What to do if my father doesn't work for many years?

Question

I'm desperate.
Seriously desperate.
I'm 20 years old, still live with my parents.
They have so many depts it's unbelievable, even after personal bankrupcy (since about half the debt is to family and friends and we want to repay them).

For last umm 17 years maybe, my dad has been giving math & programming private lessons in our home. He always preferred to work at home. But the thing is, he only has like a lesson or two per day... which is really not enough!!!
He had a couple of odd low-paying jobs from what I remember, each lasting for about a year or two. He never, and I mean never, got a job according to his profession: software programmer and tester. He is very smart. He has three degrees and real potential to make a lot of money. I don't know what is wrong with him. My money from work and credit cards go to the family or my college tuition. My mom is going mad and wants a divorce from my dad because it feels like he will never get a real job even though he always promises to

btw I will do absolutely anything to help him get out of this mess. I love my parents to death and they love me. My dad has always been there for me. I wanna be there for him. I just don't know what to do though. And about my mom, she also isn't much of a worker, because she had serious health problems ever since I was born. And now she had a baby and stays home with him. She is a low-level accoutant by profession. We also made 2 immigrations (now we're in canada for the last 10 years) and that was very hard and stressful for everybody.
5 minutes ago

When my dad was younger, he was a go-getter. He did absolutely everything. He was in university full time and training to be a professional athlete the rest of the time. He was never the way he is now. Something happened to him. It's like he is broken. But none of us can figure out what it is. Neither can he.

My dad (and we all do) really wants to open up a school teaching software testing and giving seminars, which is really in demand these days. He is a GREAT teacher. But he is just dreaming and not doing anything about it. For example, he purchased a domain name for his school website but it's still empty for like half a year. I can do the website for him but he says he has to think about what kind of website he wants... and still thinking about it. Very indecisive.

Answer 1

Sounds like clinical depression to me.Ask/make your dad see a mental health care professional.If it's not depression,he's just lazy.Sorry if that sounds cruel.

Answer 2

youre dad is old enough to take care of himself, you dont need to be his mommy and neither does youre mother.

you should go out and start youre life, his debts are not youre fault nore youre responsibility

should you get to the point you are self sufficient and can help the family members youre dad owes then by all means, if that makes you feel better go ahead and do so, but you are not under obligation to do so

maybe with youre good example youre dad will sit up and start taking care of business

good luck!

Answer 3

Your dad, while being book smart, seems like a very stupid and lazy loser of a person. His debt is NOT your problem and if you continue to live in that environment they are going to bring you down with them. Get out, finish school and move on.

Answer 4

I am curious as to why you think this is your problem. You can't make him work. Finish school and move on. It is not your job to support them. You only enable this behavior if you give them money and respond to the whole "woe is me" they are feeding you.

Answer 5

i'm not even a dr and i can tell you he is lazy. a good education was wasted on him. go to your father and talk to him. there is nothing wrong with him. start the web site for him maybe he will come around. good luck