I think to much!?

Question

Just wondering if any other new moms (or moms in general) go through this! Its not post partumn (I have talked to mine and his doctors about it). I am all around happy. Sometimes I just find myself worrying if I am doing a good job. And I worry about my child growing up in this world, and what I can do to help him be a good person. I also find myself lying awake at night with thoughts just running through my head. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you get your mind back on the postive track. I reall just want to make sure i am doing everything in his best interest. (new mom, can you tell, lol)

Answer 1

Personally, I think it's completely normal. I remember being that way. I think with time comes a sense of calm, and a realization that all you can control is the here and now, so you have to let go of worrying about what kind of 16 year old he'll be.

I'd suggest when you have these worries to remember that you only have control over the present, so you're just wasting your time. Perhaps put a little sticky on the fridge that says "one day at a time" or something, to remind you that you can only something about today.

It's also important that you realize that you're only worrying about this stuff because you clearly want to be a good mom. That's a good thing, no? :)

Answer 2

I think that this is normal, it's a lot of pressure being a parent. My advice is to relax and enjoy your baby at the age that he or she is right now since it goes by so fast. You can't change the entire world, it is a scary place but also an amazing one.

Get some parenting books and read up for reasurance. I like the First year one and the toddler years.
Again just focus on enjoying your baby right now.

Another thing that helped me out was joining a moms playgroup. This way I got to spend time with other moms and know that we all are feeling the same way. I have learned so much from the wonderful moms in my group that I am actually contemplating bringing another baby into this messed up world.

Answer 3

You sound like a mom to me.

Take a deep breath now and again and just enjoy your child.

But keeping an eye out for trouble is pretty much what parents do. Rent the movie 'Parenthood' with Steve Martin. It has a nice realistic perspective.

Answer 4

I am not a mum. I teach Elementary School and adore children. I am dedicated to understanding children's needs and development. I am familiar with parents' (esp.mums') anxiety towards their little ones. Also, since my two sisters and my mother-friends regularly discuss and share similar anxieities and worries with me, I hope my thoughts on this matter would help to ease your worries a little.

Each and every child is different and therefore special. Esp. in the eyes of their parents. In the same vein, each and every parent is anxious about bringing up their child the 'right' way.
About giving them enough love and support but not overdoing it and spoiling them. When there are grandparents and other care-takers involved, the situation is even more divided.

Ask yourself what you would wish for your child to be in his/her later years : To be kind and caring or to be self-sufficient, to be a team player and work towards a common goal or be individualistic and competitive, to not worry about money and enjoy luxuries or to be financially wise and and to be money-smart, to respect others and, to show respect to everyone regardless of colour ,class or creed, to be a globally open and wise person ? The list goes on and on...

Then think how you can teach, guide and motivate your child into their desirable qualities. Plan how you can model these behaviours and qualities at home and at school. Put these in motion in your daily life. Let everyone - grandparents, caretakers, friends of the family - know the good habits that your child has developed. Praise your child and recognise his/her efforts regularly.

Join mums' discussion groups online or in your local council.
Discuss and share your strategies with other well-menaing parents. You might discover other great ideas.

Recognise your child's strengths and weaknesses and guide him/her along. Talk and disucss with your child regularly. Help them to think matters through and then make their own decisions.

Do not force your child into any activity/interest or even personality which you can see is not desired by him/her. Stay in tune with your child's needs just by listening and being there with her/him as much as possible.

Do not over stress yourself. Do not let your child feel your anxiety or stress. Children pick up on these cues really easily.
My sister's daughter suffered from stress because my sis was always too anxioius around her and for her. This caused her daughter to be displeased with her school results even tho' she was doing very well.

Make your home environment happy,supportive and nurturing.
Help your child love and appreciate herself by showing love and appreciation with lots of hugs and cuddles and "I LOVE YOU's '. This is very important to your child's self-esteem and respect.

Keep yourself confident, happy and strong by reading parents' magazines and articles online. There are a myriad of parenting websites that are very useful.

www.family.go.com
www.webmd.com/parenting/guide


Be proud of yourself as a mother and enjoy your motherhood with your child. Your child will respect and love you for it all, in the later golden years.

"PREPARE YOUR CHILD FOR THE ROAD AND
NOT THE ROAD FOR YOUR CHILD".

Chins up, and get some sleep. Best Wishes.

Answer 5

just by your question i think you are doing well, the moms who ask and wonder if they are doing a good job are usually the best moms. keep in mind that you are raising a beautiful blessing and that will keep you positive. i have 3 boys, and i know exactly where you are coming from. good luck and God bless

Answer 6

Sounds like a light case of anxiety. If it gets worse, talk to your doctor again.

Answer 7

let someone watch the baby and go to a spa for the day