I've been with him for over a year...We've had our ups and downs like any couple, but more ups than anything. We also spend an incredible amount of time together and plan to move in together in the next couple of months. I've been going through some deep family issues and he has been by my side and I truly appreciate that. This week everytime I see him he is so spaced out like Im not even there and I asked him what is wrong, but he says that he has issues at work and to bare with him. I want to know what I can do for him and be there for him but he says to instead leave him alone for a couple days...
Should I worry?
2007-10-25 12:07:03 · 28 answers · asked by Micaela 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think the best thing that you can do for him is to give him a little space on this issue. We all need a little space of our own even when we are in a relationship. I'm sure that things will work themselves out and eventually he will be able to talk to you about the things going on at work. Just give him some time to sort things out by himself first.
2007-10-25 12:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have enough information to be specific. If you are planning on moving in together I would think again. If you want to have this relationship last you might want to think about what it is you want out of life where your headed and if you both agree you need a plan especially if you plan to spend the rest of your life's together its not a game and if you think you have family problems now.I am talking about marriage here instead of a shack up the woman has a lot more to lose and you should know that. If he wants you he will marry you and commit to you and that means he can't be giving you the silent treatment. He needs to be an adult and tell you whats up when he can not put you off. And you need to be as open with him also. I would like for you to seriously consider what you are doing before you make a decision that will have a devastating effect on your life. If you need more advice let me know ..
2007-10-25 19:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by djtravis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs some space. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I am someone who needs to be alone sometimes and it makes things worse if someone keeps asking me what is wrong. Let him know that you will honor his request for space and then tell him that you will be there when/if he is ready to talk. He will either get out of his funk or not- worrying about it either way won't help. Just give him what he is asking for and he should come around. If not, you will know that you did all that you could.
2007-10-25 19:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. He still likes you.
Guys are like that. They space out when they have major problems in their life. You know why he's not telling you what is bothering him? He doesn't want you to worry about him. He likes you too much, it's that simple.
A guy doesn't want their girl to worry about their stuff since most girls go all out trying to fix their problems but then usually makes the problem more difficult.
He's got another things on his mind but he's still thinks about you. Don't bother him for a couple of days. When he feels ready to tell you, he's going to tell you. Don't force him to tell. It only makes him feel even more uncomfortable to telling you.
If after a long time, he doesn't saya word about what was bothering him before, but still seems happy and content, don't sweat it. He's done worrying and has gone back to caring you.
2007-10-25 19:27:51 · answer #4 · answered by Lark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody deals with issues differently. Maybe you like a shoulder to lean on, and maybe he needs some time and space to mull out what he is going through. You have to learn when to just be there when he needs you , and back off when needed too. I wouldn't worry too much, give it a couple days and then ask him if there is anything you could do. I leave my boyfriend alone to his own problems and he eventually brings them to me, but he usually just wants someone to listen not necessarily give him advice, and if he wants advice he asks for it.
2007-10-25 19:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by adriana7766 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All people go through these type of troubles. It sounds like he doesn't want to trouble you, or make you worry about whatever is happening at his job.
Just let him know that you are there for him if he is ready to talk to you about it. Tell him you support him in his decision and just want to be there for him when needed.
I would encourage him to talk when he is ready. Men react differently to different situations than women. They think they have to be tough and strong and do not need help. They think that if you tell them problems, that they have to fix the problems. He may be afraid you would want to try to fix his problem and it is his to fix.
Just give him a hug and tell him you are there for him. He will talk when he is ready. Are you planning on getting married besides just living with him? It is fine to give him his space, once you live together, that will be hard to do.
I don't plan on living with my boyfriend ever, unless we become married. I lived with a guy once. That was enough. Make sure that is truly the right thing for both of you. Best wishes to you and your boyfriend.
2007-10-25 19:14:27 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since he has been such a great guy, I think you should trust him. I think that's how guys can get, sometimes they just need space. They don't really handle things like girls, where they'd need to talk about it or needing help. It looks like he's given you plenty of reasons to prove that he likes you. Just ask if there's any way you can help, and if it's by giving him space...then maybe you should respect that and find a way to keep busy and next thing you know, things are back to normal.
2007-10-25 19:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by Victorie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would respect his wishes and give him some space. I know when I have issues, I like to be alone. When my bf has issues, he likes to talk. So we are all kind of different. Don't worry, just be there if he needs you. You have a lovely relationship.
2007-10-25 19:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by carol 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him his space like he wants...but in a couple of days make it a point to sit him down and talk with him... it doesn't necessary have to be about your relationship.. just about life in general you might get the answers your looking for before you jump into any conclusions... and if he keeps pushing you away that's when I would break out the whole "we need to talk about us" ... Good luck!!
2007-10-25 19:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by Nay nay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write him a letter.. not nagging, but actually telling him how much you appreciate the times he has dedicated to you in your tough times. Then, let him know you wish he had the same trust on you. Reasure him you love him and that you'll be patient, but if it's time that he needs then you'll do it. Sometimes, they just need to know they are being loved and that you're there no matter what.. if the letter thing doesn't work for you, then by all means, do it in person.. just be honest with him and support him..
2007-10-25 19:18:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋