a good friend of my fiances is getting married. he did not ask my man to be in the wedding, however the girl he is marrying has asked me to be a bridesmaid.
when they were just dating she would always tell me that i would not be in their wedding unless it was some small part and the only way i would be a bridesmaid would be if one of her other friends backed out or couldnt do it.
the other day i got a phone call asking me if i would be willing to dye my hair again bc she thinks that it would look better with her choice of bridesmaids dresses if i wanted to be in the wedding. she then went on to me tell that a friend had said she couldnt do it but she had two other people in mind for the position.
She told me she didnt need to know right away and just to let her know when i thought about it.
i know it is her day but i feel a little hurt about things she has said in the past. should i accept her offer and just let it be done, should i say something to her, or should i just declin
2007-10-25 15:28:08 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i should also say that she told me this again about 3 weeks ago after they got engaged. i dont hate her and we have been friends for about 5 years her man and mine have been friends for about 10 years
2007-10-25 16:13:53 · update #1
I would politely decline the offer. Just tell her that you think somone else should be part of her special day and that you wish her the best but you just don't think you would be the right person for such a "big" role. That way there, you are stating that you remember what she said previously but you're saying it nicely so you seem to be the angel.
!ALERT THE BRIDEZILLA TRAIN!
2007-10-25 15:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by yungin4lyfe 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You started off by saying "a good friend of my fiances". That right there tell me that this girl is someone you have KNOWN for 5 years. Not someone you have been FRIENDS with for 5 years. There is a difference.
She has insulted you. Told you you would not have a "big" role in the wedding before she was even engaged. (As if you were just dying to be in her wedding). She has proven that she doesn't accept you for who you are (asking you to dye your hair). Made you feel insignificant by telling you that you are an understudy in case another bm drops out.
Not only would I decline but I also would not persue the friendship.
Don't accept any role in the wedding... not even guest book attendant. Don't help decorate. Don't help plan. Nothing. If you want to attend the wedding or any pre-wedding parties as a guest. That's fine, if you want to go as a guest. But leave your involvement at the guest level only. Do it for the groom if you want to. But it sounds like the bride is full of herself.
My bm's were friends that I have known for 20-25 years and were chosen because they are supportive friends who I can trust to help me face anything. They weren't chosen because of their looks and none were back-up plans.
2007-10-26 10:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a bridesmaid is not cheap at all. It is going to cost you a lot of money, plus all the time you will have to spend planning and helping and getting ready. It's a hassle. You should only do it if you really want to be part of this woman’s wedding day. It doesn't seem like she really cares about you all that much, so I wouldn't do it. She will only get worse too as her day gets nearer. You will regret it if you accept.
2007-10-26 10:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by Irony Of Poe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have to agree with everybody so far tell her no and if she ask why just say that you think it is better if you have a friend that is your friend not a freind that is a girl friend of a friend of the grooms to be cause no offence but how does she know that you all will still be talking after the wedding we had a guy who we thought was a good friend in our wedding and we have been married 11 years now and we have not seen him in the last 8 years so now we regret having him in the wedding so good uck and tell her no thank you
2007-10-25 22:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by christy b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
apparently if you are a second thought bridesmaid she doesn't really care about the wedding either. she just seems to be saying "whatever". she just wants to fill some spots. forget hurt, she is a moron. tell her that she has lost her ever lovin mind, and that you decline her oh so generous offer.
2007-10-26 10:58:20 · answer #5 · answered by m t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be hurt too. It sounds like she's interviewing people for jobs. She obviously has her mind set on how she wants things. If she's treating you like this now, what's it going to be like being her bridesmaid? I would decline on her offer.
2007-10-26 08:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by Rockit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you don't like this girl then say no. but if you do want to be friends with her and get over the stuff in the past then maybe being her bridesmaid will get you guys closer as friends. good luck!
2007-10-25 23:08:46 · answer #7 · answered by TJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, not only did she say you were her last resort before the wedding, she wants you to dye your hair, sounds like a bridezilla to me, that and if she wants you to dye your hair I could only imagine what else she wants done before the big day.
2007-10-26 02:31:20 · answer #8 · answered by chattergurl1986 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Decline, politely. She is already a bridezilla. Telling you what color your hair should be! That would be it for me. Also, it appears that you are "second" or maybe "third" choice.
I would definitely decline....save yourself a huge headache and some money!
2007-10-25 22:34:59 · answer #9 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'd decline. Sounds like there'd be too much stress down the road.
2007-10-26 10:13:46 · answer #10 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋