
My boyfriend has never mentioned this different between us out loud exactly. But I know he knows. Quite often we will be talking and he'll bring up a topic I do not know or say something I do not understand.I feel like an idiot because he like thought provoking conversations and too often I have nothing to offer. I like to talk about other topics in order to get to know each other better, and he usually says he would rather talk about something that is more thought provoking.
Should I sit down and talk to him about this? It is the only insecurity I have in our relationship. In my mind, I feel he will eventually get bored with me and leave me. What should I do?
2007-10-25 18:50:10 · 7 answers · asked by hopes&dreams 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have been together for over a year and a half. Other than this, I am completely happy with our relationship.
2007-10-25 18:50:57 · update #1
Given that I enjoy thought provoking conversations myself (and that they are often a deciding factor in how long I remain in a relationship) I might be of some help.
The best thing you can do is not treat him like a human dictionary. It is ok to let him know that you don't know what a particular word means or that a given topic or view point escapes you. It is also perfectly fine to occasionally ask him to expand on he views so that you may develop a better understanding of a foreign topic or view. You should however take the initiative ever so often to look up some of the topics your unfamiliar with on your own. Subscribe to a magazine that centers around one of his favourite topics, or read a news article or watch a documentary that relates. Then bring up the topic at some point to show that you have taken some interest in what he enjoys.
You have both been together for over a year which means that there are several things about you that he enjoys and appreciates.
So long as you take an active interest in a couple of the things he enjoys discussing, with out loosing yourself, you should both be fine.
Make sure you discuss you current insecurities with him... let him know how you feel and what you are thinking. It may after all turn out to be your most stimulating conversation yet.
good luck
2007-10-25 19:05:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Consider that he's been with you for 1.5 years. If he was going to get bored, that likely would have happened by now. He values you for more than just your intellect (which he also values even if, by your own description, he outclasses).
If he gets on a topic where you have little to contribute, ask open-ended questions and let him pontificate. You learn while he gets to expound at length.
Talk about this if you want -- it's rarely a bad idea -- but it probably won't change anything. You have a reasonably strong history together.
2007-10-26 02:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by Chipmaker Authentic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you already know your bf loves you and he doesnt hold your being less smart against you...he accepted the way you are when you agreed to have a relationship with him...so dont worry too much...however, there's no harm in making yourself more informative...find out the topics he's interested in and try to read about it as much as you can...in no time at all you will be having those thought-provoking conversations that he enjoys...you can also try to interest him in things that you are interested in...if you are willing to compromise, he should too...in that way, you will be doing things that both of you love...good luck and start reading those books!
2007-10-26 01:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by geisha 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your having worries about it, definitely about a talk with him. Even if he doesn't mind at all that you're not quite up to par with him, it'll still relieve you of some of your own worries about it. Tell him that you are worried that he might leave you later because of boredom- at the very least, you'll see what he has to think on the subject, and you'll know earliar rather than right before he leaves you. Hopefully it won't came to that, and he'll tell you he doesn't mind at all.
2007-10-26 01:55:36 · answer #4 · answered by Jeremy A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't think your bf is dating your brain, he's dating you and he must love your personality and what you have to offer. Don't feel insecure just because he's real smart, maybe you're so pretty and he feels insecure about his looks so he has to show you how smart he is. Just be yourself, don't be fake, and don't let his IQ get in the way of your relationship.
2007-10-26 02:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody is good at something. Find what you're good at. Everybody is equal. It all balances out in the end.
2007-10-26 01:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by bahl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its good to have an open honest forward relaionship
2007-10-26 01:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by Brooklyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋