Ok, so I was just wondering if you can help me... Im not sure if this is the right place to ask this but Ill ask anyway... ok so me and my girlfriend have been dating for 7 months and we didnt start having sex until this month because I was waiting for her to be ready. But see... we had sex and now shes pregnantThis makes me love her even more, and I offered to marry her because I love her and I want to have this baby with her. But when I told her that she told me she hated me for getting her pregnant and shes just going to get an abortion! What do I do? I really want to do this with her but she wont let me!? Am I being to clingy? She is my first gf... should I just telll her off and let her be on her way? Im sooo confused!!
2007-10-25 13:50:20 · 10 answers · asked by Samuel H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im 18 right now
2007-10-25 14:03:14 · update #1
shes 17 right now
2007-10-25 14:05:14 · update #2
I'm guessing that the both of you are still fairly young. I honestly don't think she hates you, more then likely she just said that in the heat of the moment. Getting pregnant young is stressful, especially for the woman. To go through with it she'd have to give up going to college, travelling and just having fun like young people are supposed to. I think you just need to give her time, let her know that you're there for her, possibly even offer to go to the abortion clinic with her if she decides that's the way to go. If you love her, then you need to fight for her, don't just let her go on her way when the first hurdle comes up. Best of luck, hope everything works out for you.
2007-10-25 14:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by phoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you got her pregnant and when she does not want to marry you and have the child you want to "just tell her off and let her be on her way"......hmmmm.... no wonder she has doubts about what a marriage and family would be like with you - first sign of trouble and you're out the door and she's stuck raising the baby.
I'd suggest that you talk with her again at a time that you both are calm and open to talking.
Tell her that you love her and want to marry her - not just b/c of the baby. However, you understand that having and caring for a baby will be a bigger burden on her than it will on you. Ultimately, you understand that she has to make the choice that is right for her and you will support what ever decision she makes (be it have the child and raise, have it and give it up or have an abortion). Then be 100% supportive of the decision.
You did not say your ages but given that she is your first girlfriend - it's probably a teen pregnancy. Would she be able to go to college and raise a baby? Are you going to be able to go to work and pay for diapers, day care, formula, provide health insurance?
Yes...you want to "do this with her" but understand - the bulk of this will be carried by her and her family. This is a much bigger responsibility for her than it is for you. You both also need to talk to your and her parents.
2007-10-25 21:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by Boots 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really not trying to be rude, but if you were adult enough to handle this situation, you wouldn't be asking us whether you should marry your pregnant girlfriend, or whether you should tell her off and let her be on her way, in the same paragraph.
You did not hold her down - she was a willing participant,and she bears as much responsibility as you do. What really irritates me about this is that you two obviously talked about having sex, and you waited for months until she was "ready", but even then, it didn't occur to either of you to use protection.
If she is so angry and she wants an abortion, then she is going to get one. If you really love her, support her decision, and then PLEASE use a rubber for future sex, and make sure she gets on the pill, so you don't get into this stupid situation again. Don't bring a baby into this world, until you are both a lot more mature. And if she is going to have an abortion, she should do it as soon as possible. It is foolish and achieves nothing to wait, if she is absolutely sure she is going to abort.
2007-10-25 21:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by lighght30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very serious thing. First of all at all costs keep her from having an abortion. It is so wrong. I mean you just have to think that being pregnant is having a person inside of you and to get an abortion is like killing that person. Do you want that on your conscience for the rest of your life that you killed someone? Anyway she shouldn't be mad at just you because it was a part of her and a part of you that contributed to making this baby. My advice to you is to keep talking to her and make her understand that you are there for her and that you love her and the baby. She is probably under alot of stress being pregnant and all so take that into consideration when you feel like she is rejecting you. Just keep talking to her and pray that she under stands. ( by the way I'm a christian and i know that the Lord would help you if you just turn to him in prayer. let Him guide you through this hardship)
2007-10-25 21:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her have the abortion! It's what she wants and if she wasn't ready then there's nothing you can do. Stick by her side, because this is going to be a hard time for her. If she asks for space give her a little, but don't lose contact. Maybe one day, she'll be ready for a baby and you'll be there, if you stick by her side through thick and thin.
2007-10-25 20:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah! Thats heavy, ok first off she doesn't hate you. You seem young, I am assuming she is too, now shes confused scared ect. She doesn't hate you. Here whats you do, let her know you love her, that you'll be there for her whenevr she needed and whether she decided to keep the baby or not you accept her. Just give her time and space, let her come to youi but make sure she knows the mentioned above.
2007-10-25 20:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.umm.let her calm down first. cuz its probably the hormones.but if it doesnt rub off tell her how she would be killing a innocent human being and let her know its not right and tha your ready to buckle down and have this baby with her. noooooooo.dont tell her off.cuz she'll get even more pissed and will really go through with it. when it all comes to it, its her decision but MAKE it yours too.
good luck!!
2007-10-25 20:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by K.L.C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r in a complicated situation. if i were you, i would offer her all the help u can, but if she pushes u away, let her. she is just in a hard time, and she needs to think.
2007-10-25 20:56:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go talk to her mom about it...
2007-10-25 20:59:49 · answer #9 · answered by ykalex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woooowww buddy i have no idea wut to tell you
2007-10-25 20:55:36 · answer #10 · answered by Alyssaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋