Well i'm feeling kind of discouraged. I go to the mall or anywhere for that matter and well i know when a guy is checking me out or eyeing me. I'm single, i'd really like to go out with someone. I dont know if the guys who check me out just want to look,whether they just dont like making the first move, or whether i just look unnaproachable!
Can anyone possibly help me out and tell me which one of these it is or whether i should just make the first move?
2007-10-25 17:19:55 · 29 answers · asked by Nise 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not afraid to make the first move, it is the fear of rejection
2007-10-25 17:33:16 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with you 100%. Before I read this question I used to believe that it was the boy's job to ask out the girl because that's just how it was supposed to be. But you have an excellent point when you say that this is the new age and that we are equal. I loved it, and you're absolutely right. And for your question, that is EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. But unfortunately, I wouldn't ask him out. I'm too shy for that and would not be good with rejection, even if I did think that this guy liked me. I've always seen it as the guy's job because it takes a lot of courage and men are ...well... manly! I do agree that I am wasting a lot of time, not because I'm moving on to another guy, but because I'm still waiting for him to ask me, after MONTHS. This question has changed my mind, so thank you. This is a very interesting debate, by the way.
2016-04-10 06:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah...the dating game. Don't you just love it? Everyone plays, but few know the rules...
Most guys...by nature...are literally afraid to 'make the first move'. Rejection is a guy's worst fear.
All guys will check out a girl (looks are not always a necessity). Whether this an expression of interest...that depends whether an eye contact is maintained by both parties. If he is staring at you...consider notifying the police. If he looks...maintains brief eye contact...then looks away...he is interested (This is true of males and females alike).
Feel unapproachable? Try smiling. It really does work. Practice saying 'Great' in front of a mirror several times a day. This exercises the facial muscles needed to smile.
Good Luck!
2007-10-25 17:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by CajunAsian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are mature enough for a responsible relationship read on. The answer is yes guys find it as hard to make the first move as it is for a female. Why do you ask it's simple ever since the woman's movement men have been made to feel as if they don't have to work as hard as their forefathers and yes we as woman have to own up to what has been laid out before us. But guess what it's the 21th century and you have been given choices it's how you act on these choices that will effect you as who you will be seen as. Push to hard come off desperate, not hard enough too shy. Practice with friends and I don't mean for the perfect come on lines but the ice breaker lines those are the ones that seem to give us all a run for our money. You can be bold and still remain the true lady you are.
By the way some of the oldest ice breakers work...do you know what time it is (Even if he's not wearing a watch and if he isn't and asks a friend for the time its.....working ... now work it.
Good luck.
2007-10-25 17:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by deniseandreu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people in general can give off an unapproachable vibe. When you feel a guy checking you out, pay attention to your body language. Do you tense up? Look away? or acknowledge the guy?
On the other hand, some guys like to check girls out, but don't act on it because they may be attached to someone else. Take the looks as a compliment, even if the guy doesn't approach you.
2007-10-25 17:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by tropicalfancy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys have it rough, why should they always make the first move? Maybe they are afraid of getting rejected. Maybe they think you are too pretty for them, that you wouldn't be interested. Next time you see someone checking you out, and youre interested, try smiling at them, and saying hello, give some clue your interested so they don't have to guess.
there is nothing wrong with a girl approaching a guy!
2007-10-25 17:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by charm1936 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok... well.. first of all i dont know how you look. I dont know where you are from. But to tell you the truth alot of guys dont have much confidence... maybe due to being hurt or being teased. maybe being rejected. If you think they are checking you out... and u think they are cute and what not... give them a smile. Pass them and say hi... And if you are really bold enough strike a conversation up with them. But dont be too forward... i know girls LOVE a chase and love to be chased.. same thing goes for guys. ^^ dont doubt yourself... guys are attracted to women who are comfortable and confident about themselfs. and most important be yourself... theres so much more to be said though... if you want to know message me or you can email me... mikekuni@hawaii.rr.com .... yea i live all the way here in hawaii...
2007-10-25 17:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's all you do: simply send out the right signals.
Your average guy is generally confused, clueless, and inept when it comes to girls and probably a lot more than you imagine. Guys want to meet you as much as you want to meet them.
Smile, be brave, be friendly, and talk to them. I think you will soon discover that guys are pretty ordinary. Send out the signals that you are unattached and looking. If they won't make the first move, then you will have to.
No one is truly unapproachable. They just aren't sending out the right signals at that particular moment.
2007-10-25 17:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by Uhlan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are just as nervous as y'all are. I usually only really feel confidant enough to ask a girl out when I have already have a girlfriend or recently did. As time goes by it gets harder to approach girls, but I gotta do it or be a priest. I really think girls have it easy, because they know when we are interested and they do nothing about it but smile and all that crap. If a guy is checking you out make his day and go up to him. Not saying you should all the time because it really is our job i guess, but speaking for myself it would be a welcome surprise.
2007-10-25 17:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
many guys lack confidence, like myself, so i say if you think a guy is cute then you dont necessarily have to make the first move but let him know you are interested. which will lead to more confidence in the guy and he will make a move to ask you out. And i dont mean flaunt yourself to him just little hints and if hes not a dumb *** he will figure it out. From my experience the guys with a lot of confidence usually are just lookin for sex.
2007-10-25 17:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by rochesmk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course they are. The fear of rejection...that's the reason. Some guys just think that some girls are just intimidating for some guys. Most of the time guys just stare but they can't do anything about it...so sad huh
Don't make the first move. Maybe the guy doesn't like you...then he'll think you're easy.
2007-10-25 17:26:23 · answer #11 · answered by Tooly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋