Should I ditch him?

Question

About half a year ago, I started hooking up w/ my best guy friend. After we started hooking up, he began treating me like a girlfriend. He would call, text, im, everything...all the time. He'd even get worried that I might meet someone else. He always picked up on my emotions and did the right thing. Despite all of this, when I asked him why we aren't dating, he said he doesn't think he is ready because he doesn't know where he's going to be in the future. I've tried to break things off a few times, but he never lets me go. He contacts me a lot and says hes fine with just being friends. But everyone tells me that I can do better than him and that I should ditch him. Consensus is that he is not boyfriend material for me. The problem is that I don't know if I can do that because I feel like i am in love with him. Plus, I am his best friend and one of his only close friends. He doesn't really have anyone else. Do i just stop hooking up or do I eliminate him from my life?! What do i do?

Answer 1

With Him being so insecure about your relationship He is now controling you, If you don't want that then tell him to jam down the road bub. You are not responsible for him not having many friends. so forget that part. You can sense him controling who you see. this is not good for the long run.

Answer 2

From what you said, I think that if you stay with this guy, at some point he is going to smother you and get real possessive and won't let you have any other friends and demand all your time.

I can't say for sure, but that is the feeling that I get. He should have more than just you for a friend. That sounds like a personality disorder to me.

I'm not an expert, but over the years, I have learned something about human behavior. Go ask your school councilor and see what he/she has to say.

good luck.

Answer 3

How about telling him how you feel and what you want from the relationship? It doesn't have to be all or nothing, I wouldn't walk away from a person I felt i was in love with without first being sure he knew how I felt. The whole 'I don't know where I'll be in the future' thing...it doesn't really have to matter, you are where you are right now and the future is something you two can deal with when it needs to be dealt with. It sounds like you two are friends, I'd work on communicating before you eliminate him, it sounds like you really care for him and also sounds like you want him to acknowledge his feelings for you...good luck with all that.

Answer 4

It would probably be best for you to stop hooking up with him. He might not take it very well, and it's to be expected. Be strong, and you might keep a friend. After a while he could come around.

In the future, try to set expectations for your man before you let him get anywhere. Be sure that you both know what you're getting into.

Answer 5

If he is really your best friend he will be your best friend when he stops using you for sex and starts actually being your friend. You aren't dating because he gets everything he wants from you without actually having to date you...why would he want to do more when you have given him permission to have sex with you without any strings? Move on, only talk to him on a friend level and see where that goes. I highly doubt he will have much to do with you if you aren't putting out for him.....not because you aren't/weren't his friend, but b/c sex complicates matters and once you've done it you can't ever undo it. If he is still your friend, great, if not, oh well, at least you can actually move forward and stop hanging on to a guy who isn't interested in you enough to actually date you. good luck!!

Answer 6

eliminate this person from your life he is using you. He loves the attention but doesn't want a relationship , its unfair to you. All he is doing is stringing you along and this is not how a friend acts. Ask him what he wants a friend ? or a girlfriend? because you cant have both and thats what he wants.

Answer 7

he sounds like a really awesome guy, trust me, u wont find liek that around, and you sound really young. everyone now cares about sex and thats it. if u want sex, then get someone else...but if u wanta true relationship where you can feel loved and cared, i think u should keep trying, even though he says he doesnt want to cause he doesnt know what he wants to do when he's older. help him out =] trust me, he sounds great. best of all, he CARES, one of the bigguest issue today, " he doesnt care enough or i dont think he cares" so i think u should decide of waht you want and not what your friends want.

Answer 8

while being bred by another child may seem like a great thing to you, you are not a dog...at least I don't think a dog could write this, but you are acting like one. ps. women are liberated because they make their own choices, not because we let little boys talk us into being used as a receptacle for semen. if you want to do grown up things, start thinking about working to support a baby and finding a place to live and the sores you will get on your private parts, because these things go hand in hand with what you are doing. when you grow up, you will look back in disgust at yourself.

Answer 9

Clearly the boy has commitment issues. He wants to play the field and see if something better will come along while you sit around and wait for him. I suggest you go on with your life as if he was just your friend and leave it at that.

Answer 10

Well if you really like him, just ask him, and if not, mabe break it off. Because do you want to be in a relationship thats just hooking up? Then it would be awkward if you like someone else.