life, and more importantly, your future spouses life and make their dreams (job/kids/education/ etc) fairly impossible, would you still marry them (assuming they still would be willing to marry you), or would you release the person from the engagement?
2007-10-24 21:12:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well I have mood swings, anxiety, depression, not so horrible as many other diseases, but crap. My problems are reoccuring and probably chronic and episodic. I considered leaving my partner, so he could find a better woman. This was during an 'episode', but I was this way when we met and he's happy with me despite my 'issues', so I'll respect him and his choice. Of course, I can tell by the way he treats me and the person he is that it's not guilt that made him want to be with me. I know he loves me. If someone loves you and chooses to be with you despite whatever issues you may have, count yourself lucky and respect the choices your partner has made for himself. I'd never do anything to hurt him purposely, but I am who I am issues and all!
2007-10-24 22:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to them about it... Life is not 100% guaranteed and you and your fiance have to learn to deal with the ups and downs because even if you were healthy your marriage would have ups and downs. I struggle with the same things you struggle with every day but in the end I deserve to be happy just as everyone else and I do everything to make it work. Good Luck and know that no sickness is an automatic death sentence if you are willing to undergo treatment and have a positive attitude nothing is impossible.
2007-10-25 10:31:48 · answer #2 · answered by honeyluv_2010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife decide to marry me even though I had thyroid cancer and was not 100%. I bought the diamond before the surgery, gave it her that day, and proposed after the diamond was set later that week. Been married 3+ years.
There is guilt knowing you are not quite 100% even after recovery and you want to give your spouse more. It complicates the marriage.
I have skipped radioactive iodine therapy (one doctor said it was not needed, rest want it done), in the hope of starting a family.
If it was reversed, my thought are if you were already married would you leave the person you love because they became sick ? Once you are engaged you are should be ready to love for in sickness and in health.
2007-10-25 09:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by no_frills 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, and talk it over with them. If your intended really loves you, they have already committed to you in their heart and won't walk away. If they do walk away, then you've discovered how much they are willing to stand by you in "sickness or health"
I have a close friend who found out that she had MS while she was engaged. She told her finance that he could go if he wanted, and he laughed at her and said it would take a lot more than that to get rid of him. They've been very happy for nine years now and are expecting their third child. It's not always easy to deal with her illness, but he wanted to be with her, sick or not.
2007-10-25 12:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it they are know EXACTLY What they are getting into, and realize that things were quarenteed to be difficult and trying on the relationship... yet they still wanted to stick around. I'd let them!! Thats what love is "For better, or for worst." I'd make an easy out clause in the pre-nup though. Making it easier for them to leave if they decide that they couldnt handle it, after all.
If roles were reversed, and my fiance became seriuosly ill... the last thing i would do would be abandon him. I would stand by his (bed)side, and support him - no matter what! Because i love him.
2007-10-25 08:08:59 · answer #5 · answered by loki_only1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be completely open with them about what was happening/going to happen, and then ask them what they wanted to do, because they would be the one to live with the choice, not me. If they really still wanted to get married, even knowing that I had a terminal disease, I don't think it would be fair to either of us to say "even though I love you and you still want to get married, I'm going to walk away from this because I'm going to die soon". But if they decided they didn't want to go through with it, I would understand.
2007-10-25 04:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heres the thing if the other person knows of your illness knows that your gonna be gone and still wants to marry you then that person is in love with you and wants to spend every last minute with you. dont deny yourself that love if you truely are terminal you need someone too. and who better then the person that accepts you even when they know you are dieing. They will get over it itll be hard for them but they will. set them up to achieve get your wills together and insurance in order.
2007-10-25 07:54:12 · answer #7 · answered by monizk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people have married prior to knowing there was a problem. some people married knowing they would die. It really does depend on the couple. My hubby married me knowing several things about me could affect our life. ive overcome them all. it's no longer a struggle to stay healthy, I am healthier then I have ever been. But you can't help who you love right? I hope this helps.
2007-10-25 07:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by dietitian4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I actually talked about this. I asked him, hypothetically, what we would do if we found out that one of us had terminal cancer. His answer? Move the wedding up to as soon as possible. And I agree.
Just because one of us is (hypothetically) dying doesn't make us not love each other. We would still want to experience our wedding day and be able to say that we are husband and wife.
:)
2007-10-25 08:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs.10/18/08 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think i'd be honest to my future spouse about my condition...we are in a relationship and decisions should be made together and honesty should prevail...i will however tell him that my preference would be to postpone the wedding...at least by doing this, i wont be going through the whole situation alone...i'm a weak person and his support would mean a lot to me...it will make things easier for me to bear...
2007-10-25 04:24:37 · answer #10 · answered by geisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋