Why is there double standard in Islam? Why can't women be polygamous like men?

Answer 1

The ruling on plural marriage and the wisdom behind it

Question:
I was really into becoming a Muslim. I came to this site to find out how to become Muslim, on doing so I found out alot about the religion I never knew before, and it's kind of disturbing and almost a let down. I'm sorry I feel like that but it's true. One of the things that bother me is the polygamy thing, I would like to know where it addresses that in the Holy Qu'ran, please try to give me tips on how to live like that and remain sane?

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah concluded His Message to mankind with the religion of Islam, and He tells us that He will not accept any religion other than that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]

Your backing away from the religion of Islam is considered to be a loss for you, and a loss of the happiness that awaited you, had you entered Islam. You should hasten to enter Islam, and beware of delaying, for that delay may lead to regrettable consequences.

With regard to what you mention about the reason for your backing off being the idea of plural marriage [polygamy or polygyny], we will present to you the ruling on plural marriage in Islam, and then the wisdom and noble purposes behind it.

1 – The ruling on plural marriage in Islam:

The shar’i text which permits plural marriage is:

Allaah says in His Holy Book (interpretation of the meaning):

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3]

This is a Qur’aanic text which shows that plural marriage is allowed. According to Islamic sharee’ah, a man is permitted to marry one, two, three or four wives, in the sense that he may have this number of wives at one time. It is not permissible for him to have more than four. This was stated by the mufassireen (commentators on the Qur’aan) and fuqaha’ (jurists), and there is consensus among the Muslims on this point, with no differing opinions.

It should be noted that there are conditions attached to plural marriage:

1 – Justice or fairness.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3]

This aayah is indicates that just treatment is a condition for plural marriage to be permitted. If a man is afraid that he will not be able to treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is forbidden for him to marry more than one. What is meant by the justice that is required in order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife is that he should treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, spending the night with them and other material things that are under his control.

With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has no control over that. This is what is meant by the verse,

“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire”

[al-Nisa’ 4:129 – interpretation of the meaning].

2 – The ability to spend on one’s wives:

The evidence for this condition is the verse:

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:33 – interpretation of the meaning]

In this verse Allaah commands those who are able to get married but cannot find the financial means, to remain chaste. One such example is not having enough money to pay the mahr (dowry) and not being able to spend on one’s wife. (al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 286).

2 – The wisdom behind permitting plural marriage

1 – Plural marriage helps to increase the numbers of the ummah (nation, Muslim community). It is known that the numbers can only be increased through marriage, and the number of offspring gained through plural marriage will be greater than that achieved through marriage to one wife.

Wise people know that increasing the number of offspring will strengthen the ummah and increase the number of workers in it, which will raise its economic standard – if the leaders run the affairs of state well and make use of its resources in a proper manner. Ignore the claims of those who say that increasing the numbers of human beings poses a danger to the earth’s resources which are insufficient, for Allaah the Most Wise Who has prescribed plural marriage has guaranteed to provide provision for His slaves and has created on earth what is more than sufficient for them. Whatever shortfall exists is due to the injustice of administrations, governments and individuals, and due to bad management. Look at China, for example, the greatest nation on earth as far as number of inhabitants is concerned, and it is regarded as one of the strongest nations in the world, and other nations would think twice before upsetting China; it is also one of the great industrialized nations. Who would dare think of attacking China, I wonder? And why?

2 – Statistics show that the number of women is greater than the number of men; if each man were to marry just one woman, this would mean that some women would be left without a husband, which would have a harmful effect on her and on society:

The harmful effect is that she would never find a husband to take care of her interests, to give her a place to live, to spend on her, to protect her from haraam desires, and to give her children to bring her joy. This may lead to deviance and going astray, except for those on whom Allaah has mercy.

With regard to the harmful effects on society, it is well known that this woman who is left without a husband may deviate from the straight path and follow the ways of promiscuity, so she may fall into the swamp of adultery and prostitution – may Allaah keep us safe and sound – which leads to the spread of immorality and the emergence of fatal diseases such as AIDS and other contagious diseases for which there is no cure. It also leads to family breakdown and the birth of children whose identity is unknown, and who do not know who their fathers are.

Those children do not find anyone to show compassion towards them or any mature man to raise them properly. When they go out into the world and find out the truth, that they are illegitimate, that is reflected in their behaviour, and they become exposed to deviance and going astray. They may even bear grudges against society, and who knows? They may become the means of their country’s destruction, leaders of deviant gangs, as is the case in many nations in the world.

3 – Men are exposed to incidents that may end their lives, for they work in dangerous professions. They are the soldiers who fight in battle, and more men may die than women. This is one of the things that raise the percentage of husbandless women, and the only solution to this problem is plural marriage.

4 – There are some men who may have strong physical desires, for whom one wife is not enough. If the door is closed to such a man and he is told, you are not allowed more than one wife, this will cause great hardship to him, and his desire may find outlets in forbidden ways.

In addition to that, a woman menstruates each month, and when she gives birth, she bleeds for forty days (this post-partum bleeding is called nifaas in Arabic), at which time a man cannot have intercourse with his wife, because intercourse at the time of menstruation or nifaas is forbidden, and the harm that it causes has been proven medically. So plural marriage is permitted when one is able to be fair and just.

5 – Plural marriage does not exist only in the Islamic religion, rather it was known among the previous nations. Some of the Prophets were married to more than one woman. The Prophet of Allaah Sulaymaan (Solomon) had ninety wives. At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), there were some men who became Muslims who had eight or five wives. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told them to keep four wives and to divorce the rest.

6 – A wife may be barren, or she may not meet her husband’s needs, or he may be unable to have intercourse with her because she is sick. A husband may long to have children, which is a legitimate desire, and he may want to have a sex life within marriage, which is something permissible, and the only way is to marry another wife. It is only fair for the wife to agree to remain his wife and to allow him to marry another.

7 – A woman may be one of the man’s relatives and have no one to look after her, and she is unmarried or a widow whose husband has died, and the man may think that the best thing to do for her is to include her in his household as a wife along with his first wife, so that he will both keep her chaste and spend on her. This is better for her than leaving her alone and being content only to spend on her.

8 – There are other shar’i interests that call for plural marriages, such as strengthening the bonds between families, or strengthening the bonds between a leader and some of his people or group, and he may think that one of the ways of achieving this aim is to become related to them through marriage, even if that is through plural marriage.

Objection:

Some people may object and say that plural marriage means having co-wives in one house, and that the disputes and enmity that may arise between co-wives will have an effect on the husband, children and others, and this is harmful and should be avoided, and the only way to prevent that is to ban plural marriage.

Response to the objection:

The response to that is that family arguments may occur even when there is only one wife, and they may not even happen when there is more than one wife, as we see in real life. Even if we assume that there may be more arguments than in a marriage to one wife, even if we accept that they may be harmful and bad, the harm is outweighed by the many good things in a plural marriage. Life is not entirely bad or entirely good, but what everyone hopes is that the good will outweigh the bad, and this principle is what applies in the permission for plural marriage.

Moreover, each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation as prescribed in Islam. It is not permissible for the husband to force his wives to live together in one house.

Another objection:

If we allow men to have plural wives, why are women not allowed to have multiple husbands, why does a woman not have the right to marry more than one man?

Response to this objection:

There is no point in giving a woman the right to marry multiple husbands, rather that is beneath her dignity and she would not know the lineage of her children, because she is the one who bears the offspring, and it is not permissible for the offspring to be formed from the sperm of a number of men lest the lineage of the child be lost and no one will know who is responsible for bringing up the child; this will lead to breakdown of families, loss of ties between fathers and children, which is not permitted in Islam as it is not in the interests of the woman or of the child or of society as a whole.

Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 290

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Answer 2

All mandates of the religion of Islam are from God, the Wise, and thus one deduces that all things which are permitted are due to the fact that their benefit to the self and society outweighs their harms. When one analyzes the reasons and results of the allowance of polygamy, it will be found that indeed the rulings of the religion of Islam are truly those which suits all times and places, as their source is God Almighty, the Wise and the Knowledgeable.

As the Quran indicates (4:3), the issue of polygamy in Islam is understood in the light of community obligations towards orphans and widows. Islam, as a universal religion that is suitable for all times and places, can not ignore these compelling obligations.

Islamic polygamy addresses the social problems of prostitution and extramarital affairs common in the West. Instead of cheating - infidelity is one of the top reasons for divorce in the West - Islam allows a man to marry more than one wife, with full recognition of the rights of both of them. The basic principle in Islam is that men are held responsible for their behavior towards women just as women are responsible for their behavior towards men.

The number of women in the world exceeds that of men. The surplus is a result of men dying in wars, violent crimes, and women outliving men.[1] The upsurge in homosexuality further increases the problem. Bertrand Russell wrote, “And in all countries where there is an excess of women, it is an obvious injustice that those women who, by arithmetical necessity, must remain unmarried should be wholly debarred from sexual experience.”[2] Polygamy, then, is the only responsible solution for this predicament.

The number of women in the world exceeds that of men. The surplus is a result of men dying in wars, violent crimes, and women outliving men.[1] The upsurge in homosexuality further increases the problem. Bertrand Russell wrote, “And in all countries where there is an excess of women, it is an obvious injustice that those women who, by arithmetical necessity, must remain unmarried should be wholly debarred from sexual experience.”[2] Polygamy, then, is the only responsible solution for this predicament.

Besides men really like variety. LOL

Answer 3

Because that's the way it has been since the VII century. Islam stays stuck in Mohammed's times.
If women were to be polygamous they would very likely be killed

Answer 4

Because it originated in a society that was in the cusp of civilisation and un-civilisation. That is the reason why such stupid medieval, dirty and filthy practices have legal standing in some countries.

Answer 5

The Polygamy actually means that… ‘A person who has more than one Spouse’. It is divided into two categories – ‘Polygeny’…
in which, a man has more than one wife,
and ‘Polyendry’… in which, a woman has got more than one husband.

People normally, think Polygamy means… ‘A man can only… man can marry more than one wife’ - Polygamy means both… ‘A person having more than one spouse’. If a man has more than one wife, it’s called ‘Polygeny’… and if a woman has more than one husband, it is called ‘Polyendry’. But since you asked the question…

‘Why is a man allowed to marry more than one wife?’ I will answer, why is Polygeny allowed in Islam.

Qur’an happens to be the only Religious book on the face of the earth, which says… ‘Marry only one’. There is no Religious book on the face of the earth, which says… ‘Marry only one’.Its only mentioned in the Qur’an.


If you read the Jewish Scriptures, the Jewish law allowed ‘Polygeny’ in the 11th century. It was only when Rabi Gurdshom Benjahuda, he passed a Signord and said… ‘Polygeny should not be allowed’. Still, it was practiced by the Septranic Jewish community, in the Muslim countries… until in 1950, the chief Rabainite of Israel, put a ban on it.


The Christian Bible allows Polygeny - only a couple of centuries ago, the Church put a ban on it.





why did Islam allow Polygeny? As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only Religious book on the face of the earth which says... ‘Marry only one’. It is mentioned in Surah Nisa, Ch. No. 4, Verse No. 3, that... ‘You can marry women of your choice, in twos, threes or fours, but if you can not do justice, marry only one’. This statement… ‘Marry only one’, is only given in the Qur’an - it is not there in any other Religious books. In pre-Islamic Arabia, men had several wives… Some people had hundreds of wives. Islam put an upper limit to Polygamy - Maximum four. And if you can have more than one wife, only on the condition, that you can do equal justice between the two, or bet­ween the three, or four - otherwise only one. And the same Surah… Surah Nisa, [ 4,129] says that..., ‘It is very difficult for a man to be just, between his wives’. So Polygamy is an exception… it is not the rule - Many people think that Islam says..., you should compulsory marry more than one wife. There are five categories of do’s and don’ts, in Islam. 1st category is compulsory, which is ‘Farz’, the 2nd category is ‘Recommended’ or ‘Encouraged’, the 3rd category is the ‘Permissible’ category, the 4th category is the ‘Discouraged’ category, and the last is prohibited or ‘Forbidden’ – Polygeny, falls in the middle category of, ‘Permissible’. There is no statement in any Hadith, or in the Qur’an which says that... ‘If a man marries more than one wife, he is a better Muslim than a person who marries only one wife’.



==========SCIENTIFIC REASONS=================

Let us analyse logically, why does Islam allow a man, to marry more than one wife? By nature, men and women are born… male and females are born, in equal proportion. But medical science tells us that… ‘The fetus… if it’s a female, it is more stronger than the male fetus.’ Pediatric knowledge tells us, that... a female child has got more resistance, than the male child - A female child can fight germs and disease, much more stronger and a better way, than the male child. ***

Medical science tells us, that the female is health wise a stronger sex, than the male - so in the Pediatric stage itself, the female ratio is higher than the male ratio. Wars take place in the world, and during wars, more males are killed than the female. Even the recent war which took place… in the recent war which took place in Afghanistan, approximately more than one and a half million people were martyred, out of which most of them were men.

Statistics tells us that accidents take place - More of the men die in accidents, than female - More male death takes place due to cigarette smoking, than female death. Therefore, we have more females in the world, as compared to the male.

In New York alone, there are 1 million females more than male -

In US, alone there are 7.8 million females more than males, and out of the male population of New York, 1/3 are Gay. They are Sodomites - That means, they can not find female partners - And there are more than 25 million Gays in America. In Britain alone, there are more than 4 million females, more than males

- In Germany alone there are 5 million females more, than males

- In Russia alone, there are 7 million females, more than males

- And God knows, how many million females are there more than the males, in this whole world. If suppose your sister happens to live in America, and suppose the market is saturated, every man has found a female partner for himself - Still there will be more than 30 million females in USA alone, who will not be able to find husbands. And suppose your sister who is living in America, happens to be amongst the unfortunate ladies, who has not found a partner yet -

The only option remaining for her is, that she either marries a husband… she marries a man who already has a wife, or she becomes public prop­erty - There is no third option. And believe me I have posed this question to hundreds of Non-Muslims, and every one opted for the first -

No one so far, has opted for the second. But there are some people who are smart, and he said that... ‘I would prefer my sister remaining a virgin’. Believe me, medical science tells us, that a man or woman cannot remain a virgin, throughout her life. She cannot remain a virgin, throughout her life, without indulging in illicit sex or sexual perversion, because daily, sex hormones are being liberated in the body. And those great men, who claim to have renounced the world, for example the Sages and the Sants, who go to mountains and Himalayas… behind them, you find the devadasis going - for what?



according to a report… ‘Out of the Priests and the Nuns of the Church of England, the majority indulge in fornication and homosexuality’ - there is no option… there no third option. The only option is, that you marry a husband who already has a wife, or you become a public property.

Answer 6

islam is just a regurgitation of christianity... except they are primarily black instead of white... with the same predjudices in reverse..

Answer 7

It was founded in a time of extreme misogyny in a patriarchal society.

Answer 8

Its obvious: because how would you know whos the daddy?

Answer 9

Income?

Answer 10

What do women and Islam have in common? Besides the stereotyped images that each suffers from individually, the status of women in Islam is one of the most extremely misunderstood and incorrectly portrayed things in western society. We can investigate why this is so later. First, a brief introduction to the actual status of women in Islam is in order.


Before discussing issues pertinent to the social status of women, consider the original creation of the woman as portrayed by the Quoran (the Islamic holy book) which does not subscribe to the view that Eve was created from the crooked rib of Adam and thus is of inferior status: "O humankind, be conscious of your Sustainer who has created you out of one living entity, and out of it created its mate, and out of the two spread abroad a multitude of men and women." Instead, the verse of the Quoran shows that there is no superiority for one sex over the other. This sets the tone for the status of women in Islam.


The concept of gender equality in Islam is stressed by the non-superiority of either sex over the other. It came at a time when it was necessary to elevate the demeaned status of women and grant them rights equal to those of men. The equality of women in Islam is evident by the unprecedented legal rights given to them under a monotheistic religion as defined in the Quoran. As one of many examples, consider the rights of women in marriage and divorce. Both men and women have equal rights to contract a marriage as well as to dissolve it. The precondition of marriage is merely the mutual agreement by both parties. And unlike Christianity, a woman in Islam can divorce her husband at any time if she feels that she has been dealt with unjustly or even if she is just unhappy with her spouse since marriage is based upon mutual responsibilities toward each other. Islam has also ensured the woman's right to remarry pending a three month refrainment period.


As for social rights, Islam has always recognized the prominent role that women play in society. They are given the freedom to pursue any profession including political positions. Both in the past and present day, women in Islamic societies have reached political heights unparalleled in the most "advanced" western nations. Even in the earliest day of Islam, Aysha, the daughter of the prophet, lead an army of 30,000 soldiers. Currently, women lead two Islamic countries: Benazir Bhutto has served as the prime minister of Pakistan since 1988 and has been a strong and remarkable leader. Turkey is also headed by a Muslim woman, Tansu Ciller, who was elected the prime minister in 1993. Here in the U.S., we still have never had a female president and the outlook doesn't look too good either.


Those are just a few of the facts. Why then is Islam portrayed as a religion that oppresses women and puts them in a position inferior to men? Part of that is certainly due to the stereotyped image of how Islamic women are portrayed in western media as an extension of Islam-bashing. A prominent example is the movie "Not Without My Daughter" in which scores of false and fictitious depictions were made of women in an Islamic country. It is also true, however, that in many so called "Islamic" countries, women are not treated according to their God-given rights. But this is not the fault of Islamic ideology but rather the misapplication or sometimes the outright denial of the ideology in these societies.


Much of the practices and laws in "Islamic" countries have deviated from or are totally unrelated to the origins of Islam. Instead many of these practices are based on cultural or traditional customs which have been injected into these societies. For example, in Saudi Arabia, women are not allowed to drive by law. This rule, in a country which is supposed to derive its law from Islamic legislation, is completely an invention of the Saudi monarchy. This horrific rule as well as a host of others are residues of old pre-Islamic tribal traditions where women were not entitled to the same rights as men. As another example, in some "Islamic" countries, many civil laws remain those that were imposed upon them during European colonization. Much of the civil law that legislates personal and family matters in Egypt, for example, is directly based on old French law. As a result, an Egyptian man can divorce his wife much more easily than the reverse. Consequently, women often have to suffer long and expensive court procedures and have to prove that they were mistreated by their husbands before being granted a divorce. Often times, laws in Middle Eastern countries, which are legislated and enforced by men, only take bits and pieces of Islamic law and combine them with concocted rules based upon some cultural or foreign practices.


The status of women in Islam is one of equality and honor. Unfortunately, in the current day and age, though there are many societies in which the majority of citizens are Muslim, there are no Islamic nations.


Noha Ragab is a Durham resident.

Answer 11

because it.s man made just like the mormons