I'm in my late 20s. Been through a couple of very long term relationships. Just focusing on my career right now and don't have the energy to date anyone. So, I have a lover I see once or twice a week (we've been seeing each other for a month or so). I like him as a person and we are very compatible as lovers. Things are very natural and comfortable right now. Normally I just meet him at his place and leave right after. A couple of days ago, I slept over for the first time. Do you think I may get emotionally attached if I spend more time with him hanging out or sleeping over? I'm a little worried. (I know people will comment on this, so I'll answer first: of course we practice safe sex!)
2007-10-25 16:05:06 · 5 answers · asked by Lisa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It shouldnt really matter if you fall for the guy or not. Even if you do fall for the guy, how bad could that be, I mean would it be so horrible, to find someone that may make you happy physically and emotionally? Who knows this could be the guy you end up spending the restof your life with... Play it by day, sleep with the guy, enjoy yourselves. Be happy and if it leads to more, then thats what happens, your career will sill be there, youll just need to work harder, but having that person be there for you makes up for the extra work. Trust me on that one. Oh and the term "lover" kinda means you "love" that person, aka there is more than a sexual relationship involved lol, normally what you have if its just physical, its got some other names, such as booty call, no offence, its just sex if its not with a significant other. But it sounds to me like you already have a relationship with this person, so I have a feeling your pretty much trying to tell yourself nothings going on when something so obviously is...
2007-10-25 16:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by teh_masta_of_all 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I’m 28 almost 29, and from what I have seen, yes. The more you are around him and sleep with him and stay over, yes you will get attached, if your not already. You should only get that close to a man you see a future with, not a guy who is an OK guy. This “friends with benefits” has cased a lot of problems, and most all of them end up hurting the woman, not the guy. I know 2 girls who did about the same thing you are, they ended up married to the guy. Needless to say, one is divorced and the other is getting one. Turned out that sex is not the best way, to begin or define a relationship. You all are compatible as lovers? Meaning the sex is good. What about talking, and everything else?! I mean you have to get out of bed and talk some time. I think you should be careful, and also only date and be with guys that you see a future with. Guys that are nice, good to you, and love you. Why waste time with the others, it will just make your life harder. So, I am saying yes, you will get feelings for him. He may or may not for you, that's just the way it goes in cases like this. You maybe just a fun time, and well if that’s what you want, that's fine. You just have to make sure your both on the same page. Please don't let yourself get hurt, and like I said I think one should not date/ be with, someone they do not see a real future with. The base of that relationship should not be sex, too many people are and have made that mistake. Please, don't get hurt, your walking a fine line, and it's easy to fall off it.
2007-10-26 00:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, don't be so naive; I think you're old enough to know the answer to this question by now... Of COURSE there is a high chance of you getting emotionally attached to someone if you're hanging out and having good sex! But if you're really trying not to get too attached then I suggest you start seeing other people at the same time, like ME for instance! This way, you make it clear to yourself that these are all just meaningless flings and ensure that your emotional energy isn't just focused on one person.
2007-10-26 09:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by PAUL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting attached is not just about crush that you have but spending time with someone will attache you to him ... even you might say no it is just a physical thing but if you hear for example some thing is wrong with him you gonna worry about it and try to help him !! even if you hang out with a flower every day you gonna get attache to it
2007-10-25 23:15:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will definitely get attached to him and him to you, too
2007-10-25 23:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋