At what age does it become inappropriate for a child to sleep in bed with parents?

Question

My better half insists it is ok for her daughter to sleep in bed with us. At what age does this become inappropriate? Is this normal?

Answer 1

I think after like four everyday is unreasonable, I mean seriously parents need to have time alone. But every once and while if they have a nightmare or something makes sense. My one year old sleeps in a cribe in our room, if she cries we normally take her into our bed. My five year old comes in when she gets scared, which is fine cause its not all the time. Some kids take longer then others to want to sleep on their own. My daughter who is now 15 tried to sleep in our bed until she was about 8, sometimes you have to tell them its time for them to sleep on their own. But it is normal, they are attatched to you cause your their parent and its where they are most secure. Give it time, when she falls asleep try moving her to her bed, eventually she will just stay there. I don't think there really is an age that it becomes inappropriate, its your child, when my husband is away my oldest will sometimes come sleep my room with me, or all of them, its whatever you and your wife feel comfortable with.

Answer 2

I am a single mom and my son is 10 and my daughter is 8. I will admit that I don't get a good nights sleep with them in my bed but every once in a while I let them climb in and sleep with me. I personally find it bonding for us and think it has brought us closer together as a family unit. We tell stories and talk about things going on. They don't mind sleeping in their own beds, but I think it also helps them feel more secure and closer to their mother. Everyone is different though and if I were still married, I would say that it was not a good idea...probably one reason of many that I am divorced. =)

Answer 3

I'm single mother of three boys all four and under and every night my two oldest climb in my bed while I'm sleeping and no matter how many times I send them back to thier beds they always end right back in my bed its gotten to the point where I given up on fighting it cause of already being up all night with my 2 month old I just don't know what to do anymore

Answer 4

about 10

Answer 5

This is a personal question. In our cuture,
having a child sleep with the parnets when
really little is frowned upon, but some people
do that for various reasons. In other cultures
it is widespread when they are really little.

In our situation, our little son was not sleeping well. I tried everything so ended
up putting him to be with my and me........
he was really little...........he went right
to sleep but the problem was, he got
used to it. Of course we were never
intimate with him around.............that I
would say is NEVER appropriate, even
if they are fast asleep. You would have
to find another time/place for that when
the child is totally out of the room.........

If you feel it's not appropriate for you
you might try talking more to your spouse.....
I don't know the age you are referring
to.........

I think it depends on the family but in our
case, it worked out well except that our
child got used to it and it was hard to
break but it was definitely at least better
than him not sleeping and we all at
least got sleep.

There are articles and info about this
online, I would do a yahoo search about
it.

There is a danger when it's a small baby
or small child that a parent could unintentionally roll over on top of the child
and harm him.......I don't think this happens
often, but it is a consideration.

One possible solution with a very young
baby/child is to give them their own
bed but keep the bed in the bedroom with
you.........this does NOT solve the time
alone issue, obviously but at least
you have more space/privacy.........

Check out "attachment parenting" by
Dr. Sears. Some people believe babies
and young children need to receive
a lot of attention, holding, etc naturally..
however, not every parent can live up
to this ideal either and it could drive
a parent "nuts" if they try to do something
that goes beyond what they can actually
cope with.

Good parenting can take different forms,
and when you love your spouse and
child, you will find solutions that work for
you........it may not be the same as another
family.......You do have needs and limits,
too.

Don't feel bad that you have limits and needs, too, as a parent and person.
Early years are great but also very demanding. I think the child needs to
know you love him/her and will take
care of him/her and that can take various
forms so long as they are moral, ethical,
legal, etc.

You can find other people online who feel
as you do, then nicely share that with
your spouse. Sometimes spouses are
unaware of the other's needs and sometimes a spouse gets neglected unintentionally when there is a baby or
yound child.

We had arguments because my dear
h wasn't spending time w me, (was doing
his best) and I got worn out caring for my
young child all day..........and needed breaks, and needed my h...........

I advise to avoid arguing if you can
(it escalates) but try to find a time to
nicely and calmly share.

Answer 6

My daughter is 4 and sneaks in my bed at night with me. I can not stand it, i make her go back to her room and stay there, she always wants to sleep with me. I don't think parents should let there kids sleep in their beds at all, kids need to be in their own beds, to get better nights sleep . I think kids should sleep in their own beds from day one, unless there is a really bad storm outside and they are scared, but other then that i don't like it , but that is just me. I sleep so much better when she is not in my bed and she does too.

Answer 7

That's something for a couple to decide. In some cultures, the child can sleep with the parents until reach puberty or longer. This is called co-sleeping by the way. You can look it up. I PERSONALLY don't think I'd let child older than 3 sleep CONSISTANTLY with me in the bed. Once in a while would be okay if they have a bad dream or whatever. That's up for you and your partner to decide.

Answer 8

It depends on the child. Most children grow out of it by five years of age. Then there are those with disabilities like Asperger's Syndrome (autism) that sleep with their parents until in their teens, but it all depends on the child and the parent too. If you could explain how the child acts I might be able to tell you more about it.
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Answer 9

well I did, on occasion, till I was about 8 or 9...and only when there was a really bad thunderstorm and I was scared. I think that 8 or 9 is an okay age to be in a parent's bed on occasion, but not every single night. Once my dad showed me that thunderstorms were actually really cool I was fine in my own bed from there on out....I was probably 9 then.

Answer 10

At whatever age the child is when either the child or one of the parents becomes uncomfortable or unhappy with the sleeping arrangements.