Appearance and professionalism?

Question

Well, I am a supervisor at a crisis residential shelter for teenagers. I've been working there for 2 years now. During that time I've worked extremely hard to get the promotions that got me where I am today.

Lately I've been making some appearance changes. (strange hair colors, nose piercing..) For my 20th birthday last Saturday I got my lip pierced. My boss flipped out on me. He said that my image is an embarressment to the company.. blah blah blah.

I feel as if my appearance shouldn't influence their opinion on me. (I already get looked down upon for being the youngest supervisor)

I just feel like my clients don't really mind. In fact they tell me that they like having someone around that they feel like they can relate to.

So what is your opinion on this? What would do you?

By the way, there is no policy on appearance.

And it's not an office environment. It's a temporary home for troubled teens. I monitor them and provide counseling.

Answer 1

You should have discussed your appearance changes with your manager. Now, you should sit down and tell him or her what you said here regarding it helping your clients relate to you.
Like it or not, our appearance matters, especially at work.
I don't think it should but that's the reality.
Unless you own your own business or practice, you have to abide by the policy there.
When you own your own business then you get to decide what's acceptable and what's not. You may change your mind if customers aren't receptive or if business isn't coming in.
You have to look at all aspects.
I wish we weren't so preoccupied with appearances. We have a lot of work to do.

Answer 2

Every profession has unwritten codes of conduct, standards of dress and expectations as to appearance.

I would not suggest that you have to always be at the conservative end of the acceptable spectrum to be taken seriously, but going too far to the edges will naturally impact upon your ability to do your job.

You also need to consider that you have a multi-constituent audience for your projected appearance. There are your clients, co-workers, subordinates, supervisors and external agencies you deal with. Everyone puts on a persona to some extent with their work gear, so your choices are seen - and rightly so - as a statement of how you view your role in the organisation. It can also be read as a rejection of the organisation itself and a slight mark of contempt for the hierachy.

If you choose to project a persona that is outside the norm of expected appearance for your profession or peers - then policy or not - you have put you head up out of the long grass and you had better be prepared to take some heat. This may be a good thing in the long run but it is a high risk strategy that generally works out better in tv shows than real life.

Answer 3

Policy or not, something so radical should have been casually brought into a conversation with the boss just to gauge his opinion.
You are young and building a career so unfortunately you have to bend a little to conform even if it seems unfair. Twenty years from now I bet you will see his point. I thought so differently about the workplace back when I was your age. I cringe now at some of the things I thought I was entitled to. Hehe, life is for learning. You have the choice in the end, if you want to keep that side of your personal expression then you may have to find a job in a field which fully embraces that kind of look.
One other thought, maybe your boss was so impressed with you and had high hopes for a future in management for you and was really taken aback at this because he or she knows that a manager cannot look like that....

Answer 4

You boss has one small point; professionalism is usually about looking the part as well as acting the part.

Saying that you're an embarrassment to the company and whatever else is going too far though, IMO. Being able to relate to your clients is a very important part of the job, and being able to relate to teenagers in crisis is a tough thing to do. If having your lip pierced and dying your hair green helps them feel more comfortable relating to you, then I think it's far from being an embarrassment to the company.

If you work doesn't have an established dress code, and you aren't going to suit-and-tie dinner meetings with green hair, then I think you don't need to justify your dress style any more to your boss.

I would caution you though, that your boss will have the final say, so don't lose your job over a nose piercing. Talk it out with him rationally.

Answer 5

I agree that you should have discussed those changes with your boss. Most places do have a policy stating what is allowed and is not. (Oddly, my work policy dictates business casual dress but has no restrictions on hair color, piercings or visible tattoos. Don't quite get that one.)

Since it's too late for that, you need to sit down with your boss and find out what the policy is. If there's not one written, I don't think he can legally fire you or force you to change your appearance until one is written. I think you should explain to him, though, that your clients tell you that they feel like they can relate to you, probably because you look a lot younger and more easygoing than many of your coworkers.

Good luck!

Answer 6

It may not be an office environment but it iis still a workplace regardless of what its function actually is. You made an error in judgement when you did all these changes, and you're not supposed to be someone they can relate to, you should be someone they can look up to and emulate. Anyone, regardless of their qualifications, walking in for a job interview (which these teens will have to do someday) wearing body piercings, will be turned down before they can fill out an application form.
So stop irritating your boss; you work there, you get a salary you need to dress appropriately dress code or no. You have to be professional and you need to change your attitude; you are entirely replaceable...think about that next time you want to pierce something or dye your hair blue.
BTW, getting your lip pierced is not the best idea...Does nothing to enhance your looks...You sound like you need to grow up a bit and understand what your position is before your boss finds someone else who will appreciate the job and prefer to have someone who appreciates him for hiring them.

Answer 7

The company needs someone stable to mentor troubled teens. The fact that you are constantly changing your appearance/image is a bad sign. It shows you are in a stage of rebellion yourself, and not the best mentor for a troubled teen.

A stable, educated adult has no desire to dye her hair strange colors or pierce her face in multiple places. Instead, she is confident that her personality and natural looks are enough to make her successful. I don't blame your boss for his reaction, as I would do the same. I say either clean it up or start looking for a new job. You won't last long at this rate.

Answer 8

It's unprofessional, plain and simple. By dying your hair in all sorts of colors and getting piercings not only does it make you look like a child going through a phase, but it also makes your organization appear unprofessional. Your line of work is not the place to let your freak flag fly... you don't work in a creative field, you don't work at a record store...you're trying to influence young adults. If you think most professional places would have hired you if you had purple hair, you're terribly mistaken.

Answer 9

They probably freaked out because they associate appearance with actions. (you know, if your hair is blue you must be on something, type of thinking)

I would sit down with my boss and point out how long you have worked for them, how responsible you have proven yourself to be, and how the clients have told you they feel like they can relate to you. Tell him that you feel your appearance is a way to express your personality, that it in no way affects your ability to do your job, and that it does not mean that you are on drugs.

I could see their concern if you dealt with the general public on a daily basis. (Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who would freak out because of an "unnatural" hair color, tattoos, piercings, etc.) However, since you work with mainly teenagers, I don't see the big deal.

Just sit down with your boss and ask what it is about your appearance that has him worried and address his concerns. You may have to make some changes to keep your job. Then, I guess it just depends on whether you like your job or your freedom of expression more.

Answer 10

Whether you agree or not, your appearance choices matter in a professional setting. Making such drastic and unorthodox changes without discussing them with your boss is another professional gaffe. So leave your look at home if you wish to be respected at work.