Let's say you are interested in a guy. You don't know anything about him, but you are wanting to know as much as you can. When you approach him and after her realizes that you are interested, he kindly says, "Please forgive me, but I am not looking for a relationship at the moment. It has nothing to do with you. I have some things going on right now and some things that have gone on in my past that I am currently dealing with. When the time comes that I am seeking a relationship, I need the person I choose to get to know me for my personality, not my past. I hope that you are still available when that time comes." Would you respect him more or take it as a massive rejection?
2007-10-25 02:08:52 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By claiming "I need the person I choose to get to know me for my personality, not my past." would set alarm bells ringing, as you wouldn't normally say that at the first date stage of any relationship, let alone a "We'll keep your details in case anything else suitable arises" situation.
Also the "person I choose" statement is arrogant.
I think you should say "Please forgive me, but I've got a lot of stuff on at the moment, and until I get it all sorted, I couldn't give you the attention you deserve, but I'd love to get to know you when I'm back on an even keel, so if you'd give me your number, I'd love to call you when all this is out of the way"
2007-10-25 02:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, both.
I mean of course a girl's first initial thought is she's being NICELY rejected.
Some may take that offensively, and others might understand and accept what you have to say and respect it.
I think I would honestly take it as a nice form of rejection at first and naturally be PMSing about it secretly. However in due time, I would learn to get over it and quit being so sensitive and realize that were all different and everyone deals with their past and how to reconstruct their future differently.
Which is what you would be doing, it's just something I would have to learn to handle in a mature fashion. It's a matter of understanding, acceptance, maturity, and patience.
2007-10-25 02:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would see it as very honest, and honourable. And very adult actually. Some people would give in to the temptation of some easy comfort and take advantage, knowing they were not in a position to give 100% to the lady. It is right too, that he should want to get his past dealt with before attempting to have a new relationship. I would give him a lot of respect and be tempted to wait as I would think he was likely to make a good partner, honest and in touch with his emotions.
2007-10-25 02:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by Wonderwoman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to respect him for his honesty. That for one thing is a rare commodity these days. Speaking for myself, I also would think you could be his friend and see what happens. It would give him the opportunity to have someone to talk to if he wanted to. Don't hang around every time You see him, just say Hi- how r u and go on. Everyone has bad times n they need their space to work things out in their head. Too those who would take it as rejection, They are the "all about me" type. Just an opinion. Good Luck to U.
2007-10-25 02:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by PJ ~88~ FAN 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would totally respect him. It's understandable.
Or it could be another way saying "Sorry, you're too ugly. I'm looking for a hot thing. Not a thing."
U can never know. We're not all mind readers. Haha, b/c I use that excuse on guys who hit on me. Not b/c they're ugly, b/c they're not my type. They're mostly the gansta and hustla hip hop type of guys which i REALLY HATE. So i use that excuse as a rejection. U can never know if guys would do that to ladies.
2007-10-25 02:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Evaの 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would certainly respect that.
But the other person is not me!
Each have a different personality.
And everyone reacts differently.
So it is entirely up to that person. You could soften it up further if you are really interested. But if you don't , then just say sorry, I am not free.
2007-10-25 02:17:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a similar situation, although the guy didn't really have the guts to tell me something like this...
Anyway, I'd be hurt, yes. But I will totally respect him for that. It means he's man enough to say something like it. I know it takes guts to do so.
2007-10-25 02:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by hopeless romantic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I might respect him AND take it as a massive rejection. My point? Don't worry about it. How other people take our truths is up to them. Sounds like you are doing just what you need to do for yourself.
2007-10-25 02:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by fabubabe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's massive rejection obviously. I mean, men (or any human being for that matter) are never too confused with life to actually be with someone whom they are interested in, right? Men are just so good at making excuses.
2007-10-25 02:15:40 · answer #9 · answered by Pinay Backpacker 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i took it as a rejection but that's only because the guy started going out with a girl probably like a week after he said that but if a guy that is nice and everything i would respect him for his decision unless i find out who he really is and what he really is like
2007-10-25 02:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by crystal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋