How do I stop thinking about her and move on when she ends it with a text message?

Question

I was dating this 29 year old woman for 9 months. I am 36. About 4 months ago she told me she loved me and 2 months ago she said we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Last month things were great and we were spending more time together and she called every day. We live an hour apart so finding time together was hard. Then 3 weeks ago I sent a text on Saturday night saying I miss you and wish I could see you right now. About an hour later I called. A guy answered the phone and then gave it to her and she didn't have much to say. Anyway the next day she called and told me that she had been in a relationship with someone else since before we met. She said she had been trying to find a way to tell me and that I meant more. She said she needed time to get her life straight and we would be together. So I have been waiting for 3 weeks talking to her a few times a week. Then out of the blue she sends me a text message saying this is all my fault and now I am ending it. I still love he

I should have just ended it when I found out that she had two boyfriends, but the way things had been progressing the last month I thought that she was trying to get her act together and wanted to be with me. She told me she loved me every day and said stuff like we have the rest of our life to do things together. All she said was someone I had been talking to about this had contacted her sister and said something. I tried to tell her that I didn't ask anyone to do that. Then she sends me the text saying she is ending it and to never contact her again. I have done so much for her and love her with all of my heart. I just wish she could have at least called or met with me to end it. It is hard to move on when you have no closure at all. I was being so patient and giving her time to deal with it all. Why am I penalized for talking with a friend about things. I didn't know they would say something to her sister and her sister didn't know about our relationship.

I am pretty sure she is the one that sent the message because she was out of town for work at the time. I also left her a voicemail that night asking her to call me and talk about this at least if she was going to end it. Then the next day I sent her a text message saying I am sorry that I reacted by sending her several texts and trying to call and that I would be ok eventually. I never meant to hurt her and I would not contact her anymore if that is what she wants. I never heard anything back so I am pretty sure it was her and it is over. She said she would mail my stuff in the last text too. I do ok most of the time then I see or do something that reminds me of her and it all comes back. I know she lied to me and didn't treat me right but sometimes all I want is to be with her. Sometimes I feel like driving to her house and knocking on the door to see if she will at least talk to me and tell me in person it's over.

Answer 1

Does a huge hammer have to appear in the sky above you and strike you on the cranium. It's over, she picked the other guy before you.the fact that she lied to you doesn't make you a little angry? Move on because that is what you've got to do. As far as closure, you should have realized you were played for a sucker when she told you about the other guy, that should have got those rusty wheels turning in your head that It was finished, You really want sloppy seconds? Thats all you ever got. Sorry but don't believe every story your given, Now, forget the phone go out and do better this time . You deserve better than that.

Answer 2

UPDATE: At 36 years old you are being a bit obsessive and not in a good way. No relationship has an ideal ending when we are still in love with the person and not the one wanting it to end. Some questions in life have no answers, and like it or not we must move on without them. You say you need to know WHY it's over. She's made it pretty clear she does not want to be with you. Is that not reason enough? I know it's hard and you don't understand, but going over to her house after all of this is a bit stalkerish. As difficult as it is, let her go and move on. The best thing you can do is to let her think you aren't affected by this. Look at it this way- while you are home spending sleepless nights alone agonizing over her, she's at home spending sleepless nights in the arms of another man. I don't say that to be harsh- I say that so you will take a realistic view of this situation. Move on, she has.

Answer 3

I ve been in a same situation as u do be4. Guve urself some time,, forget her. She is not worth ur time.. In life we should not hold things too tightly..