I'm graduating from college in December and I mentioned to my mother that I would love a certain necklace that I've had my eye on at James Avery. Its about $130 and is very classic and timeless.
I paid for college by myself (with student loans) and I worked while I was there.
My mom seemed fine with my request and seemed happy to oblige. My dad, however, felt it necessary to say "Aren't you getting enough at graduation already?" To which my inner response is "You mean the degree that I WORKED FOR and PAID FOR?" Well, if that's what you mean, then yeah I guess I'm just a selfish brat.
I know I won't be getting money or anything like that for graduation (my extended fam's not close.) So am I really out of line in my request? I mean, some people get new cars and stuff!
2007-10-25 11:42:55 · 17 answers · asked by lauren 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Technically, my mom didn't ask me what I wanted, but when I saw the necklace she said "It might be a good graduation gift." So I said that I would love it...
2007-10-25 11:59:06 · update #1
They are your parents. That is not unreasonable at all. The kids that get cars are spoiled, but a $130 necklace is reasonable.
2007-10-25 11:49:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's always wrong to ask for a gift. A gift is something given from the heart. However, if you are confident that you mother is getting you a gift, and is really "fishing" for what you want, I would give her 3 or 4 ideas.
I'm a mother with older children, and it just takes the fun out of getting them a gift if they ask for it. It then becomes an obligation.
And just a side note, for those whose parents did put them through school, the student should probably buy the Parent a thank you gift.
2007-10-25 12:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello!!! lauren,
As a fellow Texan I would say it all depends on who you ask. Myself I would not ask for one. In case you don't know I am sixty years old, and as for me I would not ask. I only graduated from High School but mom and dad paid for my class ring. I wanted some things but I knew they could afford them, so I did not ask.
I am not saying that you are wrong or right. I can't do that because I don't know you that well. I have to say don't ask and see what happens.
GREAT GOING on what you did in college and Congrats. You did a great job. Enjoy life whatever happens.
So long for now,
Bulldog
2007-10-25 17:16:23 · answer #3 · answered by BULLDOG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your request is reasonable. You did pay for your education... (which I did as well). The necklace would be a nice keepsake from your parents. I hope your dad comes around.
Graduating from college is a big deal and a wonderful accomplishment. Congratulations!
2007-10-25 12:08:41 · answer #4 · answered by Lizzie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Firstly congratulations on working and getting through your education. Well done. You do have something to be proud of.
But I do have to ask, did you have to go that way because your parents couldn't afford to support you doing that? Are they less than well off? Are they helping pay for a graduation party for you? Only you know your family situation, so only you know if your request was a fair and reasonable one. But whatever the outcome, remember they are your family.
Good luck with the future.
2007-10-25 12:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I probably would have waited until my family asked if I would like something in particular for graduation.
Your mother seems fine, I'd just leave it alone now and see what happens.
I've worked hard for everything in life, just because others get extravagent gifts doesn't mean any of us are entitled.
As opposed to being resentful at others, you could buy a gift to yourself for graduation.
2007-10-25 11:52:22 · answer #6 · answered by Latte 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Since your mom did mention it would be a good graduation gift, it means she has intentions of giving you a gift. Now that she knows you like it, leave it to her to decide to buy it or not. If she does give it to you, be very appreciative , if she doesn't, let it go. It means your parents are not big on gifts, so you can in turn not be big on giving them gifts too.
On second thoughts, shouldn't you be showing them gratitude for bringing you up, for breast feeding you when you were a baby, for changing your diapers for 2-3 yrs, for bathing you when you were a baby, for paying for all your birthday parties, holidays, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, books school fees etc etc for all 18-19 yrs of your life, by giving them a "filial piety" gift ? Don't always think about what they should give you, but what you should give them.
2007-10-25 14:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's actually not polite to ask for a gift on any occasion, but if your mother asked you what you would like for graduation, it would have been fine to tell her about the necklace. It was rude of your father to say what he did, but unfortunately parents sometimes speak their minds to their children without thinking. Congratulations on your graduation!
2007-10-25 11:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by EvilWoman0913 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you could have waited for your mom to ask what you wanted, but I think it's fine to have told her like you did.
I don't know what went on between her, your dad, and you, but it sounds like he said that to be mean. In which case keep your mouth shut and your head down, you'll be able to support yourself soon.
I don't think your request was out of line if it's affordable for your parents. But don't start comparing yourself to people with more privileges, it will just make you bitter.
And congratulations for completing your studies!
2007-10-25 11:55:35 · answer #9 · answered by noname 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If it was anyone except your parents, I would say you should never ask for presents. But this is your mom and dad, and it's not like you demanded it-you gave them a hint. I don't think you were out of line.
2007-10-25 14:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Lou 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋