My son's father does not help me take care of my son. He does even work. I filed for child support because of this and now there's a warrant out for his arrest. I told him that I would never keep my son away from him no matter what we go through but he doesn't even take care of him. We got into an argument because he want me to take him off child support so the warrant will go away. He says that I'm a only thinking about money and not the fact the spending time with my son. Now he wants me to bring my son to his house so he can spend some time with him. But I told him he has to come here if he wants to see him. I'm uncomfortable with letting him go because of the arguments we have and i don't want him to take him one day. Here are the other reasons, He has no job, he doesn't really want a job cuz he's tryna be a rapper, he has no fixed address, i live in MD and he in VA, he sleeps at different peoples homes. He has no money, and he sometimes com pares himself to jesus! Am I wrong?
2007-10-25 03:37:50 · 6 answers · asked by 15 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you are not wrong and no judge in the world would insist that you take him to "where ever his dad is living at the time". You are not being unreasonable and don't take the child support off. If he wants to spend time with his son badly enough he will make the effort to come to your place to do it. Also, do yourself a favor and make sure that whoever watches your son for you knows that under no circumstances is it ok for your son to leave with his father unless they talk to you first.. That can be a problem. Dont give in hun. Good luck :)
2007-10-25 03:46:06 · answer #1 · answered by janierenel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the law to have to pay child support, and you should have filed for it long ago.
If the man wants to be a part of the child's life, he needs to help raise him, too... and that includes financial support.
You are right wanting him to visit the child THERE and not travel around like a gypsy with his dad. You can also address the courts on this matter, and they can set the visitation arrangements up so that he has to visit the child THERE....
Sometimes it's best to go through the courts where visitation is concerned.
And i'd be wary of anyone who compares themselves to Jesus.. does the guy have schizophrenia or something? (I'm not joking here). He doesn't seem very stable, and sometimes people with mental illnesses don't cope well in the real world.
I sure hope things work out for you and your child.
2007-10-25 03:56:31 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first responsibility is to your son. Sounds like you have some really valid concerns; the lack of a stable address, the lack of a contact and the lack of security all the way around. I would seek the assistance of an attorney or even your county's department of family services to see what rights you have under the circumstances. I don't believe you can keep him from seeing his son but I do believe you can apply stipulations to the visitations, especially under the circumstances.
Good luck!
2007-10-25 03:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, child support has no bearing on visitation. If you ahve a court order or an agreement for visitation, your ex can press charges against you. You can NEVER legally withold your son from him for failure to pay support. I urge you to let him see your and his son. Also, you don't want your child involved in your argument with him. He shouldn't be punished for anything in this.
I speak from experience. My mother wouldn't let me see my dad who was not the best person and didn't pay child support. I adored my dad, and I resented her for it. The judge, after he filed a suit against her, was angry and told her that in no way was she to keep me from him. In this, the judge learned of my dad's income and reduced his support obligation to an amount he could aford to pay.
The point of this is simple. YOur child will resent you for not being allowed to see his dad. You can talk bad about him all you want, but he will grow up and see the truth whether you want to believe this or not. Once he realizes that his dad really wanted to see him all this time and you wouldn't allow it, he will be angry.
My dad and I are extremely close now, and my mother resents me for havign a relationship with him. Whether it's totally true or not, I see her as the woman who bad mouthed my dad, whom I love dearly. I sincerely wish that I had been left out of the argument all those years. She kept me from him for 7 years, only allowing him to see me for a few hours on B'days and Christmas. I cried every time he left. I hated her.
2007-10-25 03:47:49 · answer #4 · answered by Allison P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's someone you should keep your son away from. The dude is messed up big time.
2007-10-25 03:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no, stick to your guns and don't leave him alone with your child and MAKE his sorry azz pay the child support! He needs to grow the hell up
2007-10-25 03:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by dixie_n_pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋