How to block out irrational thoughts?

Question

At work, I easily get affected by people who snaps at me. I easily detest people who are ready to degrade me. No matter how hard I try, I couldn't keep myself from being influenced by them. So what happens? I end up thinking too much and escalating situations that are typically not a big deal. How do you avoid that?

Answer 1

Interestingly enough the best way to solve this is with irrational thoughts....

Things like "Whenever a camel farts, a Polish Astronomer must feed light bulbs to a vampire."

Just come up with wierd things that make you laugh instead of things that make you mad.

Answer 2

Talk to someone sensible about it, borrow their brain. Write down your thoughts before switching off for the night. Make a list of things to do for the morning. Work out why you react, is it because the situation puts you right back into a past situation - say at school and you are confusing the two situations. be assertive right back, without being rude. Deal with it when it happens, right then and there. Put a big wall between home life and work and find a routine that allows regular exercise and relaxation

Answer 3

Find and live a good and fun life outside your office.

The happy feeling wil make you get more self confidence and even change your aura. With a good self confidence, u wont easily get affected, and you wont mind what the other people say about you for you have something more important to think about. They probably will even be jealous at how fun your life is.

Also gain some more new knowledge/ informations needed by your office. They'll appreciate you and respect you. Moreover, if you know that your work is better than theirs, u wont easily get affected.

Then.. it's time to revenge, right? Kekekeke... bad thoughts.

Answer 4

This is a hard situation, and you may just be a sensitive person, and there is nothing wrong with that! You're just in tune with your emotions, and this may cause you to over-think certain situations.

Sometimes it helps to think about why they may be treating you the way they're treating you.

For example, say your boss snaps at you, and you really feel you did nothing to deserve it. While it's wrong of your boss, maybe their pet died that morning, or they got in a fight with a family member the night before, or they're just having one of those days, and they're taking it out on you. It's not right, but it happens far too frequently - your boss may not be aware of how his/her tone is and it really has nothing to do with you or your work, it's completely their own problem.

If people at your work are putting you down, or degrading you, that's wrong, and you don't deserve that. Let them know they're talking to you in a way you don't like (nicely) and that you don't deserve it.

Hopefully you start to feel better soon!

Answer 5

You gotta just learn to let some things go. By getting mad and making something a big deal, you're wasting so much energy! Instead, be polite to them and know that you were the better person. It might hit them that they were being rude and they'll appologize (but even if they don't, you're still the better person). Plus, its always healthier to vent it out to one of your co-workers, that way, whatever you say, they'll probably agree with you and support you rather than snapping back at you (which is what got you mad in the first place).

Answer 6

I'm not sure what type of setting you work in, but I work in retail and I have to remind myself that I don't know what my customers may be going through. If they snap at me, they may have a valid reason. Then again, they may not. Either way, I must not let it affect the way I react towards them. I must keep on a smiling face and cheerful attitude so that maybe if they are having a bad day, it may help them out. I try not to analyze it too much, as I have too many other things to do. Good luck!!!

Answer 7

although it is difficult i find what helps is to try and refrain from judging these people back - even if they are judging you and putting you down first.
if you think understanding thoughts like 'i don't know what a crap day/life they might have had' or 'they are a valuable person even though they aren't treating me well right now', it can really help to change your perspective and not take their insults personally. usually people - even if they hate you- it's their own issues that are causing that and making them angry- not you, so you don't need to defend yourself. most people respond really well to being shown understanding and you might find that they start treating you nicer once they begin to feel that you like them for who they are and realise you don't hate them back for their shitty behaviour.
i think about the times i have been nasty or rude to people and often it was becuase i was hurting in someway. i think what i really needed at that point was some acceptance and understanding. that would have helped me move forward and i probably would have apologised for my bad behaviour. however, if the person i was being rude to was rude back or whatever i probably would have just kept on being mean thinking why should i bother trying to be nice... i would feel they are not understanding me and they would feel i was not caring about them and both of us would have kept on hurting.

thats my experience anyway. it can be hard to be the first one who shows understanding but its the only real way out of conflict.

Answer 8

I know exactly what you mean. I have learned through the years that the sooner you let it go the easier it is. The longer you dwell on it the more it will stick in your mind and bother you. You have to learn to let it go. Hurting people try to hurt others the people that bother you probably have problems maybe worse than you can imagine. When it happens to me I pray for that person and let it go. Sounds easier than it is but with time you can master it. Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

this is going to sound funny...but i heard it somewhere and it works well. whenever someone says or does something that ticks u off, replay the whole situation in your head over and over....each time adding something funny 2 it. lets say its your boss. replay him yelling at u...but each time u replay it...add something funny 2 his appearance. such as bulging eyes or a booger on his nose. do this 4 at least 1 minute straight. each time adding something more insane 2 the image. the crazier...the better. after the minute....u wont b able 2 replay the actual situation in your head ever again. i used 2 have the same problem! i feel your pain!
(this technique is also used 2 let go of negative experiences from your past that u cant seem 2 shake).

Answer 10

Hi Pmal,
Sorry to hear about your situation at work--
Have you stopped to talk to these people- myself I often find that i give off the persona of someone who knows very little so that's how I got treated. If talking doesn't work tell them that you don't want to be treated like that- and by the way "grow up"
good luck and let me know how you do