Here is the pic.I'm 21 &he's 42.He's divorced with a kid.I was in luv @ 16 &didn't date anyone before i met him.he's nice &everything but i just hate the fact that he's my No.1 and i'm his....!!i asked him once if he had any picture of his X-wife..he said BOLD NO..but once i went through his stuff while looking 4 something &i ended up with a pic of his X &him.Plus he told me that it was hard for him to move on after the divorce &told me that i was the only one he ever got close to.But recently..i asked him if he had sex after the divorce.he said YES & i asked with who? &he said.." with a woman".He told me before that he didn't get involved with anyone before he met me &he said this BOLD.I got mad coz he had me on making me think i was special &all.I hate the fact that he had alot when my experience is just the opposite.I love him but i'm not sure if i can carry all of these.
my pals joke over his age & all but i still take all of that.
i'm 2 young to get screwed.I'm unok with the past
2007-10-25 02:13:36 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We've been together 4 a year already.I'm waiting till i get married to have sex.I don't know if i'm in the right zone that takes me to the life i wished for.I'm turning bitterly sad inside.When he kisses me,i think of the things he lied about & his X's.I don't know if i can take all of these anymore.we both r working on one place..far away from my home.I live @ where i work.i wanted 2 go for degree but if i go for school that means i will have to leave him.So i'm giving up my school dreams &spending the best years of my life On site jobs.I lost my interests 4 writing(i love writing).I deserve to have fun ¬ worry about this @ this age.Don't know what i gotta do..i feel so weak each time i decide to leave the job knowing that this will be the end of us.i feel trapped.my pals r distant..don't have any pal here.he's like the only one i know.Do u think i am wasting my time by taking all of these.U think i will be able to handle all the pressures of his past.help me & hurry 4 i'm soo lost
2007-10-25 02:25:54 · update #1
Come on. You think a man aged 42 with a son is not going to be sexually active? Get over yourself.
The chances are he had casual sex, and this is common with people recently divorced. It's just sex.
It seems to me that you are seeing sex and love as the same thing, and this is not necessarily the case. For women it's got more emotional resonance to it, but still, this needn't be love.
I don't know if he does think you're special and really loves you. But I could imagine him getting fairly exasperated with your attitude - people do have sex without being in love with each other. That kind of casual thing doesn't suit all of us (I for one found that it never really felt right for me), but the thing is, everyone is different. You need to sit down with him and sort out this difference, and try to understand that not everyone has the same ideals as you do.
He cannot change his past, it's done. Holding his past against him is not a good idea. It may be that he wants a future with you. So you need to be open to this, and to discuss it.
2007-10-25 02:26:53 · answer #1 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is over. If he is faithful to you now then that's all you need to worry about. You are both adults and if the age difference is not the problem, then everything might be OK. He may have thought you were asking if he had a picture of her alone. To some sex is not involvement so he may have not considered having sex with a woman after the divorce was a real involvement. You need to clear the air before you leave him.
2007-10-25 09:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're too young to be in this relationship. For you to be jealous of his past like this is unreasonable. He's 42, he had a past before you were even born.
None of my business, but if my 21 year old daughter was dating a 42 yr old man I would FREAK. You should be out dating and having fun. Yoou need to grow and find out who you are before settling down with one man. At 42, he has very different looks on life and goals for the future.
PLEASE do not give up on school!! Please, please! If it's meant to be, you'll see him after you're finished with school. If he loved you he'd be encouraging you to go to school. Why be so unhappy?? Please leave and take some time for yourself. If you were my daughter, this is what I'd tell you. Go be a normal 21 year old young lady. Don't miss out on this time!
2007-10-25 09:26:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋