When I talk to people in informal conversation, I'll ALWAYS refer back to what someone says about a topic or a previous conversation...
"So-in-so said that...."
"When I talked to so-in-so they said that..."
"You'll never believe what so-in-so said about..."
I wonder if people believe I can't keep a secret. Or, I can't think of something intelligent on my own and have to quote what someone else says. My intent isn't to gossip, but just to attribute someone's words or actions.
Is this bad? Should I stop doing this to ensure that I can keep information inside of me?
Thanks for your advice. :-)
2007-10-25 15:31:06 · 5 answers · asked by cute_chocolate_buggie 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As long as it is done in good taste and is edifying and positive to the person that you are quoting. Does it show respect? If it isn't then it isn't anything more than just gossip that doesn't do anyone any good. It makes you look bad. It makes the person that you are quoting look bad. It cheapens you and anyone that is willing to hear it.
Ergo a whole lot of wasted time building the wrong kind of legacy that you dont want to leave behind you when you leave. Which means more gossip. This time about you.
2007-10-25 16:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by guitarrman45 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are talking about isn't about secrets. It's really about listening and learning and adding to your knowledge. In the process of growing and learning you learn what to say and who to acknowlege what is said to you. Make sure you are quoting knowledgeable people before you do not just quote your closest best friend. If you are making a statement about facts, make sure you have those facts. Don't base those ideas or statements on emotions or gut reactions. Get facts. The end result is you should belive and if you are still asking for information, be open to all.
2007-10-25 15:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Curb that - it'll get you into trouble before too long. You'll probably have to learn the hard way, though.
Peep this: when I was about 20 and in the Army, one of the fellas said something about this girl in our unit (who I was friends [friends ONLY - that sucked, cuz she was HOT] with at the time) and during a close moment, I mentioned what this guy had said, but told her to keep it to herself because it was told to me it in confidence - she agreed. Next day at work, she walked right up to him and said some smart-azz comment to him, and right away he knew that I must have said something to her.
Point is, he was big and strong as an ox, and I almost got my azz kicked. Lucky for me my roommate was his good buddy, so he smoothed it over for me, but that guy never trusted me again, and I felt like a real betray-er.
I have been careful ever since, and that's been about 15 years ago.
2007-10-25 15:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's bad at all...most things people talk about include situations that involved other people...
2007-10-25 16:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by shakespeareismyboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty rude to be frank.
2007-10-25 15:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by Hello 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋