My girlfriend wont let me use a condom.. what to do?

Question

Shes on birth control, weve been dating for over 2 years, and have been sexually active since June 22 of this year. We didnt use a condom the first 10 or so times bc niether of us had any STD bc we were both virgins. We live together and are financially sound if she did get pregnant. anyways I am not emotionally ready for a kid (although I do want them someday) and her friend just got pregnant while on birth control. This worried me a bit so I suggested to her that we use condoms just to be a little extra safe for now, but she said no. She said that her friends tell her its not as good with a condom, and she feels that we wouldnt be as "connected" if we used one. Im not emotionally ready for a kid yet (although if she did get pregnant i would honestly be excited, but i want us to have some more "just us" time first). Anyways my question: if she wont let me use a condom, is there any other way to be safer against preganacy? I dont know what I can do

she wont have sex at all unless im NOT wearing one.. and i dont want to give up sex

Answer 1

HER FRIEND is pregnant and your gf won't LET YOU protect yourself ?? RED FLAG!!! WARNING!!!! WARNING!!!!! SHE DOES EVERYTHING HER FRIENDS TELL HER TO!!

Making children is NOT something that should be taken as lightly as you are!! That is a MINIMUM 18 YEAR commitment, whether you and her stay together or not!! Babies CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE forever!! Your gf is NOT at all mature enough to be a Mother - she still does everything her FRIENDS tell her - YOU rank way below THEM!!! TELL HER - - - DO NOT ASK - - INSIST - - - WE WILL BE USING CONDOMS FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER YEAR - - - there are SEVERAL types, sizes, brands, flavors, thicknesses out there to choose from - try several until you find the ones you like. Also, keep them hidden away - do NOT trust your gf's intentions. She would NOT get herself pregnant with intentions of being with you - it would be for HER, because her FRIENDS do!!

"Wouldn't feel connected" using condoms?? BULL!! HER FRIENDS told her what now? That sex is "not as good"?? BULL!! GUARANTEE that is NOT all they TOLD HER!!

WEAR CONDOMS - - when she objects, say "THIS WAY or NO WAY, sorry sweetie" - - if she REALLY LOVES YOU, she will WANT YOU WITH the condom - - if she really throws a fit, you know what she is up to - don't let her force you in to ANYTHING you are not ready for by using sex as a weapon. NOT a good relationship.

Answer 2

Yes,that's strange,irresponsible of her and bloody dangerous!! So firstly consider this,what "sucks" the most,having a kid at your age,getting a potentialy lethal std,or using condoms? Then,your girlfriend clearly has something planned,if you're not up to it run a mile. Also,don't you forget that baies are only the cutest thing you can end up with after unprotected sex,more seriously (and more often than you can even dare imagine) you're likely to catch an std.They're not only for people with a very loose sex life,how well do you know your girlfriend's past? and all her ex-partners sexual past? and their ex-partners sexual past? You sound like a sensible guy,take the sensible option and only ever have sex if protected.Your girlfriend will have to either accept it,or if her only motivation is getting pregnant then she'll move on to another "impregnator".

Answer 3

Landon, sweetie...trust me on this one. Don't have sex with her, not one more time unless it is with a condom. You don't even know how much trauma and strife will be brought upon your relationship if she gets pregnant while you are feeling the way you do....

You are doing the mature responsible thing by wearing a condom...if she doesn't appreciate it, then she doesn't get any...

Take it from a chick...sex can be just as good with a condom as without.

The only way you can know you are protected is if you do the protecting yourself.

Now...if you are talking babies...why are you not talking MARRIAGE? that should be the first step here....try your best to do things in order and make sure you get on the same page.

Answer 4

While I was on birth control and even when I wasn't on birth control, me and my boyfriend of 6 yrs used the withdrawal method and I didn't get pregnant. It is still very risky but it worked for me. I am pregnant now though b/c we stopped using the withdrawal method. So you could try that. If not there is other birth control out there, but no birth control is 100% effective from getting pregnant. Even with a condom, it can break.

Answer 5

You could try using spermicide as well. It can be irritating for some women, but they make many forms of it. They have little pills of it that she would insert a set time before sex, or something called Vaginal Contraceptive Film. These are available at most places that sell condoms.

I can understand your girlfriend feeling that way, I am the same.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Well you could always stop before you ejaculate. Granted its not ever going to be 100% effective, but its something. Also, make sure you tell her that you arent ready for kids and it would be a shame if she wasn't willing to give you guys time together without the worry of a child.

Answer 7

Talk to HER about it.
you both have more options.
If she get's preg you two could get an abortion
(i am not for or against abortion. I believe only a woman could know if they are acceptable or not. i just know that i never want to have to go through with one wiht her)
let her know how you feel about the issue.
It sounds as though she is unaware about your "not being emotionally ready for a kid"
Just let her know. THings will work out for you

Answer 8

birth control works wonderfully as long as you take the pill according to the directions --- we had 3 children and they were all planned using the pill ---- there is a failure rate for condoms as well as the pill --- so i would suggest relax and not worry --- when you have children make time for yourselves even then --- we did not and we totally lost touch with each other ---- best wishes

Answer 9

Yes. Encourage her to use birth control pills, a diaphragm, or (preferably) both.

She can also consider getting Norplant, an IUD, or one of the many other options. Her gynecologist or family doctor can advise her better about this, and she should check into it immediately.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Gee I wish I had your problems... :) You can also explore the 'rhythm method', learn to understand the time of the month when she ovulates, and try to avoid it ,but that's not so easy, but improves with practise.
Outside of a monogamous relationship is the only time you really need to use condoms...