My boyfriend and i have known each other for a year now and we have a healthy relationship. The problem started when we started to make out and be involved in heavy petting. I feel really guilty about it as my family is strongly against pre-marital sex. This problem created a gap in our relationship as i'm always trying to pull away from my boyfriend. Is it wrong to have pre marital sex at the age of 20? My family has always taught me about being a pure woman with strong values and pride. My mother especially taught me to keep my virginity till i'm married but i do love my boyfriend. Help please, i'm in a dilemma.Thank you.
2007-10-24 22:02:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, I did have pre-marital sex...but I also think that one's beliefs are very important. How does your boyfriend feel about waiting for marriage until having sex? It sounds as though he doesn't want to wait. So, some questions for you...what are YOUR beliefs now that you are an adult, not your family's. And, if waiting for marriage is truly important to you, and your boyfriend does not feel the same....maybe he is not the right person for you in the long run....especially if he pressures you into having sex. Does he want to get married? Would he be willing to wait? That is important to know. If you do decide to have sex before getting married, just use protection, and get on birth control! I got pregnant out-of-wedlock twice. Luckily, the second time it was with the love of my life and we got married. But trust me, it is no fun raising a child on your own! Good luck!
2007-10-24 22:23:10 · answer #1 · answered by mpk33 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you know that it's wrong because you are hesitant to do it. Doubt mean don't. If you are unsure about a situation don't do it. I'm only 2 years older than you and I can say that I wish I had waited until I got married or until I met the guy I planned to marry. .
Society teaches us that sex is okay as long as you use protection and are sure.
Your parents taught you premaritial sex is wrong. I agree with your parents. A virgin is an EXTREMELY difficult thing to find.
Dicuss this in depth with your boyfriend. (Like more than once or twice) If he's "the one", he will understand how important this is and things will work out fine. If he wants to leave you over not having sex, TRUST me he isn't the one you want to give purity away to.
Best Wishes and be safe with whatever you decide.
2007-10-25 06:35:20 · answer #2 · answered by xtraluvly03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the only thing you are worried about is your parents then don't be you are an adult you can do whatever you want. But if you do want to wait until you are married then wait don't let your boyfriend pressure you in to anything. I personally don't see anything wrong with sex before marriage, especially as you and this guy are in a serious relationship he isn't just some random guy.
But all in all only you know how you really feel if you want to do, if not don't.
good luck
2007-10-25 04:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by mzp21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, this reminds me of the movie splendor in the grass. Anyhow, you are 20 aren't you? i believe you have your own beliefs and stand in this relationship. Does your boyfriend pester you into having sex or are you both madly in love that you wanna take the next step? Make this decision before any regrets and i agree that making love to the man you love is no sin. Why do you have to feel guilty? Is it because of your family values? Start to discover your own values and good luck!
2007-10-24 22:32:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I feel its better to wait. I do not have strong reason why I do say that because it can be argued against. But follow your heart. As me, my parents have instilled strong morals and values in me, resulting in my conscience being super active. So i cant have pre-marital sex no matter how tempting it is.
For you, you should really ask yourself is he the one? Because this process of "de-flowering" is irreversible and you cant get it back. Think about it over.... over..and over again. And ask urself if you ready for the consequences if anything screws up.
2007-10-24 23:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by HH 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The person you have to be true to is you. So do some serious thinking about how YOU feel about this situation. Don't be afraid to talk it out with your boyfriend. If this is the man you're meant to be that intimate with he also better be the man you're able to talk to about it before it happens.
But you're the one who is going to have to make the decision and live with the consequences. So don't do anything until you're ready to. And be ready to take all the precautions you can when you do decide to, whether it's before or after marriage.
2007-10-25 04:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you consider yourself a very Godly person then you need to listen to your family and know that you are doing the right things. If you cuss, smoke, drink, party. Do anything that is a sin, then having prematerial sex is no worse in my eyes. The main thing is to know that you are with the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with and make sure to use protection.... Good luck and know that you will be a changed person
2007-10-25 03:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by Alisha Dover 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is absolutely nothing wrong with pre-marital sex, unless of course, it makes you late for the wedding. The choice is yours not your parents, not your boyfriends, it's all in your hands.
2007-10-25 00:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend how much you love him and explained to him how you feel. It is not wrong to remain virgin in your age. In my experience If I can turn the clock back I would preferred your virgin on my wedding day. In your case it's not to late, if your boyfriend really love you and respect you and your decision then he can wait.
2007-10-24 22:26:09 · answer #9 · answered by Hanna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 20 years old, its your decision. Having sex does not change who you are. You will still have your pride and dignity. Who came up with the rule that you can only have sex when you are married anyway.
2007-10-24 22:15:51 · answer #10 · answered by AMP 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋