I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. We live together with his room mate, and are moving out on our own come January. Lately Ive been feeling so lost.. like I dont know who I am anymore. And I've been feeling like I just want to have fun, not be in a serious relationship. But he's so perfect. Hes what every girl could ever want. Hes so nice, sweet, funny. He helps me out with anything i ever ask ( and lots of the time I dont even need to ask). But I just feel like its not right for me right now. Am I a terrible person?! I dont want to break his heart .. but I dont want us to move out and then break up and then he has no room mate either!
What should I do? Should I follow the part in me that says
"Just stick with it. Hes ever girls dream guy! He loves you to bits!!" or should I follow the
" Your only 20! Go out and have some fun! Find who you really are. Dont worry about anything!"
2007-10-25 06:48:45 · 20 answers · asked by flygurl_037 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not wanting to hold onto him untill i "find something better"... i just needed some advice for a heavy heart .
2007-10-25 07:48:05 · update #1
Ok the question isn't if you should keep him because he is "what every girl wants". You should ask yourself if he is "what YOU want". After you understand that part a little more you should know and if that still doesn't help.
I think you are getting cold feet about him like right before your wedding. You may be thinking that just by you two moving out together would mean that you are 'married' but you are not. It is certainly a step up in the relationship but not at the marriage step yet.
Well lastly, I just think you don't want to settle yet and I think that is fine. You don't have to settle that early, it is kind of early you know. So just keep it in the dating status and have some more fun before you even think that far.
Meeh relationships don't always have to move forward, try moving sideways a bit too you know (:
2007-10-25 06:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by yewieh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. you are only 20, and have some very big decisions to make. I can only say that either way you decide, you need to have a plan. Your not married, and you have so many things yet to discover about the world, and yourself. If it doesn't feel like you would die with out him, well, then chances are good that you won't. If you stay because you don't want to hurt him, that's not being fair or honest to him or to yourself. If you classify him as every girls dream, and you don't want to give him up, until something else better comes along, you are really doing him no favors. You can't sandbag a man, because you 'might' want him later. Be honest with him, and with yourself. If your engaged are even married, that makes things a little different, but you are the one who has to live with the decision. You are not responsible for anyone Else's emotions, but you are responsible to be fair and honest.
Sucks to say but this is one of the first steps to being a grown up, and none of the ones that follow are any easier. You may be giving up the best thing you have ever had, but it may be too that you are freeing him to find the best thing he will ever have, and freeing yourself to learn, love and grow. Learn to be happy with yourself, then when you get into your next relationship, you can be that much stronger, and independent.
2007-10-25 07:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by frameliner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flygurl, the gut is usually a better decision maker then the heart. Have an honest and open conversation with this fella and let in on how you've been feeling and what you've been thinking lately. He is going to want for you whatever makes you happy I bet. Besides if you're both your hearts in it 100% it isn't meant to be at this time. Perhaps a little freedom will allow you to either find someone else or to see that this guy is all you wanted all along. Either way you at least tried to make your life feel more complete and were brave enough to be honest with your man. Best of luck to each of you.
2007-10-25 06:56:10 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would follow the latter. I think it is good to experience a lot before you commit to a single person. It may well be that your current boyfriend may be the best fit for you, but you never really know until you get to know other people. Don't stay with someone because you don't want to hurt his feelings. Don't you think it would be better to grow up a little more, have a little fun, see what you really want now instead of continuing to go along with someone when you don't feel quite right about it? I would be honest and gently explain this to your boyfriend.
2007-10-25 07:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by G.V. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DON'T THINK THAT U AN HIM SHOULD MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH THE ROOMMATE IF UR NOT REALLY SURE ABOUT WHAT U WANT 2 DO YES U MIGHT REALLY LOVE HIM BUT IF U STAY WITH HIM AN DON'T GO OUT AN MEET NEW PEOPLE UR ALWAYS GOING 2 WONDER COULD THERE HAVE BEEN SOME OUT THERE BETTER 4 U SO I THINK U SHOULD SIT HIM DOWN AN TALK 2 HIM AN LET HIM NO HOW U FEEL AN IF HE TRULY LOVES U HE WILL UNDERSTAND WHERE UR COMING FROM AN RESPECT YOUR DECISION AN LIKE THEY SAY IF U REALLY LOVE SOMEONE U HAVE 2 LET IT AND IF IT COMES BACK IT MEANS SO MUCH MORE
2007-10-25 07:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jasmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing happen when i was about your age. I was with my boyfriend for about 2 years and i just felt restless...
I took a brake from the boyfriend and did my own thing and had fun. Hung out with friends and went to the bars... enjoyed being single.
It lasted about 2 months before i started to really miss that boyfriend and the relationship that i threw away. In the end i ended up getting back together with that boyfriend. I was lucky enough that he understood what i was going through and he took me back. We were together 4 years and got engaged...
So, if you do break up with him, just don't expect him to be waiting for you when you are ready to settle down. Because chances are you're not gonna get as lucky as i did an have him still want you. I know i was shocked that he took me back after all i did.
So Good Luck!
2007-10-25 06:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by Dawnwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just asking this question gives you your answer. Since you have doubts as to what you should do, that means follow your gut instincts. You are only 20 and that really is young to make a lifelong committment. If you don't know who you are now, it's not going to get better. Most likely, you will fee resentment towards him because you weren't able to do what you really wanted with your life. If you are meant to be together, it will happen at another time.
2007-10-25 07:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at least you have the heart to say question yourself. Look if you really really feel like this is not for you then you should let him know. I mean do you really want to be responsible for "a good guy gone bad"? Waiting to tell him after you guys move is a very bad mistake in my opinion. Hope this helped some.
2007-10-25 06:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe you are the best person to answer that question,u need to ask urself if you trully love this guy and if you want to go to the next level with him.if your answer is an affirmative yes then i say go for it girl,but if u still have an iota of doubt about the love u feel for him then i say forget about it.Dont move in with the guy cos if u do u might make life miserable for each other,his roommate still acts as a buffer between you guys cos u guys are all still together.
2007-10-25 06:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by cutey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just 20????
Go out and have some fun!
Find who you really are . Dont worry about anything!
You're young. Believe me, after 5 years or so, you'll look back and say "What was I thinking?".
2007-10-25 06:53:58 · answer #10 · answered by Maia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋