My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now, and he says he is ready but I'm not. We're only 15!!! And I'm a christian I would never do that unless we were married... He pushes me and makes me uncomphortable and I WON'T DO IT!!! I am coming close to breaking up with him but I love him too!! But he's making me so mad!!
how could he do that!! How do i tell him!! What to say!!?
thank you so much
2007-10-25 14:21:12 · 23 answers · asked by peach pie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi Peach
Wow this is a super hard one to deal with becasue one the one side they teach us not to do it before marriage. And on the other hand his body is telling him that he loves you so much we wishes he can express it with more then just words.he's not puching you as much as his mind is telling him God it's been long enought lets do it already. I have been more then patience with her. He will not stop and will only get worst and nothing you can say will stop him. Trust me i am a guy i know. So my advice it let him go and dont look back no matter how hard it will be and how hurt you both wil be . Loves really suxs.
2007-10-25 14:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by ho8er2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should never give up what your fighting for. If you don't want to have sex til marrage then just say NO. If he does not like that answer then you may have to break off the relationship. If you and he were ment to be then all things will work out. However, your just 15. Got to the movies or the mall, play video games. What ever it is you want to do to have fun, but sex shouldn't even be an option right now. I was 17 my first time and knowing what I know now I should have waited. I've been lucky enough not to have children like some of my fellow school mates. I'm now 37 and just planning children with my wife. It is definatly worth the wait. Good Luck.
2007-10-25 21:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by pine89_89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you, he would respect you. Right now for him, although he says its love or proof of love, it is only his hormones and his male need to score with you. Bragging rights.
Good for you for wanting to wait until you are married. I wish I had. Sex at 14 with my long term boyfriend (we were together 2 years) was the worst experience and biggest regret of my life. He went to school and told all of his friends who told all of their friends and by the end of the day I was a - for the lack of a better word - tramp. I do not think you want to be considered a tramp by anyone. Especially because you are a christian.
Even though I am many years older than you, I did not meet my husband until I was 23 ( I am 40 now). Even though being with him is still very special, I often wished I had the gift of my virginity to have given him.
Tell him no. Just no. He will have to wait until your wedding day.
If he cannot respect that, then my dear, it is time for you to move on, remember you are 15, and your real prince charming is out there somewhere and I promise you, both of you will be glad you waited for your marriage bed.
2007-10-25 21:36:13 · answer #3 · answered by rulestheroostwithkindness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should just respect you about it, you need to tell him honestly and openly, and soon. If he doesn't know, why are you dating? Bring it up at a time when you are NOT talking about sex, when he has not mentioned it, because otherwise he will just think you are just saying it to get out of it.
Sex should not be the be all and end all of a relationship, but it IS one of the most important foundations on which to build a strong relationship, I know from experience. If you aren't ready for sex, you shouldn't be having a relationship.
DON'T EVER compromise your own values, but let me just tell you my story. I lost my virginity when I was 15, so I think it's plenty old enough for you to have sex, and I'm 18 now and have been going out with the same man the whole time, we are building our future together and couldn't be happier.
Sure, you can save yourself for your husband, but please don't fall into the trap of thinking that sex is wrong or dirty, or that if you have sex you will have less value as a person, or that you won't be good enough to marry, 'damaged goods.'
No matter WHO you have sex with, no matter how many times, no matter what, you will NOT be a bad person. People will like to make you feel that way because they don't know how to deal with their own pleasure and they feel insecure.
Anyway, you never have to compromise, but just don't be thinking about how gross and wrong it is, when you DO get married, you will find the you need physical intimacy for your relationship to be cemented, and you will find out how much it can bring you and your loved one together.
I think you should probably dump your bf, too, but do let him know your values and beliefs. I'm sorry to say but since he is so into sex he might not want to date you anymore, but so be it, at least you won't have destroyed your values.
2007-10-25 21:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by myleslr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its time for you to find somebody who will respect and appreciate your values... Any guy who keeps trying to pressure you into something you dont want to do... Isnt worth your time... I hate to say it but be blunt with him... and tell him what gonna happend if he doesnt stop... I understand the love thing, but if he really loved you.... You wouldnt even have this question... And this is coming from a 23yr old... Ive been there and done that... Besides waiting til you get married... Is well worth it.. Good Luck
2007-10-25 21:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by asia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, girl. Sit him down and let him know that you're getting to the breaking point - he either respects your boundaries, or else the relationship has to stop. If he can't respect you for wanting to do what's right, especially if he knows you don't want to, then he's not worth it. If you haven't told him straight out that you're not going to have sex, tell him. Guys seem to be a bit dense at times.
Because if he doesn't respect you, if he realizes that he can walk all over you, then you've screwed yourself over. There needs to be respect in a relationship, because if there's not, then it's easy to become abuse.
2007-10-25 21:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Yuki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very proud of you because I know that you are doing the right thing ( Not to have sex yet ). I guess you should just tell him about your problem and that you are a Christian and stuff ...I am sure he will understand if he really loves you. If you guys just break up because of that then it means he loves U just for what you have not because of who you are.
2007-10-25 21:26:58 · answer #7 · answered by â?}-{annA]-[?? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you are not ready and if he dosen't listen then tell him he dosen't deserve you. Tell him if he really loves you, then he'll wait a few more years. I know its a moral sin, I'm Catholic. But did you know that it isn't a sin if you truly really love the guy like as if you were married, like true true love, (not puppy love), then it isn't a sin? But only if you truly really love the guy. I'm just like you, I believe in sex after marriage and not before.
2007-10-25 22:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by ady_oc_brody 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are still very young to do that, tell ur bf, you are not ready and if e not accept leave him, mean he dont care about you or dont love you. if he love you he will waiting until the time is right.
YOur future in your hands. REMEMBER THAT. Control your self dont make any mistake or you will regret.
your parents will so proud about you. keep that way girl :)
2007-10-25 21:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by aggadan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just tell him straight out. If he's pushing you or making you feel uncomfortable, then he's NOT a good guy. He's not respecting your wishes.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your values. You are so young, there's a lifetime of men out there - so ditch this loser and find yourself a NICE guy.
2007-10-25 21:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋