What to do if my father doesn't work for many years?

Question

I'm desperate.
Seriously desperate.
I'm 20 years old, still live with my parents.
They have so many depts it's unbelievable, even after personal bankrupcy (since about half the debt is to family and friends and we want to repay them).

For last umm 17 years maybe, my dad has been giving math & programming private lessons in our home. He always preferred to work at home. But the thing is, he only has like a lesson or two per day... which is really not enough!!!
He had a couple of odd low-paying jobs from what I remember, each lasting for about a year or two. He never, and I mean never, got a job according to his profession: software programmer and tester. He is very smart. He has three degrees and real potential to make a lot of money. I don't know what is wrong with him. My money from work and credit cards go to the family or my college tuition. My mom is going mad and wants a divorce from my dad because it feels like he will never get a real job even though he always promises to

btw I will do absolutely anything to help him get out of this mess. I love my parents to death and they love me. My dad has always been there for me. I wanna be there for him. I just don't know what to do though. And about my mom, she also isn't much of a worker, because she had serious health problems ever since I was born. And now she had a baby and stays home with him. She is a low-level accoutant by profession. We also made 2 immigrations (now we're in canada for the last 10 years) and that was very hard and stressful for everybody.

When my dad was younger, he was a go-getter. He did absolutely everything. He was in university full time and training to be a professional athlete the rest of the time. He was never the way he is now. Something happened to him. It's like he is broken. But none of us can figure out what it is. Neither can he.

My dad (and we all do) really wants to open up a school teaching software testing and giving seminars, which is really in demand these days. He is a GREAT teacher. But he is just dreaming and not doing anything about it. For example, he purchased a domain name for his school website but it's still empty for like half a year. I can do the website for him but he says he has to think about what kind of website he wants... and still thinking about it. Very indecisive.

Answer 1

Move out.

Keep yourself out of your parent's problems.

Don't choose sides, just love both your mom and dad.

Make a conscious effort to not be involved with a man who is like your father. Women tend to marry men who are like their dads, and men tend to marry women who are like their mothers.

Live your own life and be happy.

Answer 2

Perhaps your dad has a problem working for others. This may be one reason he isn't actively seeking permanent employment. He could always go to the government and attempt to get some monies to begin his own small business, who knows it may eventually grow into something bigger. But if he refuses to go out and seek work then your families finances will never improve. And you should not be responsible for their debts, so don't feel badly if things go real sour for them. They are suppose to be the adults and powers of example to you, not be expecting you to bail them out by using your college monies. Best of luck but it is all up to your dad if he wants things to improve financially.