Friends nine year old girl....left home alone??

Question

I have a friend who continually leaves her nine year old girl home alone so she can work. Her husband has a steady first shift job and she works three jobs...she's a realtor (new to the business so the pay hasn't really taken off yet and she only gets commission), another job that calls her when she needs her during the day, and she works part-time nights four days a week. I don't know how she does it, but her daughter gets left in the dust.

Anyway...there's teacher's convention today and tomorrow and her Grandma was supposed to come and get her this morning. An hour and a half later, she texts me and says that she's "really scared...Grandma isn't here yet....I hate bening home alone". I asked her if she could call her Grandma to see if she's on her way. She told me "No, Mom and Dad only have cell phones so I can't call anyone." God...what if something serious happened and she needed to dial 911?? I'm tempted to report my friend as I really feel for her daughter.

What should I do?

Mom says she can stay home alone as she "took a course on home safety at the hospital...she knows what to do". I, too, feel that it's neglect; however, I don't know her entire situation.

I meant instant message, via computer. Yes, t his is a TRUE story. Why would I ask for advice if it was made up???

I can't just run over to get the girl...she lives 40 min. away.

Answer 1

this is child neglect.. children who are left home alone shouldnt be younger than 12.. and should have a way to contact mom and dad and 911

you should talk to your friend and let her know this behavior is unacceptable... she needs to hire someone to watch her, or put her in daycare... if its too expensive there are government agencies that will help with costs depending on what state she lives in...

Answer 2

In my state (missouri) it's illegal to leave a child home alone who is under the age of 12. I would talk to the mom first before calling the police and having this little girl thrown into the system. Maybe you could offer to watch her since you obviously care about her. Some people just don't think!! No a nine year old should not be home alone, in the event of an emergency she would not remain calm most likely and she is for sure at risk if the wrong person were to find out she were home alone. There are a lot of sick people out there and just looking for a child in this situation to prey on. Personally I don't see how the mom does it, this would scare me to death and I wouldn't be able to focus on anything but the fact that my daughter might need me.

Answer 3

I don't know what state you live in, but in Ohio a child must be 11 years old before he/she can be left alone. (My husband's friend is a single dad and looked into this.)

Point is, that although the parents are working and maybe even think that they are doing what is best, they are not. They are breaking the law. They are putting their daughter in danger. What if a burglar showed up or what if she fell and hurt herself or what about a fire? There are too many scenarios here that worry me.

I wouldn't mention it to the parents because I am certain that your friend will justify why she does it and then if you decide to turn them in she will know who did it. Contact your local Childrens' Services and notify them of what is happening (you can do this anonymously). If everything else in the home is ok, then they won't take her away. The courts will just see to it that she has a babysitter from now on.

Thank you for considering this child's safety!!! We need more people like you to protect these innocent children!

Answer 4

I guess I'm not understanding what your saying. How can she text you if she doesn't have a phone? I'll assume you mean she IM'd you through Yahoo or something.

Could YOU possibly stay with her? Or perhaps she could stay at your house until someone comes home? If her dad works first shift, why isn't he home when she gets out of school?

Sounds like there is possibly some neglect going on. Should the parents have their child taken away? I don't know. I don't know the ins and outs of the situation. It sounds like the mom is trying to do everything she can to provide for this child (financially speaking), so she can't be THAT bad of a mother.

Maybe instead of running straight to the police, you could have a talk with your friend. Tell her your concerns. Offer to help (if you can/want to). There's other options.... Calling the police or social services could literally destroy this family. MAKE SURE you have your facts straight before calling anyone.

Answer 5

Regardless of whether this kids is old enough or responsible enough to be home alone, she needs access to a phone for emergency purposes. I wouldn't normally say a kid of nine needs a cellphone, but this is definitely one of the exceptions.

You should tell your friend that her daughter was scared enough to IM you even though you are too far away to help in an emergency, and that her grandma didn't show when she was supposed to. What if the police had called for some completely non-connected reason, say to ask if they'd seen anything happening the night before related with a local break-in, and she'd opened the door thinking it was grandma? Mum might have got home to find the kid taken away from her.

Answer 6

Reporting the parent right away is uncalled for. Perhaps the parents aren't aware the dangers or leaving her at home.

It's not necessarily neglect, although it can be depends how you look at it. Neglect is failing to provide the child's needs. What about the latchkey kids as young as 4 or 5 even, going home by themselves and being alone for the day before their parents come home from work? That's usually during the day though, never heard of many parents leaving their child home alone at night.

Before you report, you should have a talk with the parents that it's important to find a daycare, a sitter for the girl, a relative to stay with her, or to manage time for her cutting back on night shifts. And if the girl is to be alone at home, she should at least have a cell phone and resources she can have access to. Be sure you discuss the options and alternatives.

Answer 7

From a legal standpoint, it depends on where you live.

For example, in Fairfax County, VA the age guidelines are as follows:

7 years and under:
Should not be left alone for any period of time. This may include leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds, and backyards. The determining consideration would be the dangers in the environment and the ability of the caretaker to intervene.

8 to 10 years:
Should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.

11 to 12 years:
May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.

13 to 15 years:
May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.

16 to 17 years:
May be left unsupervised (in some cases, for up to two consecutive overnight periods).

The department of Social Services should be able to tell you the guidelines for where you live.

From a personal opinion standpoint, if the child is afraid she should not be left alone. Period. That's an unfair thing for a parent to do to a child.

Answer 8

This is really a tough one. Are you ready to loose your friend? 9 is fairly young..... she's either in the second or 3rd grade.... I don't think I ever had to spend time at home alone until the third grade... and then it was only for short periods.

Why don't you speak to your friend and share your concerns for her daughter spending time alone like that.... And tell her that if something happened that her daughter had to call 911 would probably mean than social services would be called in due to the age of her daughter and most likely her daughter would be removed from the home....

Being a Realtor... she'll only get commission as long as she just stays a Realtor....

Answer 9

First try having a heart to heart with her and tell her about the text and how scared her daughter was and how scared you where. Maybe suggest finding a close friend who's parents wouldn't mind watching her a few days out of the week until she gets home from work or offer to take her for a few hours once or twice a week if you can. If you don't see any change after that then yes, report her.

Answer 10

The legal age to stay home alone in most states is either 12 or 13. If parents are leaving a 9-year-old home alone with no means to alert authorities to an emergency (no telephone) then the parents are most likely guilty of child neglect.

In some states, failure to report known neglect is also a crime.

Answer 11

You should have gone over there to get the girl and then you should have a serious talk with your friend! It is very dangerous for a 9 year old to be alone "with no phone no less!" in a time of many child molesters running around etc. Her Grandmother never showed up!!!!!!! This sounds like a tragedy waiting to happen! Family sounds dis functional!