How would you feel if your childs school set up counceling for them?

Question

I can not sleep, I work second shift part time and it is so hard to wind down. When I got home I looked in my 6 yr olds bag to make sure my husband helped him w/ his homework. What I saw really irritated me. I guess he has been seeing the school therapist cause there was a book they made together about what a councelor does. Last week the school took it on themselves to give our small town food bank our name and address, my husband gets $13 an hr doung road construction, I go to school part time and work part time. Money is tight as can be expected when buying a home and paying debt that my husband had before we met 5 yrs ago. My son gets reduced lunch so I was patcient w/ them for giving our name to charity, even though we will not take it. But they never told me he was going to see the therapist. Both my kids are great happy souls. They are well taken care of, clean, good manored and happy. They rarely give me trouble and think I walk on air. They know they are loved and tell me

every day how much they love me. What on earth would give them the idea he, a six yr old, needs therapy?

I am beggining to feel that they have the wrong idea about us just because we are not rich like so many in our small comunity are.

I remember when I lived in the city as a young child that the "poor kids" got stereotyped." My kids have no idea we have money troubles. They have great clothes and never go w/out.

Answer 1

I understand exactly how you feel. My husband and I have suffered a LOT to give our children a good life. It's your responsibility to be assertive about this situation.

I would be up at that school quicker than the blink of an eye if I had the idea that someone was 'counseling' my child without my knowledge. You have every right to talk the teacher and let them know that this is out of line and that if they ever felt your kids need therapy they should have consulted with you or your husband firsthand!

There is nothing wrong with your kids. They have no right to get involved with that. I don't care if your address is given to a charity. Make it clear that you and your kids don't need anything and that they take them off the list. Pack their lunch homemade every day -anyone can afford a juice box for the week and some cheap bologna. Don't ever accept any charity stuff or even sign up for assistance. It gives the school space to think that there are problems at home.

Get involved with PTA or make yourself a presence there at that school. Make time to show up unannounced at the school on spontaneous days that you are free. This way it keeps the teachers on their toes.

If the teacher doesn't hear you out about this, then bring it to the principal's attention. They don't like upset parents in their office everyday and things will be fixed really quick if you are there and calling all the time.

Make a daily call to the school. The best way to handle people like that who are trying to get involved with your rights as a parent is to not give them any space to make a mistake like this again. It is a very serious matter as nowdays child custody and family issues make it simple for counselors to report child abuse etc. CPS is on their speed dial. So don't give them the time to do this ever again. Make yourself and your husband constantly involved. If it continues then put them in another school.

Answer 2

Are you certain the booklet meant that he's seeing a therapist? I can think of a number of reasons that a 6 year old would make a booklet like that including that the class is studying jobs right now. Find out for sure what's going on before you go off half ******.

The other thing you need to check on is if your husband OKed the therapist. Most schools need permission from a parent or guardian before helping a kid at that level. And they only need permission from 1 parent. Before you go off on the school make sure your husband didn't approve anything as he's the one helping with the homework.

And then find out what the therapy is for. Kids don't act the same way at school as they do at home. It could be that he is acting out in class and needs some help. Or is lagging behind the other kids socially and needs some help. Or is acting scared and needs some help. Or is going as a peer to help someone else. Or saw the therapist one time as part of a school evaluation that happens to everyone at that age.

Find out the facts so you know whether this is something that is good or bad. Before you make up your mind about it.

Answer 3

Try talking to your husband about the book they made maybe it will help you explain why they did that. Don't take this the wrong way but accepting something from food bank doesn't make you a less person. Take it as if they are just trying to help you out. Your still lucky atleast there still hope for you to make up for these town. I have a friend who is a single parent with 2 kids who is now 13 and 11 yrs of age. Her husband left her when her youngest is 6 months old. She work 4-6 hrs a day most of the time "we" her friends would buy her groceries and buy her kids some item for school, sometimes I would go to church (to get free clothing to send to poor country) She would ask me if she can pick some for her kids. because she doesn't wanna go to the church she said ( she will never go to such place to get some for free) I live in the country that begging is they're life, and I'm sick of it. Only rich people get rich and poor people get poorer.

Answer 4

I am a social worker in training, and have worked in foster care for the last three years. Therefore, I have a lot of experience with kids going to therapy when their parents don't necessarily agree with it. Here is my opinion...it is not okay for the school to put your child in counseling sessions without your consent. I understand that they think they are trying to help...but the truth is, therapy can actually be more traumatizing for children than whatever the "issue" may be (in some cases, not all). I would talk with the school and find out if you can discontinue the counseling sessions...you are after all his parent. I would also ask them what their concern is, and talk to your son about what happened and what the counselors at school talk to him about. It could be possible that there is an issue that your child is dealing with that you could be unaware of (unlikely, but possible). Remain cooperative with the school. Becoming hostile with them could only make matters worse. Good luck with this...I am sorry that you have to deal with it.

Answer 5

Instead of being so defensive, why don't you simply call. I think its inappropriate for a school to have your son see a therapist without your permission and you need to get to the bottom of it. But the attitude of "why are they doing this to me, I'm as good as they are", just shows off your insecurities. Try to keep your son's best interest in mind. Put your foot down if this isn't the right thing for your son but keep your drama out of it and be a grown up when you talk with the school.