my daugher is 4 years old and started kindergarten this year,,,all is going good,,,except one day the school guidence counsolur contacted me say that my daughter was caught self stimulating,,,i was shocked,,i did notice a few time at home and i explained to her that she shouldnt be doing that,,,,now im a mess,,not knowing what to do,,,can any one help me,,what should i say to her to make her stop doing this especially in school,,,please help
2007-10-25 06:29:18 · 16 answers · asked by ladyluck1122 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Let her know that she's only allowed to do that at home in her room and that it's inappropriate for school. Explain that she can get herself really sick by doing it (germs at school) and that if she wants to do it in private at home, she needs to wash her hands before and after and do it in her room or the bathroom. Maybe have the counselor talk to your daughter, so she realizes that it's not just you wanting her to do it at home.
2007-10-25 06:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You and this counselor are looking at this behaviour as a sexual incident. Your child most likely is not. This is actually a normal behaviour. There is no reason to be a "mess" about it. You just have to keep reinforcing that this is not the right thing to do esp in public.
Your daughter has no idea that it's wrong. She's only four! Don't give her a negative attitude about this. You will only scare her and make her feel bad about herself.
2007-10-25 17:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is A normal part of learning and growing up, dont make her feel bad about this because she will start to feel ashamed of her self, masterbation is'nt just A boy thing , it's
A girl thing as well, talk with her and tell her that it's not nice
to do this in public, but I dont care how much you talk , if she
want's to touch she will, its her body !!
Maybe when you see start to do this you or her teacher can
offer her A snack, or A toy instead.
2007-10-25 16:35:59 · answer #3 · answered by koko 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a girl that age doesn't see it as masturbating, nor will she have any sexual feelings or thoughts with it like teens and adults, so don't worry about that.
She is just curious about her body and all the parts that are there, every child goes through a fase like that, nothing to be ashamed off!
You could explain to her what a vagina is, that it is there to pee through (thats all she needs to know now) and that woman and men have different parts.
If you catch her again, don't punish her but just simply ask her "what is wrong hon, you need to pee?"
Keep it light and normal, she is just curious!
I hope this comforts your mind a little!
Good luck!
2007-10-25 13:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the masturbating stories I could tell you.... Well, my daughter (now six) used to masturbate as a hobby when she was around that age. She started to take her hobby public as well so we sat down and told her that this was something that people do in private like the shower or her bed. We had to remind her here and there but either she has stopped or she finally got it. I would just be careful to not shame her by accident becuase it is totally normal.
2007-10-25 16:28:03 · answer #5 · answered by MG 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is very normal for a four year old. It feels good, so they like it. Virtually all of them do it in toddler/preschool years.
Instead of telling her not to do it, tell her to go to her room and shut the door. That is a private thing, and should only be done when alone.
Told both my kids that at age 2-3, and no more problems.
2007-10-25 13:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 10⤊ 1⤋
it is only just starting... you should, like others have already said, explain the right time and place to your daughter and never make a big issue out of it....
my daughter is 10 and my son is 11...
before i walk in either of their rooms i knock first and then when they say, " come in " i count to 5 before i do, so i don't catch a glimpse of what they were doing and embarrass myself and them....
good luck!!
2007-10-25 14:01:38 · answer #7 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's a completely natural thing, especially for young children who are just getting to know their bodies. You shouldn't tell her NOT to do it, just tell her that there are appropriate times and places for everything, and school is not one of them. My daughter just turned three, and I tell her to do that in her room by herself, not in front of anyone. It's unhealthy for her if you tell her not to do it at all--it's a human need, and if you tell her not to do it, she'll feel ashamed, probably for a very, very long time about her sexual side. I know she's only four and it seems silly, but this stuff is important. Good luck. I know it's touchy.
2007-10-25 13:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by still waiting 6 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Why did you tell her she shouldn't be maturbating? Everyone does it, it is a natural thing. She isn't going to stop. What would have been better was simply to tell her to keep it to her bedroom and not in public.
2007-10-25 18:17:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaaha, dont worry shes 4 and exploring her body just explain to her it is a very private thing and that she needs to do it in her rroom
2007-10-25 16:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋