My older sister called about 15 minutes ago,She lives in another state.we talk for less then 10 minutes so the conversation is going well untill I tell her I saw one of our cousins who mom just past away.she asks me did I attend the funeral and I told her no I did not attend. she asked why.The reason I did not attend the funeral is because my father side of the family is always treating my mother really bad.My father use to be married to this lady so my father sisters and his neices keep inviting his ex-wife to the funeral and doing alot of other evil things.They are trying to get my father back with this lady.so anyway my sister says she is still your aunt.Then I ask her well why you did not attend,she said because of money problems.so then she got upset with me and wanted to talk to my mom.I know I should have attended the funeral but if I would have attend I know I would have got into it with my aunts or cousins.so I would like to know do you think Im wrong for not attending?
2007-10-25 16:10:19 · 7 answers · asked by TrueWoman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You made the right decision. You had use your common sense by avoiding a possible disruption at the funeral. One thing you don't want is to be the one of giving reasons for other family to blame you for ever happen at the service. Even though, your sister don't understand the correct decision you had made, nonetheless you knew you couldn't take the chance.
If the other family made an issue why you weren't there, just politely make an excuse that you didn't have the money to attend. When you have available time pay your respects at the cemetery and bring some flowers. Maybe by then your sister will have some money to go with you.
Please accept my condolences to you and your family. God bless
2007-10-25 16:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister did not attend due to financial woes. You did not attend as a matter of personal principle. Going to a funeral is generally called "paying one's last respects to the deceased and their family." What if a person has no respect to pay to the now deceased and/or their family? Is that person still obligated to go and what--pretend, or worse yet, be disrespectful to others who are? I do not believe that is a good virtue or an honorable way to behave. Financial problems can be worked out, if one asks for simple transportation to pay last respect. Did she attempt to do so? Did every relative and friend say no? I think not. She had a respect to pay, did not exhaust her possiblilities and is attempting a poor attempt at a "guilt trip" at your honest and unrefutable absence.
2007-10-25 23:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by HisChamp1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
attending a funeral is for respect for the dead, however there are many living people that go to these things that you have to deal with. They can be awkward. I hate having to run into family members that have betrayed me, but like you have recently had a cousin pass away. I went for his sake only. I wrote HIM a card and asked his daughter to put it in the casket for HIM, not the family (which she did). You owe nothing to anyone. Keep you and your family safe. Parasitic families are bad. Visit the deceased family member when you feel it's ok. Grieve at your own pace.
2007-10-25 23:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by Empress Jan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone dies it has nothing to do with respect. Respect is an honorable person who lives his/her life in an honorable way towards every living person or animal and if a person does not show respect during his/her lifetime, why waste your time showing respect when him/her are dead? Would YOU, if your relative was, just to say--The Night Stalker, Ted Bundy, maybe even the Hillside Strangler, that might give you an idea of what Im trying to get at--that respect has nothing to do with death but the living. And if you feel that that person does not deserve respect because he didn't give respect, then feel good for standing up for yourself because that is a way of showing that person real respect by not going and telling everybody how you feel about that person.
2007-10-25 23:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by Abridged 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You decided not to attend the funeral, so be it. There is no point discussing whether what you did was right or wrong. You can not bring back that day anymore.
2007-10-25 23:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you and the rest of your family could grow up and realize that funerals are to pay respect to the person who died, and those they left behind.
I never heard of being "invited" to a funeral... people go to funerals of their own, free will... to pay their respects, not to fight, grovel and act like three year olds... just fyi
2007-10-25 23:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you were right not to go if you did not feel right about it
.
don't let people bully you.....
2007-10-25 23:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋