Should I dump him?

Question

we have been together 1 1/2 yrs and he used to buy me flowers and do little things all the time. He also used to want to discuss big topics. About 6 months into our relationship his father died and since then had occassionaly done things but now he does nothing. When I told him I need these things as I am always doing little things for him and need to feel loved he said he loves me but he is scared. He admited I was right yet still does nothing small. All he wants to do is sleep and watch tv , sit with me and think about what he wants to buy or travel to.In the beginning he used to tell me to stop being so scared NOW he is scared.!! He pushed and pushed till \I fell deep in love.He says he doesn't know why and that he is in his own head. He never wants to talk about big stuff or do anything for me that is nice or romantic. No more sex really either. He said I need to initiate more and then when I do he turn me down. Is he just not into me ? Should I dum p him? He is 29 me 33

i have tried very hard to get him to talk about his dad. i was there. He says all the time how supportive i have been but i feel very alone here. I feel like I cook him dinner, clean up after him, we don't live together. I am his maid lately with no love back.

i have tried very hard to get him to talk about his dad. i was there. He says all the time how supportive i have been but i feel very alone here. I feel like I cook him dinner, clean up after him, we don't live together. I am his maid lately with no love back.

Answer 1

His father passing away has probably made him reevaluate his life. Just back off a bit for a few more months. Don't overwhelm him with too many of those little things, just an occasional reminder that you care. If he does not some around shortly, tell him that you need reassurance that he is still feeling the same way about you. If he loves you, he will make the effort. Don't waste your life. Do not let him use that excuse forever. A year is plenty enough time for things to get back to normal. If he does not come around soon, you need to move on. You can not get those young years back, and you are over 30.

Answer 2

First, we need to accept that something really traumatic happened to him.

Secondly, one cannot expect their s.o to be the same as they were in the beginning of a relationship. In the beginning, things are really lovely. They buy you flowers and talk all night long, they hold your hand and open doors. This behavior, unfortunately doesn't last. People are unable to hold this love state of mind for long. The infatuation stage of a relationship does not provide an accurate picture of your real S.O.

Factoring that into his traumatic experience, it is safe to say that perhaps it is him who needs the support. Men are not likely to reach out for help when they need it. Still, that doesn't mean that they don't need it. Talking about it probably won't work. Maybe you could give him a massage or fix him up a special dinner. Show him that he is not alone in his pain, but you are right next to him. Tell him that you support him but also show it.

This might require to put your needs aside for a bit. When he comes out from behind his stone wall of pain, you two will be able to enjoy a lasting, open relationship.

Answer 3

Maybe he is depressed from the death of his father. You need to be more understanding and supportive. No, don't break up with him if you are a real woman who stands by your man. Comfort him, try and help him get his mind off the death. He just needs time to heal from it. Be patient. You would want the same from him if it happened to you.

Answer 4

No! he should dump you. You seem like you are only worried about your own feelings, try to see things from his perspective once in a while.