No one has been in her life since her dad left a couple of years ago. She has never seen anyone with her mum since then and possibly cant remember her dad since she was only two when he left. I get on really well with the child, and vise versa, but my girlfriend could use some advice on how to approach the subject!
Any help with this would be most apreciated.
2007-10-25 09:15:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
At that age the child isn't really going to have much concept of the issues. So be introduced as a "Friend" and she'll get used to you in no time.
Everything from there will just fall into place.
2007-10-25 09:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by Felidae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say advice on how to approach the subject i presume you mean telling her that her mum has a boyfriend.I have been in the same situation myself and I just started talking about my new partner more and bringing him up in conversation. We arranged for him to come round for tea a couple of times a week and built up to a fun day at the zoo together.I think the main thing is that she knows her mum isn't going to change with her in any way but to let her know you can all have fun together
2007-10-25 16:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by k3kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four year olds tend to take most things at face value- the only thing that she may be concerned is if she feels you are taking her mum's attention. You need to give her lots of attention and show her she is gaining something not loosing her mum. Just do it slowly and explain that mummy needs a friend and you are her special friend.
If you already get on well i dont think it should be too hard- just be aware if she gets concerned she will prob attention seek or play up.
Take it easy, casual and show her lots of love- kids this age adjust quickly.
2007-10-25 16:27:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With my partner I didn't tell my daughter I was seeing him but I asked her how she thought I could get him to be my boyfreind. We had a little giggle and she came up with ideas, In the end She wrote him a note for me saying "will you be my mums boyfreind" It made her feel included and part of getting us together. We had already been seeing each other a while already but she thought he was just a freind. If she feels included and part of it all she may take things better than you think. My daughter calls my partner Dad now and is very happy. Good luck.
2007-10-25 16:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by Charley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad died when i was seven and the one thing i feared was that my mum would love some one more than me if she met some one else, she don't be suprised if she is rude i was. Umm, tell her to say that she is still the most specail person to her mummy and that she while always come first. Introduce as friends maybe and take it from there. Go out then find out if she likes you. Don't be shocked for a bad reaction though
2007-10-25 16:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all a 4-year-old needs to know is you are mom's special grown-up friend. she could explain to her daughter that you like to spend time together, because you get along well and enjoy each other's company. it doesn't need to be much more than that.
if you planned on marriage or something - that'd be a different subject all together, but i'm sure there's a gentle way to approach that as well.
i wish you lots of luck, b/c it seems as though you genuinely care for both ladies and that's awesome!
2007-10-25 16:22:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I don't think its really necessary to tell her anything shes very young 4 years old --you will be her mammy's special friend until you want to take things a step further and as long as your all happy that's what counts --
just be there for her mam and her when it counts that's the main thing
good luck-just remember they have been hurt once
2007-10-25 16:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by Elen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i wouldn't say anything to her, she is just 4!
If it starts to get very serious, and i mean wedding bells, then perhaps sit down with her, together with her mother, and explain how much you love her mother and how much you love her, and that you want to become a permanent part of the family, so thats why you are going to marry her mother,
You are not her father, but will be trying to become a good imitator of one,
2007-10-25 17:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by BUTTERFLY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she already knows about you.... What is there left to tell a 4yr old???? They don't need to understand the physical part, only that you are good friends and like to be with each other...
She will begin to ask her mother more about the relationship as she gets older...
2007-10-25 16:27:48 · answer #9 · answered by Joey_Pit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just being around all the time you will become accepted. No need to explain to the 4 year old, unless she asks then you guys just give simple answers.
2007-10-25 16:23:29 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋