A young friend of mine is getting married at the end of November, she has been setting up her own wedding (to save money) and handling all the details with her fiancé. This week she received notice from her family members stating that due to their ‘Christian’ beliefs, they will not be attending her wedding or her reception.
This is something I simply do not understand. This woman isn’t a complete radical; she’s not a nudist, she doesn’t live in a hippy colony, she doesn’t sell drugs or internet porn, she doesn’t even broadcast her religious beliefs unless you pin her to the wall. I can understand not wanting to participate in a religious function if it would conflict with your own; but to totally refuse to attend your sisters, daughters, neice’s, or cousins wedding and reception simply because you are Christian and she isn’t totally astounds me.
I was wondering if I am missing some kind of ethics, or if this young lady’s family just has bad manners.
2007-10-25 03:15:59 · 19 answers · asked by Ann A 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
As with most religions, each thinks that their way is the only right way.Unthinking sheep.
Blind to the fact that we are individuals who should be smart enough to choose our own path in life and not rely on a guy at the front of the room telling us how to live our life.
It's this closed mindedness that causes the problems in the world.
Weddings are a time of joy and if they can't be present because of their beliefs, well then it's their lose.
Can't they be big enough to attend, no one said that they have to recite the prayers or kill the goat of anything else.
They were simply invited to BE THERE. It's the new couples day, not the guests. Come on people grow up.
2007-10-25 03:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lynne W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I kind of need a little bit more information on the differences here.
I'm a Christian. I have attended Jewish weddings and Christian weddings that are at churches that are different for mine. Most of the time, it's not a big deal.
I had a friend from work who got married 4 years ago. She and her husband are atheists. They got married in a church by a minister because they liked the setting and the minister was willing to marry them even though they don't believe in God. Some Christians would say they shouldn't go to that kind of a wedding because it was a mockery of a true Christian wedding. I can kind of see their point, but I figure, I know God is real and will bless them for at least having a desire in their hearts to be married in a church.
There is a wedding that I can't go to. My sister is a Lesbian, and she is supposed to get married to her girlfriend as soon as gay marriage becomes legal in their state. I love my sister and I think her girlfriend is a really nice person, and I have no desire to tell them what they can or cannot do in the privacy of their own home. But in my faith tradition, marriage is a holy Sacrament between God, one man and one woman. My religion considers attending a gay wedding to be condoning a mockery of our understanding of marriage.
I have no qualms with my sister getting some sort of legal protection through a civil union ceremony or whatever, but when/if she actually has a wedding, I can't be there.
I'm not looking forward to telling her I can't be there. She is going to say I'm shoving my religion down her throat, but that's not it at all. I believe she's free to believe whatever she wants. But I need that freedom, too.
2007-10-25 07:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by sparki777 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to repair the relationship,then invite her.It is an invite,not a court summons.If she chooses not to attend,you know where you stand.If she does attend,make sure you appoint somebody to keep an eye on her.Personally,I have no interest in repairing the estrangement from my father (already tried and I'm sorry,but there comes a time when you have to say "Screw this,it's causing me more pain to be in it than out of it") and my fiances family are also out of luck there too - I would rather jump off a cliff then have that bunch of idiots at our wedding (my fiance has a worse name for them).So it all depends on how important the relationship is to you (and forget the high road,if you do not want her there from the bottom of your heart and it's only obligation,then do not invite her)
2016-04-10 04:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They could be using their Christian beliefs as an excuse not to attend. It could be that they just don't like the girl or they're fighting with other members of the family over something.
Families are work, there are all kinds of games and politics snaking through the relationships in them. This girl should just forget about these people that don't want to go and she should just concentrate on having the best wedding she possibly can. The show must go on!
2007-10-25 03:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not missing anything. This unfortunate young woman's family has severely bad manners, ethics and a lack of compassion to use her wedding as a religious protest. As my mother would say, "How un-Christian of them!"
They will regret this petty and cruel behavior later on, but there will be nothing they can do to repair the damage they're causing. It truly is a tragedy.
2007-10-25 07:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by Avie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is a religion that truly believes that people not of their beliefs are devils. They do not associate with them except to try to get them to convert. They would not attend any religious ceremony except one of their own, or any wedding, in or out of a church.
There are other religions that frown upon it too. Really, if you were going to make a religion, and wanted the people you convert to it to stay in it, wouldn't you make sure they did not stray away from your church by telling them that it is sinful to visit other churches, attend a ceremony not in your religion, or without any religion at all?
We percieve their non-participation as bad manners, and we see that it is unlikely they are not going to be tempted by any devils, or any other religion. They do not see it that way. And if alcohol will be served at your friend's reception, they won't be there, either, and would think that attending the reception would be supporting your friend in her devlish ways.
Sad that the friend will be without part of her family at her wedding.
2007-10-25 03:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully she will not get too upset about this and realise that at least people who genuinely care will be there with her and her new husband on their special day. At least they have saved some money, and will do even more in the future, no more Christmas/birthday cards/presents to send to them.
I had a very jealous new Sister in Law show her true colours last New Years Eve, just after my wedding - I'm grown up enough to realise they are not worth worrying about, why have people in your life who's main goal is to try to upset you to make themselves feel better,
2007-10-25 03:35:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Family, you've got to love 'em! On my side I get the "your going to hell Christmas cards" On my husbands side his bro is suing his dad!( How Sharper than a serpents tooth it is to have an ungrateful child) I believe that weddings are whatever the bride wants them to be. The family should go along(short of animal sacrifice, of course) some people can't take responsibility for themselves and so have to make up a reason not to be involved. How about saying they just don't want to come???
2007-10-25 03:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by absent farmer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is more to the story than what they are saying. Christians absolutely believe in Holy Matrimony. Unless she is doing something unorthodox at the wedding or ceremony, I don't see why they would refuse the invitation.
2007-10-25 03:20:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
christians do believe in holy matrimony, but i've witnessed people not attending family member's weddings because the couple was "living in sin" before the wedding. terrible, stupid and uncalled for, but hey, without organized religions, zealots and morons, where would we be today?
2007-10-25 03:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by shriekingvioletta 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋