I've met the most wonderful girl in the world. She really is adoreable and sweet and caring. Problem is, she says that she doesn't find me physically attractive. When we have sex it's really close. Lots of kissing and holding and gazing into each others eyes etc. Not the usual "bang bang" garbage that I've been used to. This is causing me a massive amount of confusion. When I'm with her, she makes me feel desirable in ways that I haven't felt before from girls that have said they do find me attractive. She says to her that what's important is the way I make her feel special and loved, but it's left me feeling nervous and it's leading to insecurity in me. Part of me says that what she shows me in a physical way should over-ride what she says and I am having real trouble connecting the two anyway cause of the desire in her eyes when we're close. I really don't know what to do, think or believe. I feel that the insecurity and lack of feeling attractive to her will eat away at me.
2007-10-25 09:44:26 · 22 answers · asked by nice_lancashire_fella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like she's using you. Does she not like your body (you can work out) or your face, or more than that. If you don't want to have a relationship, do nothing. You're getting sex with a person you care about. If you do really want to be with her, you should stop having sex with her and determine if there is really a chance for you to get with her and give her a chance to think about what she would be missing without you. If you don't you'll just end up getting dumped when she decides to have sex with someone she does find physically attractive.
EDIT- HOW CAN SHE BE HAVING SEX WITH YOU IF SHE DOESN'T FIND YOU PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE? She playing with your head.
2007-10-25 09:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by cashmaker81 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People just say stuff to get you angry but, she should of been a respectful person and say srry I didn't mean that. I'm srry, I love you. Something like that you know. Yaa that will bug guys but, there are certain stuff men say to girls that are hartful and stuff. She should except you for who you are. Even if you are gaining weight. If I were her, i'd respect you cause you are a good person. I know a friend who has a bf that is very good and she is amaing to him but, just like u and this girl, these people get in fights a lot and arguemnts. They always do good and better. the girl made a new friend he was a guy and he did soo many good things a better things, she told me she was starting to fall for this guy. She couldn't she only stayed friends with him. I asked why just to c what she'd say. She didn't want to make the mistake on losing a person who is good to her. You need to talk to this girl about how you feel and how she feels for you. Ask her if she has any feelings for this guy or not. I'm trying to give you the best advice I have. I'm srry. She should have said that to you. i thing you deserve respect from your girlfriend. People these days are tend to cheat and I really hate that. Just becareful. Good luck. Here's a lil saying "Don't cheat. If you're not happy just leave."
2016-03-13 06:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you should get over the attraction thing. You dont need to find her attractive and vice versa. Assuming you did marry her the grass would always be greener on the other side of the fence for both of you anyway.
Half the time when adults say they find each other attractive they dont mean it anyway, its just something you tell someone else to make them feel good whether you mean it or not.
It all comes down to if you two can find each other to look disgusting and it wont matter to either of you. The sex ceases when you get married anyway, maybe a year after if you are lucky you will get it once a week.
All marriage is in the end is two people who want to settle down and end all the he said she said drama and get rid of the dating scene and get stabilized and perhaps have children.
At this point I have been married about 5 years and I could care less whether my wife finds me attractive, and I dont particularly find my wife's body to resemble any of the big stars, but lack of exercize and having children will do that to people. Neither one of us looks anywhere near we did when we started dating a decade ago.
That being said, I still care about her and I would do anything to make her happy, and thats all that counts.
Raiddinn Beatdropper
2007-10-25 10:18:14 · answer #3 · answered by Raiddinn Beatdropper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, a girl out for a good time im sorry to hear that the she has destroyed a sense of a bond that was just a feeling that you were having.love between two people requires the both parties be present completely. otherwise its just a wham bam. times like these people are insecure about there bodies which is why plastic surgery has made trillions . you have to use what was given to you man made etc.money will not buy you happiness there is someone waiting just for you and shes not it ! but, the one that is waiting will make your man-hood thrive and will never knock it down and you my friend you will be the envy of all you know so, write this off for experience and learn from it . shes waiting...go find that special some-one. bye.
2007-10-25 10:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by b.johne k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to address this with her. It sounds like she might be playing games with you, which isn't fair. Of course, if she honestly doesn't find you physically attractive but still enjoys having sex with you, then she clearly can separate those factors in ways most people can't. I'd also try to find out what she does find physically attractive. While I rarely suggest changing for someone, there may be things you can do, like getting into better shape, that would be both beneficial (or at least not harmful) for you and make you more attractive to her.
2007-10-25 10:05:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find out what it is that she finds unattractive in you, and from this point on you have two choices.. 1. If it is something that is of your making (such as you're fat, are full of pimples, or there is some type of hygiene problem, etc..) then FIX IT and proceed with your relationship. 2. If it is something that you cannot control (such as a inoperable growth, birth defect, or discoloration of skin, etc..) take a bow, and move on. because you're right.. if this is something that you cant fix, then it will drive you mad, and it will eat you alive... and that is no way to leave.
There is something to note here, she is definitely into the sex, and whatever she finds unattractive about you is not as strong as what she gets from being with you. So there might be something there. you just have to ask yourself if this is a person you can trust to not play with you in the long run. it is a little insensitive of her to reiterate that you are not physically attractive to her, to the point that it affects your self esteem. just do what is best for you my man, remember, women will come and go, but with each one, you must build yourself up, not let them tear you down. Best of luck!
2007-10-25 10:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in my opinion you may just want to take a break for a while. you need someone that thinks that you are physically attractive as well as mental and all other ways. you NEED all of that, just like everyone does. so if its not there, just find someone different that gives you all of that and you give all of that to her. there is no reason that you should let it eat you up inside. its her loss anyway if she doesnt. dont worry about it to much there are plenty of females out there just start searching for the right one. and stay in touch, after a while things may change and she may see you differently so then everything may fall into place. hope this helps
2007-10-25 10:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about her her her and not you. You're not important. She is.
2014-11-30 12:09:57 · answer #8 · answered by That Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her down and have a face to face conversation with her. Ask her "What actually did she mean by that"? Be sincere...If she can look you in your eyes and be honest with you and explain what she mean from the heart............She's a keeper!!
There are alot of men who are not Physically Attractive BUT Mentally Attractive. Sometimes its not about the looks......... It might be the way you make her feel..
2007-10-25 09:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by WOO WOO 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about you - but I wouldn't want to be with someone that didn't find me physically attractive. Especially if it leaves you with a constant sense of insecurity.... why would she tell you something like that??
2007-10-25 09:48:34 · answer #10 · answered by Challah back Girl... 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋